How to Pick-up Women for Dummies: a 12 Step Guide and a Poem
Expert Dating Advice
Where do most people normally go to obtain relationship and dating advice? Probably, the advice columns of teen's and women's magazines, or various Internet sites. Most of the people who provide the so-called "expert" advice in these arenas have often had multiple relationships and been on tens, and even hundreds of dates.
Stop and ask yourself, "Are these really the people I should be taking advice from?" I mean, wouldn't you be better listening to the opinion of someone who got it right the first time..well, almost anyway?
Admittedly, it is a long time since I dated and things may have changed a little since then. I mean the Internet didn't even exist, and I think the Commodore 64 had just been released, but hey, people are still people. Men still want to attract women, and vice versa.
Until I married at 25 years of age, I did my share of dating and had a few relationships, but I could count the combined number in my two hands. Then, at 24, I met my now wife and six months later we were married. 34 years on we are still together and going strong. So, who you gonna take advice from, some 20 year old that is dating three nights a week and still trying to get it right, or a 50+ year old grandfather who "got it right" decades ago, and has observed his sons' and daughter's numerous dating and relationship experiences ever since?
Preparing for a Date
Often the hardest part in the process is getting her to agree on the date in the first place. If you are naturally good looking and charming, you are already half way there, but not everyone has those attributes. Some of us just have to make the most of what we have.. Be that a sense of humour, easy going attitude etc.
Once you have plucked up the courage to ask her out, and she has said "Yes!" The real work starts.
Appearance is important! This can't be denied, because it does create the first impression. Spend extra time on your grooming and hygene in preparation, shower, shave, trim your beard, use deodorant. But please don't go overboard on the aftershave..one or two squirts or a splash, not half a bottle.
Dress to impress, and if a suit is appropriate for the location of the date it is a good idea to wear one. However, if you are planning on taking your date to the beach this just won't be suitable. Also, if you have never worn a suit before..forget it! You just won't feel at ease and you'll come across at trying to be something you're not. Wear the best clothes you have that you also feel comfortable in
Looks and charm may have helped land you the date, but you can't rely on them alone, and if you turn out to be a pretentious bore continually talking about yourself, your career, and past conquests, the date will crash before it even gets off the ground.
Now let's talk about the date itself.
One of My Personal Favourites
12 Step Guide to Dating
- Greet her with a smile and appear genuinely excited to see her (at least she didn't stand you up)
- Be chivalrous (it' s not dead really). Open the car door for her, and any other doors and let her enter first, pull out her chair to let her sit first etc.
- Don't use those corny pickup lines you've heard 100 times before. Also, be careful making up any of your own unless you are a stand-up comedian or a classic romantic poet of renown.
- If you are nervous (which is natural) admit it. The chances are that she is too, and it will help to break the ice.
- Don't pretend to be something you're not (she'll see through you ... woman's intuition). Just be yourself and act natural.
- Smile during the conversation, and hold eye contact. But not to the extent of making her feel uncomfortable - that's creepy.
- Make her the centre of the conversation. Be an attentive and interested listener.
- Act confident without being pushy or argumentative. Don't insult the waiter or complain about the food just to show off (if it's warranted fair enough).
- Show pride in your achievements, if she asks, but don't brag.
- Ask her opinion on things/causes that interest you, and genuinely show respect for her views even if they oppose your own.
- Don't swear or tell dirty jokes (especially on a first date). But laugh at any jokes she tells.
- Write her a poem, or recite one to her.
The Dating Poem
by John Hansen © 2016
Thank you for coming on this date,
It really made my day.
I'm not used to the singles scene,
Or games that people play.
May I say, you're looking great,
I really am impressed.
Your makeup compliments your hair,
And I love the way you're dressed.
Please tell me all your interests,
And about your family too.
I want to find out everything
That makes you into you.
What causes do you care about,
And wish that you could fix?
What are you seeking in a date,
Is it friendship, love, or sex?
Now, ask me anything you want,
I am an open book.
I won't pretend to be a chef,
When I'm just an average cook.
Thank you for your company,
I had a lovely time.
I'd love to meet with you again,
That's if you liked this rhyme.
What is your favourite type of date?
Internet Dating, a Whole Different Ball Game
This article aims to offer some advice to make "old school" dating easier. Internet dating is becoming much more the norm these days, and it is a whole different ball game. Although some of the basic rules remain the same there are also a lot of additional things to take into account, and that's enough to fill another entire article.
There are numerous other hubs and Internet articles dealing with that aspect of dating so I won't even try to touch on them here. However, no matter what type of dating techniques you employ, I hope you found something in this article to help you find Miss Right .. or if she is a fellow hubber or author, maybe that should be "Miss Write."
© 2016 John Hansen