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How to Recover After a Devastating Breakup

Updated on August 11, 2017

Breakups are painful and messy. They shake your core and change you permanently. Whether you have been cheated on, left behind or broken up with amicably, there's no easy way getting over that person who broke your heart. There's no formula, magic spell or anything that will help you move on in a short period of time. Grieving is always a part of any breakup. Without it, you will only carry the pain in your future relationships and it will only taint your heart.

As what other people used to say, the only way to truly heal after any breakup is by not having a rebound or finding someone new but by taking your time to think things over, grieve and let yourself truly heal and let go of the past and the pain associated with the breakup.

People have different ways of dealing with breakups but here are some of the effective ways that you can try to feel better after a devastating breakup.

  1. Grieve - This is part of the healing process and there's nothing wrong with crying. You have to grieve for the person you have lost and you are only human to feel pain. You have to give yourself a timeline like a week or two for grieving as crying for a very long period of time will slow down your healing.
  2. Write - This is said to have therapeutic effects. You can write down everything you want to say to your ex (but don't send it), things you hate about him/her and what's wrong about your relationship.
  3. Find a new hobby - This will help you take your mind off your ex. Instead of thinking about him/her, you can deviate your time and attention to activities you like doing (like baking, cooking, reading books, learning a new language, learning how to surf, etc). This will also prevent you from reaching out to your ex.
  4. Reconnect with friends and meet new friends - You can meet your friends you haven't met for a long time and have new ones who you enjoy spending time with. This will give you validation that even though your ex left you or chose someone else, there are other people who enjoy your company and you don't have to change a thing about yourself. There are people who appreciate your presence and you will begin to realize that life is so much better to spend with people who love and care for you.
  5. Attain your biggest dreams - After the breakup, you have so much spare time to allot to activities that you've been wanting to do. You can focus on working out, blogging, taking a Master's degree, embarking on a new adventure and many other things.
  6. Forgive and accept - The last stage of moving on and the hardest thing to do in the healing process. You have to forgive your ex for hurting you and yourself for your mistakes. You also have to accept that there are some things that are not meant for you and it's okay. You have to accept that your relationship with your ex has ended and that you are meant for something or someone better than what you have lost.

You can always win your breakup by not seeking revenge to inflict the pain that you have experienced but to use the pain that you have felt to change your life, to be the right person and everything else will follow. Have faith, courage and kindness.


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    • Clair Waldorf profile imageAUTHOR

      Clair Waldorf 

      17 months ago

      Thank you so much June, I'm extremely humbled by your comment :)

    • June Liandra profile image

      June Liandra 

      17 months ago from State of Wyoming

      I showed my sister's friend who's dealing with a breakup and she's coping positively ever since, you need more subscribers!

    • GreatSword23 profile image


      17 months ago from Belgium

      Ahhh, I remember the time I had my first break up, I didnt go to school for more than 2 weeks, I failed some class, it could have been worse, good thing she was in another college, I was able to move on and the future seems a bit brighter, great hub!

    • PazAndrade profile image

      Paz Andrade 

      17 months ago from Spain

      I used to think of my ex after he broke up with me, but keeping myself busy with other things and not having him around anymore made it easier to deal with his absence in my life, another great hub, cheers!


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