9 Exciting Ways to Keep the Passion in a Relationship
How to Keep the Passion in a Relationship
A lot of lovers think it is very difficult to sustain the love and passion in a romantic relationship over a long period of time. Actually, it is not so difficult to keep the passion in a relationship. All you need is a little bit of commitment and a willingness to make the relationship work.
“If it is not so difficult to keep the passion in a relationship, then how do I do it?” you may be asking.
Let me show you how you can do it in these 9 steps.
Draw Up a Detailed Plan
The more you do things together as a couple, the better you can sustain your interest in each other. Therefore, if you want to keep passion in your relationship, plan to spend some quality time together during every year.
At the beginning of each year:
- Discuss ways in which you can keep the passion in the relationship alive.
- Have a brainstorming session and try to come up with about 50 exciting things you can do together throughout the year so that there will be no shortage of activities to help you bond as lovers.
- Spread these activities throughout the 12 months of the year.
- Plan to engage in at least 10 of these activities every four months.
- Write down the plans and a promise to abide by the plan. Type them, and print them. Typing and printing the plan is more likely to make you take it seriously than when you just write them in your diary.
- Both of you should hold the sheet at the same time and make vows to each other that you will follow the plan. Then sign the promise to show that you are committed to keeping the passion in the relationship.
- Keep the printed sheet where you can read it every week. Sticking it to your dressing table or beside your bed is a good idea.
- Remind each other of these plans every weekend so that you can renew your commitment to these promises.
To show further commitment, set aside about 5% of your monthly salary, and let your spouse do likewise. Give the money to the one who is more prudent in managing money. Use this money to make some of the arrangements you may need to make to spend fun-filled days with each other.
This plan will help to keep both of you focused on your relationship, which will help to keep your passion for each other alive.
Table 1: An Example of a Plan to Spend Time Together
January to April
May to August
September to December
We will visit Lake Bosomtwi at least 3 times
I must read at least 5 love poems to Isaac/Rebekah
Wouldn’t it be great to dance to our favorite love songs a whole night? We must do that once or twice
We must see Iddris Elba’s latest movie at Silverbird Cinema
We will spend at least 20 hours at the Kumasi Botanical Garden
Together we will grow beautiful flowers
We will go to the Kumasi Zoo
We will watch at least 5 games of Accra Great Olympics together
We will compose a love song together and sing it to each other
An Example of the Promise You Must Both Sign
I promise to sacrifice other commitments so that we can make this plan work. If I fail to honor my promise, I will have to buy you an expensive gift of your choice.
Remember to Make Time for Your Partner
One of the things that can make it difficult to keep the passion alive in your relationship is the inability to make time to show affection to your spouse. It is when you spend time with your partner that you can show affection to him, or receive affection from him so that you can keep the romance alive in a relationship. You must therefore find ways to remind yourself to spend quality time with your spouse.
One way to remind yourself is to draw a time plan:
- In this plan, apportion the time at your disposal every week among your various commitments ( in percentages). This will make you more committed to making time to have passionate moments with your spouse.
- Write it down and print it out.
- Resolve to discipline yourself to stick to the plan.
- Take the printed plan with you wherever you go to remind you that you have made a commitment to spend time with your spouse. Whilst in the public bus, or during your lunch break, read it. It will remind you that you have someone special you must keep happy.
Fig. 1. A time plan showing how you can share your time among your various commitments.
Feed Your Imagination with Romance
Plan to spend about one hour every week reading romance books to each other, or watch a romance movie together. Play your favorite love songs whilst reading the book or watching the movie. Focus on the portions of the book or movie where the characters show affection for each other. This will make the time you spend with each other more romantic. Make the moment more special by putting your arm around your spouse or partner.
This whole experience of reliving how other people show love for each other will help to stir feelings of love in you, and you will also want to show such love, if not stronger love, to your partner. It will help you to be more passionate with your boyfriend, girlfriend, or with your spouse.
