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How to Resist a Man's Friendzone

Updated on September 16, 2017
Mary Florence profile image

Mary Florence has been a freelance writer for over 5 years and she enjoys writing articles on general topics.

Say no to his friendy offer.Thanks but no thanks sir

Everyone hates the friendzone. If you want to be his woman you must reject any of his attempts to place you in the friendzone. If your eyes are focused on being his woman do not settle for less.

But you also do not want to seem aggressive or desperate by being too open enough to tell him exactly what you want.Some men will act indifferent towards a woman with such a daring approach. But I've heard of some that do not mind and might even be turned on by a woman initiating the dating process. However, we want to take it slowly. Firstly, being rejected and getting thrown back into the friendzone we are trying to run from is painful. Secondly, you do not want the man to detest you. So the only chance is to prowl, prowl then pounce!

Let us go through the tips;

Do not have high expectations about your strategy

There are several reasons why a man will keep a woman at the friendzone including the fact that he is not attracted to her enough to want to date her. It does not mean that she is not beautiful enough. She could be the most beautiful woman in the world but he does not feel an attraction towards her. People cannot help how they feel. You either are attracted to someone or you are not. And so if you try everything to draw a man towards you but you fail do not feel disheartened. It's better to be single than to be with someone who dated you just because he did not want to hurt you. I guess.

Do not get obsessed

If you get obsessed with him you will annoy him and push him even further. Do not stalk him either. Be in your usual demeanor.

Do not listen to his stories about the women he is really attracted to

That is the first sign that you are friendzone-material. Never ever sit down to listen to him talk to you about other women. Do not allow him to confide in you as if you are just a friend. Put that off immediately.Let him find other impartial friends who do not have a hidden agenda. If you are ever going to talk to this man about a woman, the woman better be you or there's no discussion. Sit down to talk about serious issues about the two of you not about himself and other women. As soon as he starts narrating such stories just know he wants to gently put you in the friendzone. Do not let him. Change the topic and introduce a different story. If he notices and asks you why you are changing the topic that's the perfect time to tell him that you cannot discuss his women with him because you do not want to be in a friendzone his. Tell him that teasingly. Make him imagine that you are joking. But you know know you are serious.

Tell him stories about the men in your life

Even the imaginary ones. If he will listen keep up with the stories until he realises that you are dateable. The more you keep silent about your love life the more he sees you as one of his guys. He really does not believe that anyone can date you.

Touch him

Do it subtly. Let him see you as a woman and not as one of his boys. Make him wonder. A man can never touch a woman he has friendzoned. He wants to keep some distance. He does not want her to imagine that they are dating. He does not want to send mixed signals. So hug then kiss him on the cheek. He is trying to push you away but you are drawing closer so gradually that he cannot notice. Confuse him. If he likes you he will keep your company if your touch puts him off he will start avoiding you and that's okay.Being avoided is way better than being in the friendzone, trust me.

Flirt with him

In undertones. Just drop in one word. Or a sentence. Then fall back into your usual self immediately. He needs to dream about something you said. He doesn't see you as someone he would date so that's not the right person to act Virgin Mary with. Allow him to see you as someone who can be sexually desired. The reason why he talks to you as if you were one of his boys is because he feels comfortable with you. Shift that. Make him feel uncomfortable. Make him think. If he likes that side of you he will want to listen to you more.

Dress like someone who cannot be friendzoned

The 'friendzonees' have typical dressing styles.They dress up in dull clothes as if they were one of the guys. Flaunt your feminity. Dress up properly. Show off your curves. Change your hairstyle. You probably are the type that doesn't do anything to impress men but for now you are stuck between being a girlfriend and being in the friendzone. Put in some effort. We definitely do not want to end up in the friendzone, do we?

Go Missing

Disappear from his life - for a while. Being available all the time is the reason why he takes you for granted. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Do not communicate with him during your absence. Let him see you hanging out with other people. Give him a chance to miss you. Come back to him with stories about other men. If he seems jealous then that means the plan is working. Shock him into believing that you want to put him in a friendzone while you know you know you cannot and will never friendzone him.

Ask him out

If the above do not work then seems you have to take the bull by its horns and do the one thing no woman ever wants to do -ask him if he would like to go out. If he is reluctant tell him to take you out when he is ready and that if he wants to chit chat you let him know you will not be available for that because you do not want to be in anyone's friendzone. Do not act like you are scared of how he would react. Let him react as he wishes. As we have said above, him avoiding you is better than being in the friendzone. There's nothing worse than being friendzoned by a man you like. Nothing.

By now he knows you want him but if he's still pushing you into the friendzone just surrender and find yourself someone who wants you. You have tried your best but everything has an ending, just let it go.


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    • Mary Florence profile image

      Mary Florence 6 months ago

      Very correct. Although women did not invent the friend zone. My gender has been in it for ages because we had and still have to wait until the man asked (asks) us out and or he did he will be destined to be what we call the "crush" today. And that's what we want to break out from although most men are still turned off by women who make an obvious approach. That's a sure way to get the "Ew.Gross..." retort.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 6 months ago

      As you stated no one wants to be in the "friend zone".

      "If your eyes are focused on being his woman do not settle for less." Unfortunately that will be up to him.

      Either be his friend or stay out of his life might the only options available. If a woman is not a guy's type nothing she does is going to really change that unless she considers being a "booty call" or in a "friends with benefits" to be a promotion.

      There are lots of guys who will pick "low hanging fruit".

      I've never bought into the philosophy of becoming friends first and developing a relationship after.

      My theory is if someone thinks you're "hot" they're not going to risk leaving you on the "open market" for very long.

      There is no such thing as being "exclusive friends".

      Any guy who is beyond being a teenager will ask a woman out who he is attracted to and attempt to kiss her or make a move.

      Truth be told it was women who invented the "friend zone". Guys generally don't ask women out and spend money on them unless they're (physically attracted) to them. Some guys who lack the courage to hit on a woman will play the "friend card" hoping one day to hookup with her. Essentially voluntarily placing himself in her "friend zone".

      Every woman knows a guy who has a crush on her who will change her tire, run errands for her, pay for her drinks, or help her with a variety of things without her ever kissing him.

      She tells the world that they're great platonic friends.

      However deep down she knows if she called him to her place and said she wanted to have sex he (wouldn't) say:

      "Ew! Gross! You're like a sister to me!"

      Anyone who calls you a friend is saying: "You are NOT the one!"