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How to Make More Friends in your 30’s

Updated on May 30, 2019
therealrustyshackleford profile image

I'm here to share my experience with my struggles and knowledge from what I've learned in life, in hopes that others can benefit from it.

Socially, for most people, everything was easier when we were kids. We didn’t have so many worries or complicated lives and emotions to deal with. Unfortunately for a good portion of people, the older you get the harder it can be to meet new people and make relationships. What makes things even harder for some is when old friends move away, have falling out with friends you realize weren’t healthy for you, or if you’re just a shy self-conscious person.

Self Love

You may need to work on being more self-confident before getting out there. You need to be comfortable with yourself, and like yourself. Otherwise, how can you expect others to like you if you don’t feel the same way about you? There are multiple reasons may feel this way. If it happens to be body image, there are multiple affective ways to achieve getting rid of fat, even ways of changing facial structure over time. If you want to work on your body, I recommend…

  • The Keto diet. It’s a strict low carb no sugar diet, but it’s pretty easy to loose weight on this with minimal effort. Exercising is important to do with it though to speed it up further. It was also give you a boost in positive energy, which will make you feel even more confident. Read up more on it here. In the future I plan on making an article on how I manage my keto diet and how to cook it for every week.
  • Though a bit of a random tip, it may help with confidence over time. For changing your facial structure, you can change your jaw line muscles over time by going through a motion with your tongue. You press it up against the roof of your mouth, like you had gum and were spreading it all across the top. Doing this motion every day can reshape this part of your jaw area for a better toned shape, believe it or not.

Be Positively Interesting

What’s also important is to make yourself an interesting person, so that people are interested in you. Take in new interests and hobbies. Learn new skills from youtube tutorials. Study a subject you may normally not think about too much. Learn how to have fun and explore new games you could play with others. Or maybe you’re already an interesting well rounded person. If so just skip this step. But what's even more important than being an interesting person is to just be a nice considerate person.

Are you shy or anti-social? Personally, I consider myself both of these. I have pushed myself several times every week to be better and try to get out of my shell to others. It may be hard, even when you force yourself, but you feel better for doing it and gain a sense of accomplishment. Thanks to technology and apps, we can have a bit of easy practice and execution at this. These can open us up to meet up with new people, people who we share common interests with.

For practice, in order of recommended beginning practice to execution


  • VRchat:
    This is just if you happen to own a VR headset with an Oculus Rift or an HTC Vive. It may sound like a weird suggestion, but it's really a good starting point for practice. You can find many people to physically talk to on your headset’s microphone and practice chatting away. Don’t expect highly intellectual conversations to happen too often though.
  • Facebook events/groups:
    Depending on where you live, you may not find too many things going on. Or maybe things are happening a bit further out. But it might be worth getting out there despite the distance. Find something you know you could enjoy. If you have a significant other, try to bring him/her along. Weekends typically have more events going on. As for groups, there are various groups you can find based on interest. There are also groups dedicated to the town you live in, and people often converse about what’s going on in town and chat about other things. It might be a good way to meet someone.

  • Shapr:
    This is going to possibly result in a one-on-one meetup after chatting in the app itself. It will mostly turn out to be a chat about your career path and possibly other interests, but it’s a great experience. I’ve met a fellow graphic designer on there and we had a nice chat and learned a few things from each other. If you two get along well enough and want to stay in contact, they’ll want to meet up with you again. Or maybe they do this often with many different people and don’t mention meeting up again. Don’t take it personally, it’s networking after all.

  • Meetup:
    Same as facebook, depending where you live you can find plenty of groups to join. It can feel a little overwhelming looking at the amount of groups, and you may find it hard to do something you actually want to do, but it’s a good way to meet people, and you’ll get more used to group settings if that’s not usually your thing. When you attend, most people may already know each other and you may have to introduce yourself to a whole group at once, so be prepared for that.

  • Bumble friends:
    Yes, within Bumble, there is a friend and networking mode as well. You can also do this on okcupid too by saying you're looking for friends and I believe filtering that in the search, but it's not as useful as bumble's. It might feel weird to some to be on a dating app that lets you find friends instead of dates once you start using it. It won’t show you people of the opposite sex, so you’re limited to your own as far as I can tell. You may find yourself judging profiles a little differently. Look for someone who seems to have a friendly face, someone who has similar interests and someone who is fairly close by. My personal experience with this is mixed, as I was invited to a tattoo convention, which wasn’t my thing. It was semi interesting, but got old fast. I felt like it was hard to connect with the guy on a common interest and personality level. He had a bit of a pessimistic outlook on most things that most people, including me, enjoy. But a negative experience shouldn’t turn you down from trying again.

  • Social Circle: Expanding who you know directly from your social circle
    Optional for those who have one, this may be the easiest path to take if you already have one. One of your existing friends can introduce you to other people you may not already know.

  • From work: This one never really works out for me for a bizarre set of reasons, based on where I'm assigned to sit. Every job I've been assigned to sit away from others and I don't know why it usually turns out that way. But, in most people's cases, this is one of the easiest ways to get to know people, unless the people you work with are cold and uncommunicative.

A big factor for me personally in meeting new people is having the same common interests. If you feel the same way, then you'll be happy to know that Facebook may be implementing a feature like this in the near future for people to connect based on their interests, which hopefully will be a great new way for people to come together and meet. It's not known when or if this feature will arrive though.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2019 Rusty Shackleford


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