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- Romantic Intimacy
How to Initiate a Kiss
It doesn't matter if you are a guy or a gal, initiating a kiss is some scary business if you've never tried it with that special someone. There are a few things you SHOULD do and SHOULDN'T. This is your go-to how-to guide for getting some action on those lips.
Make sure you're comfortable
There's nothing worse than going in for a kiss when one or both of you are in some awkward position. If you're a guy at a restaurant, don't lean over the table and have your tie end up in the soup. Wait for a moment when you both are already in close proximity and there is no chance that either of you will fall, trip, or get a crook in the neck.
Prolonged eye contact
This is probably the most crucial part of initiating a kiss. Look the other person in the eye and hold your gaze. Don't be the first one to look away. You should immediately be able to tell if a kiss is welcome by the amount of intensity in the gaze returned. If the other person quickly looks down, that is a red flag that you should wait for a bit.
Touch the other person in a non-threatening way
In other words, no boob grab or butt pinch. Instead, put your hand on their hand, or perhaps pull the other person in close with a warm embrace around the waist. Girls love to have their hair played with or a gentle squeeze on the neck and shoulders. Touching the face (specifically the cheek) is an intimate gesture as well.
Should you ask permission?
There are two schools of thought on this issue.
1. Some people think that asking permission is polite. It shows that you care about the other person's intimate space and you aren't assuming that you can go in just because you two might be flirting.
2. Others think asking permission ruins the moment and is a bit on the dorky side. How many romance movies do you see where the two people discuss the kiss before it happens?
My opinion is this: There are times when it is appropriate to ask and other times, when it might kill the moment.
To ask or not to ask?
Ask permission first
Go for it!
At a bar or a dance club- first time meeting.
Your on a romantic date and the other person is playing footsie at the table.
If the other person is with someone else (even if only kinda).
You're slow dancing together and you can't get close enough.
If you are dating someone much younger than you.
You are tangled up on the couch watching a movie together.
If you aren't 100% sure he/she wants a kiss.
You are taking a romantic walk in the woods holding hands.
You are saying goodnight on the front steps and he/she hasn't asked you inside.
You are alone in a car having an intense discussion about love...and the moon.
You are in front of family members.
The girl is leaning up against a wall playing with her hair and giggling. It's pretty much a "kiss me please" pose.
Don't go full throttle with an open mouth and wiggly tongue. It's too much like a weird scene from Alien. If this is your first time kissing, just give a gentle closed mouth kiss to see where things are headed. It's easy enough to slide into tonsil hockey should both parties be "feeling" it, but if one isn't, the slobber might just gross him/her out.
When in doubt
A kiss on the cheek can be friendly or romantic too. Sometimes you might be unsure about the other party. Giving a kiss on the cheek that is just a bit longer than normal can be the first step to a fun makeout session.
The best part is, if the other person isn't into it, then you simply say that you are European and that is the perfunctory way to say hello and goodbye. A nice smooth out!