- Gender and Relationships
How to ‘Beat’ Single Life and Live Happily
Living a single life in a marriage-dominated world is hard. A world that leans so much on marriage than creating a balance between single and marriage leads to singleness viewed as a bad omen. Singles find themselves in a hot seat not knowing what to do as they end up confused and depressed. This results to many rushing to marriage in order to satisfy their friends or loved ones.
Whether you intend to be married or not, it is possible to live a fulfilling and happy single life. You will still face challenges and staring looks but you should not be swayed if you have purposed to live single life for a short-term or period or permanently.
Below are methods you can apply to live a fulfilling-happy single life.
First, Consider the Benefits of Singleness
There are many benefits derived from living a single life. Many married people wish they never got married or didn’t hurry to get married. Remember, marriage is like an institution. This is whereby two partners have come together and formed a union. As such, each partner needs to adhere to the laid down rules in order for the union to survive for a long time. Being bound by those rules is what makes living a married life very hard.
In fact, it will not be far-fetched to note no man wants to be ruled. No man likes to be bound by rules and regulations. Man wants to be independent. This is why living a single life is the better option as you’re not bound by your spouse. You’re independent to do what you want. You follow your own rules. You are not accountable to your spouse neither will you feel a tinge of pain at the thought of hurting your spouse time and time again or being the one who is always hurt.
Once you know the benefits of singleness, you will not be discouraged or feel bad whenever you see married people. You will know that is their choice. If you intend to get married, don’t hurry. In marriage, you’re bounded and even though you may feel you’re free, in reality you aren’t free. Take your time.
Second, Do What You Love Doing
Every person is talented or gifted in several areas. Which things do you love doing most? Do you like playing football? Swimming? Reading? Writing? Volunteering? Watching movies?
When you make use of what you love doing, you’ll be filled with inexplicable happiness. Actually, you’ll be filled with unexplained joy. You’ll enjoy your single life as you do what you love doing. You’ll not face the wrath of your spouse you’re regretting your family by concentrating much of your time on your hobbies.
Your hobbies or talents will enable you to appreciate your status. They will act as your companion. If you spend the whole day and night reading novels, you won’t cause rift between you and your wife. Doing what you love doing will help you know you’re not limited in doing what you love doing. In marriage life you’re limited to make use of your hobbies or talents.
Third, Hook Up With Single People
Don’t spend most of your time with married people. It is not bad to visit your married friends just don’t frequent them very often. You might end up wishing you have a family of your own when the fact is you’re not yet ready to get married. In another instance, being in the company of married people might make the married people loathe you.
There is the mentality many married people have developed. As a single person in their midst they feel you don’t belong in their midst - you’re not in their league. You don’t know what it means to be a father or mother. You don’t know what it means to be responsible and accountable. In short, you don’t know.
Therefore it goes without saying it is better to spend most of your time with single people who don't know what marriage is all about. In addition, you can spend some of your free time with your family or cousins, if they’re near.
Fourth, Adopt a Child
Many single people want to have a family. When they get married they want to have children. If you have made up your mind you’re never going to get married but want to have children, then adopt a child.
There are millions of children who are orphans. You can adopt one or several of them. Even though you’ll feel an aching in your heart you’re raising a child that is not yours, nonetheless in time you’ll feel the joy of raising the child. Children bring untold happiness. This is the reason once a wife gives birth her attention is no longer directed to her husband but her new born baby.
There are single people who have adopted children and are living happily. Instead of sleeping with a man in order to get a child, there is a child who is longing for your love. When you two come together, in time, you’ll be inseparable. You will love the child as if he/she is your own.
Fifth, Program Your Mind
When you program your mind, your heart will fall in tune. We know it’s from the heart you develop feelings. When you feel lonely it’s because your heart is feeling lonely. The heart feels the mind reasons.
Once you program, or reprogram, your mind on the facts why you want to remain single for some time or till death, then it will try to make sense to the heart. Even if the heart will feel crushed it will have to accept for the mind will convince it why you want to be single.
If you never want to get married, program your mind by telling it why you don’t want to get married. Tell it to remind the heart you’ll not get married and you’re not going to allow emotions such as jealousy and loneliness to take control of your single life. If you’re not yet ready to get married, tell your mind why you’re not yet ready, why you need to wait. If it is too early to get married, tell it why it is too early. The heart needs to know and it can only know when the mind tells it.
Sixth, Learn To Be Independent
When you learn to be independent of thought and actions, then you will not feel lonely. You need to learn to be alone. When you learn to be alone you’ll never feel lonely nor feel bad when you see married people. Being independent doesn’t mean you don’t want company of any. It means you have realized at times you need to be independent both psychologically and physically.
Seventh, Embrace Your Stage Of Life
You can never force things to happen quickly. You will only have yourself to blame. You might end up getting married to the wrong man. When the time arrives to get married, you’ll know it is time - you’re ready for it.
At this stage of your life, embrace it and comfort yourself in it. If you don’t want ever to get married, realize and re-affirm to your mind which will convince the heart you’ve embraced single life. It is something you have pondered, thought a lot, analyzed and evaluated it and have decided you’re good at being and remaining single.
The mind might want to you to get married but the heart wants to be single. Ensure both of them why you want to remain single.
Eighth, True Happiness
Learn true happiness comes from within. Happiness is not derived from having a relationship with someone. Happiness comes from your heart. No one can make you happy if you are not happy inside. If you are not happy with yourself how can you be happy in a relationship? How can you be happy in your life if you can’ be happy with who you are and the status you’re in?
Ninth, A Companion
There are two types of companions I’m talking about. The first is a human being. You can decide to rent a shared room with a friend of yours who is single. Even if you’ll live together temporarily, at least you will not feel lonely or left-out.
The second one is have a pet as a companion. This will make you not feel lonely. Even though you can have a pet or a friend as a companion, you still need to learn how to live alone if you’re living with a friend. A pet will make you busy by playing with it, feel you with happiness and you won’t get bored most of the time.
Once in a while you can volunteer your time in a charitable event. The thought of assisting will make you appreciate your singleness and the benefits that come with it. It will fill you with untold joy. When you look back at the charitable events you volunteered your time, and possibly resources, you’ll feel good at being single.
Eleventh, Date Yourself
Take yourself for an out. You can date yourself by taking yourself to a cinema, to a café where you spend time eating or mostly drinking a cup of tea while reading a novel or visit an animal orphanage. You can treat yourself too. You’ll love it and enjoy the experience.
In conclusion, singleness is a stage of life. Getting married early is no different from getting married late. The only major difference is the length of the union. Age doesn’t matter in a relationship. If you want to get married, it’s best you enjoy your single life before getting married. There is no worse feeling than regretting. Don’t regret why you got married early on or why you forced yourself to get married. Life was made to be enjoyed no matter whether you are married or not married. Enjoy your single life. It is a gift you’ll never experience in marriage life.