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How to Fall in Love with Mr. Right

Updated on February 21, 2016

This is the question that women have asked the most in their lives: "how do I make him fall in love with me?" The simple answer is you can't. You can't really make a man fall in love with you any more than you can make a horse drink the water you lead him to. It's not about making him fall in love, it's about leading him to know the best possible version of you and if that makes him fall in love then that's great, if not well there's plenty more where that came from. The most simple yet most complicated truth to remember is that you can't make a man fall in love or really do anything besides give him the time and space to make his own decision.

A tough thing for many woman to accept is that you can't really make a man fall in love with you. You could be the most beautiful, intelligent, and wonderful woman on the planet and there will still be that one guy who just won't give you the time of day. You begin to wonder what's wrong with you because you seem to be getting the attention of every other guy, just not the one you really want. You can't make a man fall in love with you, and the truth is that you shouldn't have to either. If I know anything at all it's that no happily ever after came from a woman chasing a man down and trying to make him fall in love with her. A woman just shouldn't have to do this. A woman is the one who is meant to be chased and eventually caught..if she chooses to allow this to happen.

I'm a big believer in fate and I believe that the man who is meant to be with you will find you and chase you down. Does this mean that you can just sit back and do nothing? Not exactly. You can start by being the best possible version of yourself so that when the right guy does come along you're ready for everything he has to offer. Being the best possible version of yourself means taking care of yourself first and foremost. This means watching what you eat so that you have a healthy body, working out so you look your best, and wearing the clothes that are best suited to your particular figure.

You also have to be in the right mindset to be ready when the right guy comes along. It's not enough to just have an idea of what you want, you have to get more specific than that. I believe that you attract the people and things into your life by the quality of your thoughts. Making a list of the qualities you want in a guy on a piece of paper gives a direction to the type of guy you can attract into your life. You have to know what you want in order to get it and by making a list you're basically drawing a map from you to the guy you want. Things on your list could include qualities of a guy such as height, education, kindness, or any other physical or personality characteristics that you prefer in your idea mate. Does this mean your right guy will have all those qualities? No, but he will have the majority of them or enough of them for you to be comfortable with.

So why does it seem like you can get every guy except the one that you really want? Well that's an easy one to answer because you appear carefree and unattainable to the guys you don't want because you don't pay them any attention or even look at them. This brings out the hunter instinct in men which make them want to chase you and get them to like you. The more you ignore these guys the more they want you because you are viewed as unattainable to them. That's how you need to appear to the guy you want the most in your life. Yes, you should make it clear that you have an interest in him but leave it at that. Don't just randomly appear in places you know he frequents. Don't always be available when he calls you and drop all other plans. Don't give it all away too soon because that will cause him to lose all interest in you because you just ruined his entire chase game.

I know what you're thinking, the right guy doesn't play games right? Well he shouldn't for the most part. But he is still a guy so he might still play games in the beginning because maybe he's not thinking seriously about you right away. Maybe he doesn't yet know that he wants to be in a long term relationship with you because you're simply in the getting to know stage. The person you might end up with probably won't be a soulmate connection where you know right away that you two are meant to be. This is a rare and wonderful thing that happens to maybe 10% of the world's population. Most of the time you will have a mutual attraction towards each other before anything else and want you do with that determines the outcome of your relationship.

A relationship with the right guy shouldn't be one big game though. The right guy doesn't have time to play games with every girl he meets because he's too busy looking for the real thing so that he can settle down and start a family with the right girl. Maybe in the beginning he wants to test you in some way to determine if you're even the right type of girl for him but once he realizes that you are he stops the games and the chase and gets down to business. You can know which type of guy you are dealing with by the way he handles himself on your dates. The right guy asks you questions about you because he wants to find out everything he can about the object of his affection. He will probably share some details about his life but mostly he will focus on getting to know you and what types of things you two have in common. If a guy is only talking about himself and not asking you any questions on a date then he is not the right guy. He is only interested in himself and therefore has no room in his life for you because he is currently in a long term relationship with himself.

