- Gender and Relationships»
- Relationship Problems & Advice
How to Overcome Jealousy in your Relationship
Maybe your partner is talking to another girl, finds someone attractive, texting someone and it brings up this twisting knot in your stomach.
It’s intense and takes up your whole body.
You feel hot with anxiety, anger and jealousy all at once and you don’t know what to do with yourself.
Maybe you’ve worked on your thoughts about this before and you know your thoughts about it aren’t real but you keep coming back to this fear that he’ll leave you.
So what do you do?
Make Peace with Reality and I’m OK Tool
You might not like the answer but the tool to use is the Make Peace with Reality and I’m OK tool.
Allow the jealous and fearful thoughts to be there and make peace with the idea he could leave or he might find someone more attractive than you. It could happen.
You’re trying to push the thoughts away but in the end, you don’t know what’ll happen.
Make peace with this potential reality and remember you’ll be okay no matter what.
You’ll be bummed for yourself but if he thinks he’ll be happier with a prettier, younger woman, you want that for him because you want him to make choices he believes is best for him.
You know you’ll be okay.
My Wants Matter Tool
Then use the My Wants Matter tool.
Do YOU want to be with someone who wants to be with someone else? You know you offer a deeper, more amazing love than her and you know you’re amazing. So what do YOU want?
I wouldn’t want to be with someone who wants someone for superficial reasons and maybe you don’t either.
Third tool is Self Love.
What are you making it mean if he potentially wants someone else? Are you making it mean you’re not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, funny enough? Fuck that, remember your self love routine.
You’re a badass warrior and keep reminding yourself of that.
Fourth tool is Compassion
This is a tough time you’re going through – real (he left) or imagined (it’s in your head).
You’re human, be compassionate with yourself like you would a friend.
It’s okay to cry, it’s okay to be angry, it’s okay to be jealous. You’ll be okay either way. We all go through this at some point.
You’ve got this girl, make sure you focus on the Self Love part as that’s your anchor to your inner strength