Go to Romantic Places Together Often
One thing you can do to ignite passion in a relationship is to organize picnics at exotic, picturesque, and romantic places in your neighborhood or town, regularly. You may choose to have one every weekend or every two weeks, or perhaps once a month.
Hire a boat and take a ride on a lake or river with your partner to an isolated spot. Take along some sandwiches and bottles of non-alcoholic red wine or fruit juice. Have a picnic whilst you talk about your love for each other and the vision you have for your relationship—what you can do to keep loving each other.
Spend a weekend at an affordable hotel which has a serene environment. Use the opportunity to observe other couples and how they express their love for each other. Swim together or play tennis. Do something that will make you have fun whilst you renew your love for each other.
Take Night Walks Together
Take private walks together with your spouse or partner in the evening when you come home from work. During this walk, hold hands and ask about how your spouse’s day went. Enjoy each other’s company by teasing each other and saying words of affection to one another.
This activity will help you to catch up on each other’s day,in addition to helping you to have a romantic conversation with your spouse without being distracted by the children. It will provide you with an opportunity to bond romantically so that your feelings for each other can be strengthened.
Visit Couples in Great Relationships
Identify about 10 couples at your workplace, in your church, or in your neighborhood who have been in relationships for at least 20 years and are still very much in love. Make it appoint to visit these couples regularly at different times so that you can learn the secrets that help them to keep the passion in their relationships. Apply their principles unaltered to your relationship, or remodel their tips and techniques to suit your peculiar situation.
Remind Yourself of Your Partner Constantly
Record all the wonderful words of love your spouse says to you when you spend time together, on your phone, and make a video of the wonderful times you share together. Playback these words or watch the videos often at work—during the lunch break. Furthermore, record yourself saying words of love to your spouse. Send these recordings to your spouse when one of you travels from home.
Another way you can use these recordings and videos to keep the passion in your relationship(especially when your partner is not around) is to use them to remind yourself of how much your spouse loves you, in the night. Just before you go to bed, play back the messages and images and ruminate on the fantastic moments you have shared in your relationship, and the romantic things your partner has done for you.
It will help to keep the fire of love burning in your heart—the words and images you see will remind you of the love your partner has for you, which will help to stimulate, refresh, and intensify the feelings of love you have for your partner.
Take Breaks from Each Other Sometimes
The Bible says in Proverbs 25: 17 that, “Let your foot be seldom in your neighbor’s house, lest he become weary of you and hate you.” In other words, when people see you too often, or when you spend too much time with someone, it gets to a point where he gets fed up with you.
This can also happen in your relationship. Sometimes the relationship becomes stale just because you are having too much of each other. Therefore, from time to time, take short breaks such as weekend breaks—spend a weekend away from your spouse so that re-energize, and also miss him.
During some vacations, go to different locations and refrain from contacting each other—cut off all contact and just enjoy yourself. It will make you miss your spouse and you will come back home refreshed and with a great, new desire to be affectionate towards your spouse.
Surprise Your Spouse Regularly
When your spouse is able to figure you out entirely, it takes away a lot of the excitement in the relationship. Therefore if you want to keep the passion in your relationship, surprise your spouse regularly: give unexpected gifts, do things for him you would not ordinarily do, learn new ways to show affection and show him affection he has never experienced before. Make it difficult for him to predict what your next move or action will be. This will keep your spouse always expecting new things from you, and this will help to sustain the passion you feel for each other.
Some of the ways you can keep the passion in a relationship are to draw up a detailed plan of activities you will engage in together throughout the year, do your best to stick to the plan, stimulate your imagination to help you develop stronger feelings for your partner, and to surprise your spouse often. Sustaining the passion will strengthen your relationship and increase the chances that it will work.
How to Keep the Passion in a Relationship
Do you think you are still passionate towards your partner?
© 2017 Isaac Yaw Asiedu Nunoofio