The biggest mistake women make is that they find a man they really like and then they try to mold themselves into what they believe is a girl this man will like. This girl is nothing like the person they are and so they are essentially playing a game themselves. No one wins this game in the end because the guy finds out who you really are and might feel disappointed and lied to and the girl hasn't come any closer to finding the right man because he didn't have the chance to know the real her. I believe it is better to just be yourself regardless of the consequences. You shouldn't have to pretend to be anybody else to get a guy to love you. It shouldn't even cross your mind because you know the right man will like the real you and anyone else who likes to play pretend can just play with themselves because this is real life.

Being the real you means being a woman of quality and mystery. It means not telling everything about youself on the first date. It means leaving a little to the imagination and dressing the part of a woman of quality. If he wanted to date a typical playboy bunny type girl he wouldn't have to look too far because those blondes with platinum blonde hair and big breasts are a dime a dozen and they all look almost exactly the same. There is no point trying to look like one of them when you can look like the best possible version of yourself. It's always better to be an original than be a tired old copy.

Women have a tendency towards wanting to change the man they're with, but you won't have to change him if he is Mr. Right. If you like how attractive the guy you're with is but want to change his friends, his wardrobe, his hygiene habits and pretty much everything else about him then he is definitely not Mr. Right. So is Mr. Right perfect then? No, because no person is absolutely perfect but he will be pretty darn close in your mind. You won't even have the desire to change things about Mr. Right because you like him exactly like he is. Changing someone implies that you don't like them as they are and that doesn't make a great relationship. This doesn't mean that you both can't make improvements to yourself but if you just like one quality in a person and hate everything else then he is not the right man for you. You shouldn't have to change someone so they fit into some perfect description that you have of the right guy in your mind, you should instead find the right guy in real life and then you won't have to change a thing because he is already what you are looking for.

It is truly sad to see what today's society has labeled as love. Friends with benefits is a popular concept today that couldn't be further from the true meaning of love. Friends with benefits is basically using a friend who you don't really like enough to be in a relationship with but think "hey they're good enough to sleep with until someone better comes along." That is just a degradation of love and shouldn't even be called love because it's not. Another popular idea today is one night stands because what could be better than sleeping with a stranger after you've had one too many drinks? This is another modern fallacy that many people believe could lead to love. Seriously? I think you'd have better luck just going speed dating then thinking a one night stand could lead to true love. Mr. Right probably won't be into a friend with benefits relationship because the type of person who gets into those isn't looking for anything serious. Mr. Right also won't be a one night stand because he doesn't want his future wife and mother of his children to be a woman who doesn't respect herself and sleeps with random strangers after a few drinks.



Love shouldn't be about the chase or about looking like someone else to attract a man into your life. Love is about the connection you feel for another human being that defies logic and reason. You shouldn't go into dating thinking or scheming up ways to win. That's not the right mindset when you're looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with. I believe that the people who know these simple truths are the happiest people in love. They only bring to the table what they have which is their true selves without any games or riddles to solve. Everyone wants to win in love but they forget that real love isn't a game and it doesn't have any rules.

When the Right One Comes Along

© 2015 GreenEyes1607

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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 23 months ago

      Two very important statements:

      "You can't make a man fall in love with you, and the truth is that you shouldn't have to either." In the words of Oscar Wilde

      "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."

      Your other statement: "The more you ignore these guys the more they want you because you are viewed as unattainable to them. "

      This actually works for men as well which is essentially what your first statement is about. "Nice guys" have complained forever about women chasing after jerks or "bad boys". They simply don't understand it.

      Time and time again the "nice guys" get sent to the "friend zone" mainly because they are an open book. They hear all the things many women say about wanting a man who is honest, reliable, respectful, and attentive but then they witness them go after the complete opposite.

      I've often said you can stick a woman in a room with five men and have four of them get down on their knees extending their heart out towards her while the 5th guy sits in a corner sipping a cocktail acting as if she does not exist. That will be the guy she wants to get to know!

      She sees him as a challenge, a mystery, and for ego sake she has to prove she could have him if she wanted him too! This is especially true if she is aware of other women who are into him. Competition increases his value!

      Ultimately you hit the nail on the head when you said create a list of the traits you want and be yourself.

      It's not sticking to one's shopping list that gets them into trouble. Pretending to be someone else to win one's heart generally backs fire when you revert back to your "authentic self".

      Also you gave great advice about not trying to "change" a man.

      Very few people are walking around with one hand raised in the air screaming: "I'm looking for someone to change me!" The reality is most people want to be loved and appreciated for who they are.

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