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Rebuilding a Relationship After Cheating

Updated on October 23, 2012

Rebuilding a relationship after cheating is a very complex, difficult, and time consuming thing to do. And in many cases, it just won't work. It is very common that the partner who has been cheated on just can't move past all the hurt and pain. If both parties are committed to try to make the relationship work after infidelity, then they both need to understand the challenging task ahead of them.

The path will be different for the partner who cheated than for the partner who was cheated on though there are some things that both partners will feel, such as pain and betrayal. If you are the one who has cheated and you want to stay in the relationship, the first thing you need to do is to be very honest with yourself. Make sure that you really want to stay and you are not just reacting out of guilt.

A common mistake that people make after they have cheated on their partner is to let guilt guide their actions and stay in the relationship to 'make it up' to their partner. That is one of the worst things you can do. Why? Because unless you are truly in love with your partner and committed to rebuilding your relationship, it's likely that whatever factors led you to cheat in the first place will very likely lead you to cheating again. This will end up hurting your partner a second time.

Have you ever bothered to ask yourself why do men cheat? If you have cheated on your partner and you have honestly thought about the reasons you want to stay in the relationship and you realize that you made a mistake when you cheated and that you still love your partner and can be faithful from this point on, then you have a challenge of making your partner to believe that you will not be unfaithful again.

The first thing you have to do is make a sincere apology for the pain you caused. And do not think you will only have to make apology, but you will do all that it takes to heal your relationship. The healing of your relationship will take time.

You also have to understand that even if your partner says he/she wants to work on the relationship, it may be impossible for him/her to have full trust on you again. Do not think that just because your partner forgave you he/she is really going to trust you again. And even though your partner said he/she forgave you, he/she may still throw your infidelity back in your face. While you might think that it is unfair, he/she may be bearing so much hurt that it will never go away completely and sometimes it just gets out of control.

Attempts of rebuilding a relationship after cheating are not going to be easy. It will take time, love, patience and the full commitment of both parties. If you've been unfaithful, just make sure that you are willing to deal with all the ramifications of your actions before you ask your partner to stay with you and work it out.

What are your thoughts on how to rebuild a relationship after cheating?


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    • Nyamache profile image

      Joshua Nyamache 5 years ago from Kenya

      @kenneth avery, thank you for voting me and appreciating this hub.

    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hey, Nyamache,

      Great hub here. Voted up and away on this. You presented a touchy subject with a lot of tact and diplomacy. Great going.