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How to Make Him Adore You

Updated on May 20, 2013

Hint: It has nothing to do with your looks

One of the strangest misconceptions that women struggle with these days is that you have to be physically beautiful to attract men. Even the women who say they don't intellectually believe this, seem to unconsciously equate beauty with deserving love and attention.

Whereas it's true that physical attraction plays a large part in attraction, there are so many components to how attractive you're perceived to be - all of which are within your control.

So many women spend so much or their time dieting, seeking out new beauty trends, and beating themselves up for not being thin enough, pretty enough, fill-in-the-blank enough without realizing that how attracted a man will be to you depends most on how you are rather than what you look like.

True attractiveness is not how pretty your face is, but how it lights up when you're happy. It's not how plump and pink your lips are, but the words that come out of them and the smile that shapes them. It's not about how big, thin, or tall you are, but the manner with which you conduct yourself - the confidence with which you carry all that nature has bestowed upon you.

As Antoine de Saint-Exupéry so cleverly demonstrated in The Little Prince - love has nothing to do with what can be seen.

It has everything to do with what's felt.

It's true - ask any man who is sincerely, truly in love what he loves most about his woman and he'll most likely reply that it's how she makes him feel.

It doesn't matter how gorgeous a woman is - at the end of the day, the woman he'll be thinking about is the one who makes him feel like he's on top of the world whenever he's with her.

So, how do you make your man feel like that? It has everything to do with your personality.

1. Be appreciative

This applies not only to your man, but to everything in life. In How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie states this as one of the top ways to live your life in a way that endears you to people.

Being appreciative is not about endless compliments or resorting to fawning over your man - it's as simple as saying thank you when he does something sweet for you, even if it's just getting you a cup of water. It's as easy as expressing your delight when something he says or does makes you happy. Being appreciative is the easiest way of positively encouraging him to adore you and to keep on doing it.

2. Be positive.

Positive people are fun to be around. It's almost as if you breathe easier around them. Ever been around someone who laughs so much, you find yourself laughing in spite of yourself every time you're near them? Happiness and positivity are contagious.

If you are positive, your man can pick up on this as naturally as your dog knows when you're having a barbecue. The more he enjoys being around your positivity, the more he'll want to adore you, to keep you positive, to keep you happy.

3. Carry your own weight

This is something that often gets lost in a close-bound relationship, but it becomes more crucial the closer you get. It is imperative that you carry your own weight in a relationship rather than leaning on your man and using him as a crutch.

Mostly we are talking about emotional weight. If there is something not quite right in your life, if your emotions are a mess - it's good to confide in your partner, but it's better to have the ability to untangle yourself first. This is the meaning of true independence...and it's sexy as hell.

4. Invite him to challenge himself

We phrase it this way because very often "Challenge him" gets distorted out of context. Challenging your man does not mean to browbeat him in a competitive way - no one likes that. It also does not mean to make yourself completely unavailable and play hard-to-get games with him. No grown man respects that.

Instead, invite him to challenge himself by continuously improving yourself and expanding your world. Know your passions? Pursue them! Want to try something new? Go do it!

A woman who is constantly improving herself and living life to the fullest is a natural challenge to any man. Resorting to game-playing and faking this might pique his interest for a short while, but focusing on living your own potential will make him adore you constantly.

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