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- Advice & Tips for Women in Relationships
How to Keep Your Man Faithful
A Woman's Role in Keeping her Man Faithful
Sometimes a woman's behaviour can influence her partner and push him into cheating. There might be no excuses for cheating but there will always be reasons.
Some of my friends imagine that nothing can be done about a man who cheats. They have thrown in the towel with quotes such as "once a player always a player", " all men cheat..." and " there is no excuse for cheating" . But we can keep our partners from cheating. He will eventually make his choice but we also have our role to make sure that his cheating habit is beyond us.
While this article acknowledges that women cheat too it's main interest is on male behaviour.
There is definitely no excuse for cheating. That's a fact. No need bringing in your partner's faults when you have been bursted. It's all void. Excuses! If indeed there were faults in the relationship he is supposed to have tried to work them out. Or he should have left the relationship. But since that he chose to cheat, that's just an excuse he found.
That logic could be right although those might not be just excuses but real reasons why infidelity crept in.
There will be debates about why the person being cheated on is the victim and therefore faultless. But is the woman really ever faultless?
You have to know why he cheated. You should listen to his explanation. He did wrong to cheat on you but did you contribute to it?
Sometimes a man will cheat just because he got the chance and that definitely does not have anything to do with you. He was curious, he was probably looking for some thrill or he just enjoys sneaking behind your back and cheating on you because he doesn't respect you that much. But sometimes, there could have been cracks in the relationship that you both tried to work out and weren't keen so he feels the relationship is too huge to just let go but life is also too short to hang onto a relationship that isn't 100% fulfilling. So he goes out to seek out complements. He ends up living a happy double life.
Most women do not want to share. We want to be in a relationship with no worry about STDs/HIV, fighting other women, and even raising the children he gets while with you. In other words, most women prefer monogamy.
How do you keep him faithful?
- Be the Woman he Fell in Love With
When he fell in love with you, you showed him your best side. Keep that up. The mistake most women do is getting comfortable. She starts thinking he should love her as she is.
No. You should be the woman he fell in love with. You have to be your best. You must be the woman he fell in love with.
Unconditional love doesn't exist. Everyone has a limit.He wanted you because he found you attractive, keep him focused. Don't turn into an unattractive someone he didn't know you were. Be consistent or be better not worse.
For instance, if you were a nice dresser don't you ever change that. Chances are that he liked you for that. Or if you used to cook for him you can't start competing with him. If you were pretending too bad. Do not start something you can't keep up with. Go back to the person that you were when he first met you.
- Cater for his Needs
Not just sexual but also emotional and even material if you can. But while you do so, you need to give him space too. Some men are really put off by a woman who wants to fix things for them in what we call "mothering". Do not smother him with your attention unless you are sure he likes it. Ask him if you can help out. Show you care about him.
- Arouse and Excite his Desires
The main reason why men and women get together is intimacy. You've heard all the stories about why love is the most important thing in a relationship but I doubt if love can stand without getting intimate. It's just natural that a couple wants to get closer and closer and closer....
But after sometime it will lose it's spark. It won't be a big deal just laying down and dressing up. Then he meets someone new who arouses him and bang! Literally.
Remind him about your spark. Do it subtly. Do not be predictable. Wear something sexy and pretend you are minding your own business. I think most men are generally turned on by a woman who has her own life. Just get into something rauchy and act like you aren't interested in getting intimate.
- Listen to him
You have to be a good listener. He should be able to talk to you and expect you to listen. If he's unhappy about something you did and you agree that you were wrong, you should change. Good listeners make changes. If you do not change you will gradually push him away until he resents you. He resents you so much but he wants to keep the relationship as he weighs his options so he cheats.
- Discourage Private Interactions between your Ladies and him
Don't give out his contacts to your friends. Some friends are actually snakes. While a principled man will know his boundaries, he will be confused by the ladies close to you giving him attention. He probably respects and trusts them but when they start making advances he might not know how to turn them down. Keep your private life private unless you want to invite serpents into your relationship.
- Don't give him too much Freedom
Let him know you expect him to be monogamous. You are an item and you owe each other transparency. You should be able to touch his phone and comfortably scroll through. He should be able to do the same with yours. Make it clear from the start that you don't want games. He will either be in or out. In case you have doubts about his dealings, you should speak up. Do not accuse him of things you aren't sure about. Sometimes when we are accused of things we did not do or don't even intend to do, we end up doing them. That relationship should be the type where you can discuss your issues openly.You should be able to tell each other what you want freely.
- Forgive Fast
When he apologises and you still want him you must forgive him fast. If you keep on the resentment, you will push him away and he will get used to not being in good terms with you. You will push him away straight into someone else's arms and by the time you decide to truly forgive you will be too late and might have to either let him go or share him with someone else.