ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

How to Pick-up Women for Dummies: a 12 Step Guide and a Poem

Updated on December 2, 2020
Jodah profile image

Happily married for over 30 years, John dated prior to that and has since watched and offered relationship advice to his four children.

Expert Dating Advice

Where do most people normally go to obtain relationship and dating advice? Probably, the advice columns of teen's and women's magazines, or various Internet sites. Most of the people who provide the so-called "expert" advice in these arenas have often had multiple relationships and been on tens, and even hundreds of dates.

Stop and ask yourself, "Are these really the people I should be taking advice from?" I mean, wouldn't you be better listening to the opinion of someone who got it right the first time..well, almost anyway?

Admittedly, it is a long time since I dated and things may have changed a little since then. I mean the Internet didn't even exist, and I think the Commodore 64 had just been released, but hey, people are still people. Men still want to attract women, and vice versa.

Until I married at 25 years of age, I did my share of dating and had a few relationships, but I could count the combined number in my two hands. Then, at 24, I met my now wife and six months later we were married. 34 years on we are still together and going strong. So, who you gonna take advice from, some 20 year old that is dating three nights a week and still trying to get it right, or a 50+ year old grandfather who "got it right" decades ago, and has observed his sons' and daughter's numerous dating and relationship experiences ever since?

preparing for the date
preparing for the date | Source

Preparing for a Date

Often the hardest part in the process is getting her to agree on the date in the first place. If you are naturally good looking and charming, you are already half way there, but not everyone has those attributes. Some of us just have to make the most of what we have.. Be that a sense of humour, easy going attitude etc.

Once you have plucked up the courage to ask her out, and she has said "Yes!" The real work starts.

Appearance is important! This can't be denied, because it does create the first impression. Spend extra time on your grooming and hygene in preparation, shower, shave, trim your beard, use deodorant. But please don't go overboard on the aftershave..one or two squirts or a splash, not half a bottle.

Dress to impress, and if a suit is appropriate for the location of the date it is a good idea to wear one. However, if you are planning on taking your date to the beach this just won't be suitable. Also, if you have never worn a suit before..forget it! You just won't feel at ease and you'll come across at trying to be something you're not. Wear the best clothes you have that you also feel comfortable in

Looks and charm may have helped land you the date, but you can't rely on them alone, and if you turn out to be a pretentious bore continually talking about yourself, your career, and past conquests, the date will crash before it even gets off the ground.

Now let's talk about the date itself.

One of My Personal Favourites

12 Step Guide to Dating

  1. Greet her with a smile and appear genuinely excited to see her (at least she didn't stand you up)
  2. Be chivalrous (it' s not dead really). Open the car door for her, and any other doors and let her enter first, pull out her chair to let her sit first etc.
  3. Don't use those corny pickup lines you've heard 100 times before. Also, be careful making up any of your own unless you are a stand-up comedian or a classic romantic poet of renown.
  4. If you are nervous (which is natural) admit it. The chances are that she is too, and it will help to break the ice.
  5. Don't pretend to be something you're not (she'll see through you ... woman's intuition). Just be yourself and act natural.
  6. Smile during the conversation, and hold eye contact. But not to the extent of making her feel uncomfortable - that's creepy.
  7. Make her the centre of the conversation. Be an attentive and interested listener.
  8. Act confident without being pushy or argumentative. Don't insult the waiter or complain about the food just to show off (if it's warranted fair enough).
  9. Show pride in your achievements, if she asks, but don't brag.
  10. Ask her opinion on things/causes that interest you, and genuinely show respect for her views even if they oppose your own.
  11. Don't swear or tell dirty jokes (especially on a first date). But laugh at any jokes she tells.
  12. Write her a poem, or recite one to her.

A romantic serenade. Sing to her or recite a poem
A romantic serenade. Sing to her or recite a poem | Source
Dinner by Candlelight
Dinner by Candlelight | Source

The Dating Poem

Thank you for coming on this date,

It really made my day.

I'm not used to the singles scene,

Or games that people play.


May I say, you're looking great,

I really am impressed.

Your makeup compliments your hair,

And I love the way you're dressed.


Please tell me all your interests,

And about your family too.

I want to find out everything

That makes you into you.


What causes do you care about,

And wish that you could fix?

What are you seeking in a date,

Is it friendship, love, or sex?


Now, ask me anything you want,

I am an open book.

I won't pretend to be a chef,

When I'm just an average cook.


Thank you for your company,

I had a lovely time.

I'd love to meet with you again,

That's if you liked this rhyme.

Dating Couple
Dating Couple | Source

What is your favourite type of date?

See results
Internet Dating
Internet Dating | Source

Internet Dating, a Whole Different Ball Game

This article aims to offer some advice to make "old school" dating easier. Internet dating is becoming much more the norm these days, and it is a whole different ball game. Although some of the basic rules remain the same there are also a lot of additional things to take into account, and that's enough to fill another entire article.

There are numerous other hubs and Internet articles dealing with that aspect of dating so I won't even try to touch on them here. However, no matter what type of dating techniques you employ, I hope you found something in this article to help you find Miss Right .. or if she is a fellow hubber or author, maybe that should be "Miss Write."

Good luck!

Happy Couple
Happy Couple | Source

© 2016 John Hansen

working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)