ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

How to Improve Communication Skills in Relationships

Updated on May 15, 2020
Kerrian mcmahon profile image

Kerrian is a professional relationship expert and analyst. She loves to write on her observations and research concerning relationships

The relationship between two people can be hard. Everyone is different and has different ideologies and principles, so we are bound to always disagree on things. Even when two people share the same ideologies, they have different experiences, expectations, and history. So, to be able to communicate and accept these differences and expectations requires some level of communication and understanding, which we all have or don’t have in varying degrees. This is why communication needs to be the bedrock of relationships for it to work out smoothly for both partners.

Talking or telling your partner things does not necessarily mean you are communicating. Communication is a two-way street that involves discussion, listening, and understanding. Are you just skimming the surface and avoiding the essential topics? Communication in a relationship should not always be about every day, running the home surface questions and answers; it should include deep conversations and the important life-changing stuff.

Good or lack of proper communication could either make or break a relationship. So, here are some tips you can implement to help you improve communication in your relationship;

1. Listen and Hear

Learn to listen and hear what your partner is saying. It can be quite tricky for a lot of people to listen and listen to what is being said; this is because most people are already making up a response or rebuttal in their mind while the other person is still speaking. It is a human shortcoming. When discussing with your partner, you need to put aside the points and listen to what is being said so that you can hear the message.

When you get the message, you would be able to answer in a way that would veer the discussion to the appropriate route, and your partner would hear your point as well. So, while your partner is talking, resist the urge to start forming all the responses you would make before they have concluded, instead, listen, hear and reflect on what your partner said before responding.

2. Be Open and Honest

For a lot of people, being closed off has become a way of life. While it can be a conscious decision to play it close to the heart for some, for other persons, they might not even know that they do not communicate or know how to do it either.

For some other people, they don’t know what they want in a relationship. You should sit down, think, and reflect on what it is you want in a relationship and muster the willingness to tell your partner. So realize on your own what you want and open up. Do not pretend that you are alright and getting what you want in the relationship; you would only be hurting yourself and building up resentment for your partner who has no idea. Being open involves being completely vulnerable, honest, and candid with your partner.

3. Pay Attention to Non-Verbal Signs

A lot of the time, human beings communicate with non-verbal signs and body language. These signs can be very telling of what the person is feeling or trying to convey. For example, eye contact or lack of it, tone of voice, voice inflection, folding arms, etc. Being able to read and understand these signs will help you know when your partner wants to be left alone, doesn’t want to talk, wants to talk, etc.

4. Find the Right Time and Manner

Do not go off every time, baring your mind, and struggling to be heard. It would make you look like an insufferable complainant and nag. Learn to find the right time and manner to approach your partner and discuss whatever is bothering you in a calm, clear voice that would put your point forward without aggression.

Bringing up your concerns in an unconducive time and manner could lead to distractions and defensive reception, then you won’t be heard, and your concerns won’t be properly addressed.

5. Stop, Breathe and Calm Down

Learn not to talk when you are angry, you could say something you don’t mean just to hurt your partner and then regret that you said that. When a person is feeling hurt, it is very common to want to hurt your partner with words so that they can feel how you are feeling; besides, misery they say loves company.

When you are angry, take a step back, count to ten, breathe in and out, and then tell your partner you would like to continue the discussion at a later time when emotions have subsided. Take time to calm down, recollect your thoughts, analyze the situation, and construct your thoughts more positively. It won’t be easy, but you can do it.

6. Never Assume

Assumptions and misunderstandings can cause harm to a relationship. You should learn never to assume but wait until you have asked and discussed your concerns with your partner.


Conclusion

Communication is not always about having deep conversations all the time; it also includes the everyday communication habits and discussions that partners have in the relationship. So, use these tips as a foundation to build a healthy communication system and relationship.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2020 Kerrian McMahon

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • Kerrian mcmahon profile imageAUTHOR

      Kerrian McMahon 

      2 weeks ago from United States

      You welcome.

    • profile image

      Ranar 

      2 weeks ago

      Well said and thanks the advice

    • profile image

      Florence 

      2 weeks ago

      This is a very interesting topic. Just like the writer made clear that one key ingredient of of a successful relationship is communication and i have experienced this myself. When things are clearly communicated in our relationship, we tend to get along better and show genuine empathy towards ur partner. Thank you for this article. Well explained.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://maven.io/company/pages/privacy

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)