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How to Make Long Distance Relationships Work

Updated on April 12, 2015

It's so lonely here without you.

Keeping the long distance love alive

Yes, they can be difficult, and not without their fair set of challenges, but with a little imagination you can bridge the divide and keep the connection going when you are miles or oceans apart.

Now just a telephone call is no longer your only option, we have VOIP, Skype, emails, and one of the instant messenger programs, such as is used by Apple iPhone.

Instant video, as long as it’s short, can be compressed and sent via your phone. You can really be creative here and record random snippets of your life, or sit and talk to him as though he is with you. It doesn’t matter what you use, it must just help your partner feel your love.

Whatever the circumstances of why your relationship is long distance, such as; working somewhere else as that’s the job offer or where the work is, perhaps they are in the Army, or perhaps it's someone you met on an Internet dating site; there will be times when you question your sanity, or you may find yourself questioning the choice you made and the future you have committed yourself to.

Single, yet not

Although you have this person with whom you are planning a future, you are living the single life, you sleep alone, shop alone, eat alone, and your friends don’t entirely get it if the distance state of affairs goes on for too long.

There are many things you can still do 'together,' such as both getting the same movie and planning a time to sit down and watch it together. Read the same book then discuss about it, or set a reminder to go off every day at the same time as your partners – and at that time you both know that the other is thinking of you.

What is like to be in a long distance relationship? BuzzFeed Yellow

Trust and maintaining closeness

In any relationship, trust is a big thing and in long distance relationships it can be crucial. Perhaps you're sitting in, and your partner says he is going out with friends that night, you may be tempted to interrogate your partner.

Remember the distance will not make a difference if you both want the relationship, however, as with any relationship, it will break up if either of you meet someone better, whether your partner is across the road or on another continent.

Make sure you are honest with your partner and don’t let them have concerns or trust issues. Enjoy your social lives, and when you ‘with’ each other discuss your goals, your future together, and support and encourage each other.

Visit as often as possible, and ensure that you have all the physical time to show your mate how much you have missed them. Mentally, you know you are a good match because you do a lot of talking, but the physical touching, hugging, kissing and loving needs to be met, and as it is so infrequent, it makes it new and exciting each time, and you are less likely to take it for granted.

When you grow old together and the physical aspect becomes mostly hugs, kisses and hand holding, your relationship won’t founder as its built on communication, deep affection, trust, and mutual respect.

Learn Something New

Perhaps while you are apart, you could learn or take up something you have always wanted to do, but didn’t have the time?

What have you always had a secret desire to do? Now is the time to do it. Would you like to write a book, illustrate a book, learn photography or perhaps take a course in adult education or something that will improve your education and job prospects.

Cooking classes, learn how to paint, a sport of some sort – any of these extra things add a new dimension to your life and will enhance your happiness and self-satisfaction.

Top 8 Tips for a long distance relationship - The Danocracy

Practice taking selfie videos

Smartphone video helps to bridge the distance in your long distance relationship and when used correctly brings sharing and interacting to a whole new level.

Unlike photos where there’s a flash, video requires light on the subject otherwise the visible becomes a blur. If the light is in front of the lens it may create a halo effect making your image indistinct. So try to adjust either yourself or the lamp you’re using behind the lens, reflecting on to you. Overhead lights are more effective though, as is daylight.

Do a test run before the real recording to ensure the angle of the lens and lighting are right. Once it’s all correct – talk to your man, or chat to him while you're cooking!

Eliminate Selfie Arm with an iPhone

If you own an iPhone you can eliminate ‘selfie arm’ when taking a picture by pushing the + button on your Apple earbuds’ remote, while the camera app is open. You can use the play/pause button in the middle of the remote to start and stop recording the video when in video mode. Obviously the headphones need to be plugged into your phone, and the relevant apps open for it to work.


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    • profile image

      papa seck 2 years ago

      I havreality is e these forms of relationships so many times because I travel and I meet wonderful people. But the hardest is situated in the fact that it not always facile to go back or have your loved one come to see you.

      Any one in situation has my ampathy


    • Sunardi profile image

      Sunardi 3 years ago from Indonesia

      It maybe because we're busy everyday. So, we have no time to care about other woman and man

    • CyberShelley profile image

      Shelley Watson 3 years ago

      Sunardi, Hi nice to have you visit. Glad your relationship is working, although not easy, it can be successful.

    • Sunardi profile image

      Sunardi 3 years ago from Indonesia

      I have been in long distance relationship for more than 2 years. We only chat on video call or just texting on phone. I am so lucky because it's working until now

    • CyberShelley profile image

      Shelley Watson 3 years ago

      DDE, Hello there, glad to see you stopped by, thank you as always for your kind words!

      Everydaywalk, Thank you for taking the time to comment, 2 years is a long time and as you say, it's not an easy task.

      Nell Rose thank you for commenting, and visiting, I do appreciate it.

      Kenneth Avery, Thank you for you kind words, popping over to visit right now!

    • profile image

      Kenneth Avery 3 years ago

      Nice hub. Well-written. Voted up and away. Very delightful. I had a long-distance relationship back in 1973. It lasted for awhile, but her faith and mine were different, is the reason she said, and it went south.

      But that is just one case. There are numerous people who have long-distance relationships and they work.

      I cordially invite you to read one or two of my hubs and follow me. I am going now to leave you some fan mail and follow you.


      Kenneth/ from northwest Alabama.

      and Hi, Nell Rose and DDE, nice to see you two tonight. Stay safe.

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 3 years ago from England

      Hi Shelley, yes it must be so hard to be apart, but your ideas are spot on, the idea of both watching DVDs at the same time is great! I have never been in this situation but I would imagine I wouldn't like it, nell

    • everydaywalk profile image

      Prime Aque 3 years ago from Davao City

      I once had a long distance relationship and it lasted for 2 years! It was hard but your tips above are very helpful. Communication is the key to a long lasting relationship, and while waiting, we have to keep ourselves busy for things that worth it.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      I have never had a long distance relationship and your ideas sound so useful. Being apart can be a problem for both partners.

    • CyberShelley profile image

      Shelley Watson 3 years ago

      billybuc, Thank you for visiting, when I was in my early 20's I had a boyfriend in the army, and I think that must be the scariest long distance relationship as you always worry about them coming home.

      jtrader, Thank you for stopping by and your comments - and you are right it's always fresh when they come home!

    • jtrader profile image

      jtrader 3 years ago

      I have been through this and you are spot on with your observations. It can be hard to do some things by yourself but at the same time, you have lots of new things to talk about when you communicate.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I've never been in one but I can imagine how difficult it would be. I would think there would be a great deal of frustration involved. :)