How to Read your Date's Body Language
Is Your Date a Liar?
How do you accurately read your date's body language? Rather than falling prey to charm and verbal seduction tactics, be observant and trust your instincts. A little knowledge of body language can help you see the reality of a potential partner's character or intentions. For example, your date might be saying: "I really like your hair," while flicking a hand dismissively, or suddenly for no reason, twitching a leg, or kicking a foot.
When Things do not Add Up
How do you Know?
How do you know when your date is not being sincere? Watch: where is the attention, the focus? They may be sidetracked by the competition parading by.
Famous modern dance choreographer Martha Graham once said: "The body can not lie". Instinctively we all converse in body language. Noticing the meaning of certain position, gestures, expressions and involuntary knee jerking and leg twitching requires some observation skills. Yet because body language is inborn, even in animals, learning more about it is just a re-affirmation of what your own body and its subconscious mind already knows. Body language is hidden in the genes.
To check up on your awareness of your date's body language, ask yourself the following six questions.
1. The Eyes. Concentrate on the eyes, where do they focus? Are they evasive, looking away or wide open, making friendly eye contact with you?
2. Direction. Which direction is your date facing? A are you sitting side by side, each facing your own way like equal buddies? Or is your date facing you in opposition?
3. Openness. Is your date's posture and position open, welcoming, assertive and approachable or closed up, frightened and introvert?
4. Twitching. Does your date have involuntary twitches, like aimless foot kicking or leg twitching without being aware of it? Or chewing on the fingers or nails? Or other irritating unconscious habits?
5. Honesty. Does your date's body language agree or contradict what the person is saying? Like the politician who says: "We are giving the issue utmost priority!" sitting cross-legged inadvertently kicking the issue away with the twitch of a kicking foot.
6. Compatibility. And finally, does the date's body language synchronize with your own, or do they move in opposition, against your positions, directions faced, and movements?
How Compatible Is Your Date?
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Who is Wearing the Pants?
Confidence Versus Shyness
Someone who feels good in their body, is confident, open, well centered and physically balanced, is more likely to be good potential for a possible future relationship. If, on the other hand, the date is shy, introvert, sits all hunched up, looking beaten down and afraid of life, perhaps that date is a no-no. Of course there are extreme cases at both ends of the spectrum. A loud-mouthed, over-confident, boasting date with an almost violent style body language will, in the long run, probably turn out to become a control freak. A shy person, on the other hand, may have some characteristic treasures in store yet to be discovered. The fine nuances to look for may be found by looking at how someone uses their personal space.
Your Personal Space
You may believe that a person's body occupies the amount of space it needs from head to toe and as far as the limbs can reach out into space, but it does not stop there. Although that space is fixed by the size of the body and could be measured with a ruler, as soon as you begin to move and act, so your personal space also begins to change and grow or shrink according to how you behave in various circumstances. So while you are studying your date's body language, be well aware of your own. Let us look closer at your personal space, sometimes called the aura.
The aura is personal space around the body. We use it all the time when moving, breathing, speaking, shouting or jumping, or relaxing. The aura may project itself far beyond the limits of the physical body itself. It can change in size and density.
You may act big or small and you can, to a certain degree, control who or what enters or has an influence on your personal space, the aura. Expanding your aura involves projecting energy coming from the gut: the whole body, heart and soul. The allure of great actors and the grace of dancers depend on this. You too can expand your aura, grow from within to discover and express your personality. The aura is used either to enhance a statement you feel is important, or to protect yourself from harm. To experience this for yourself imagine the two extremes of your body:
- huddle up into a little ball in fright, in the corner of a small dark room.
- take a huge jump in the air with your legs and arms wide open in a star shape.
Somewhere in between, your choice can be applied to every day situations.
For example, whenever standing in an airport queue, why not take a strong, outward growing aura? When really bored, you may even physically imagine taking grands jetés across the diagonal of the giant check-in hall. It sure keeps the queue crowd at a respectable distance.Try it, play with your aura. It's a real fun way to pass waiting time!
Body Language is Communication
Body language is a two-way process. Just as in a verbal conversation, much of your date's body language is a direct response to your own behavior. Here is a chance to communicate on a nonverbal level that reaches your date's subconscious mind. If your own aura is set to block out messages, then however hard your date is trying, his or her messages won't come across. You, the receiving end, can learn how to be open and welcoming, how to throw off all unnecessary baggage and barriers. Then, your mutual body language interaction becomes a true and honest conversation. In other words, neither be too shy nor too pushy; listen and look attentively.
Do not fake it. Many public figures trained in good body language come across as fake. With motionless hands, unblinking eyes, botoxed frowns, and fast speaking lips, they seem robotic, almost as unreal as victims of plastic surgery.
Want To Learn The Basics?
Advanced Body Language - Nonverbal Communication Skills for Greater Understanding is an interesting and helpful dynamic DVD Training Video by Director Michael Jeffreys featuring Bill Acheson.
Format: Dolby, Widescreen, NTSC
Number of discs: 1
Studio: Seminars on DVD
DVD Release Date: November 1, 2009
Run Time: 75 minutes
Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #141,293 in Movies & TV (See Top 100 in Movies & TV)
What Not to do on a Date
Dating Etiquette and Timing
And finally, without respecting plain ordinary dating etiquette, you won't be asked to date again.
So what is dating etiquette?
- Focus on your date without distraction.
- Listen to what your partner is saying.
- When a thought pops up in your head, do not interrupt.
- Store your thought until they finish saying what they want to say and listen.
Often the thought you had in mind is no longer relevant by the time your interlocutor has finished speaking. Listening and timing is crucial in effectively interacting with a date.
How to Read Your Date's Body Language involves awareness of your own body language. Foot kicking and leg twitching and other such involuntary behavior can easily be spotted. In this process we can become aware of our own twitches an eliminate those. Follow good etiquette for a successful dating experience. And lastly, the aura is a great asset in body language. The aura is the spotlight on your personality.
What Have You Experienced?
Have YOU dated someone whose body language obviously contradicted their story? Tell us in a comment.
© 2016 JULIETTE KANDO - You may link to this article, but you may Not copy it. Copied content will be reported with a DMCA notice and will be removed.