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How to Spice Your Relationship, Keep the Fire Burning and Get your Groove Back

Updated on June 13, 2020
Debbie kings profile image

Deborah is a public speaker and counselor on relationship talk group. Her experience with singles and married inspired this writeup. Enjoy

What Are Relationship Goals?

The goal of every relationship is to have the never ending feeling of love, attention, romance and care.
The goal of every relationship is to have the never ending feeling of love, attention, romance and care. | Source

The goal of every relationship is to continue to have that love, romance, attention, care etc lasting forever; never ending, but this is not always the case.

A time comes in every relationship where there's an obvious change from the perceived norm; the all rosey lovey dovey, description of the law of diminishing returns or that of marginal utility in our darling economics comes to play.

You know what? How this change of event is handled matters a lot. These changes should not be held trivial or managed with a lofty spirit. It might result to a complete loss of some "would have been great" relationship.

Some of these changes are signs that you need to take note of and not overlook at all and they include;

Would You Date Yourself If You Look Like This on Your First Date?

Appearance Matter a lot in relationship, dress the way you want to be addressed
Appearance Matter a lot in relationship, dress the way you want to be addressed | Source

Change in Body Image

This arises when you no longer care about your looks or are unbothered about what your partner feels about those extra flesh you are adding, overlooking the need to cut your diet when necessary. Even when you take note, you end up compensating yourself saying " your partner loves you the way you are". That is an erroneous impression my dear. They didn't see this new you that you expect them to accept before they either approached you or accepted your proposal.

Please burn down those extra calories, do away with the belly fat and eat healthily, don't force your partner out with this attitude.

Change in Hygiene

This is one of the changes that keeps the fire in relationship out. This happens when you no longer care about your personal hygiene and neglect those things that you know he/ she loves about you. You get so comfortable and you no longer see the need of properly brushing your teeth and arranging your undies in the right place. You stay unkempt with hairs and beards everywhere you call yourself " beard gangs". What's worst is that you don't take your bath as often as you used to at the early stage. These are a total turn off sweethearts.

Ask yourself, would you date yourself if you appeared this way at the first date? Stop all such acts and take good care of yourself. If you don't have fashionable clothes, ensure the ones you have are cleaned and properly ironed. Appear smart, neat and clean to your partner. Your partner wouldn't have come for you if he/ she had seen you like this at first clean.

Change in walking

I know most of you would wonder why this change? How does it affect my relationship? But dears, I tell you it sure does As a lady, you have to walk like one and as a guy, you should do same. If you don't know how to catwalk don't forget that cat is not the only animal that can walk, just pick the one that suits you. The elephant walks, the hippo, even the dog too has its unique walking comportment. Have a stride that you are confident in, set your own trend and you will bring back the glow you once had.

Change In couple time

This is another sign to look out for which you shouldn't take for granted. When you notice you no longer spend quality time together, " quality " simply means time you talked about your goals, dreams, achievement, go out on dates, plays and lots more. You see yourself so busy and using the kids, chores and work as excuse. You need to relax and look at where your relationship is heading with all this happenings. Set time for yourself to curb this change, and it will do great good than harm.
With all this said, let's move on to the reason why you are still reading this piece from me, which is;

Set time to go on Dates together

Have couple time together, without any distractions or third party
Have couple time together, without any distractions or third party | Source

How to spice your relationship to keep the fire burning and get your groove back.

The first thing on my list is:


Yeah, this is the first on my list, because it's one of the major challenges facing relationships, which is the inability to press towards their goals. Partners tend to relent in the long run or even get distracted. As partners, be determined to achieve certain goals, because it's the voyage to happiness in relationship. If you want to change the routine in your relationship, set goals on how to achieve this and don't get distracted from it. Remember, where there's a will, there's always a way dear.

Define your relationship

It's reasonable to define your relationship before getting involved, if it's short-term, long-term or forever, you should know from the onset. Don't start what you can't finish. You should know what you are working towards and save yourself from unnecessary stress by trying to fix it up, when you know it will lead no way. To avoid wasted effort, ensure you define your relationship.

Reliability/ Trust

This is another feature you should consider when spicing your relationship. If as an individual you can't say something and mean it, what will be the outcome when you eventually partner with someone? Reliability breeds trust lovelies. When you're reliable, your partner will welcome anything you say or set to do, because you mean every words and actions and they trust your judgement.

Love, care and attention Shouldn't be left out

Show maximum Love, care and attention to your partner.
Show maximum Love, care and attention to your partner. | Source

Do away with monotony

The saying variety is the spice of life can be seen as true and reasonable. It's also an embellished truth that monotony dismount interests in relationship. If you really want to get the groove back in your relationship, don't be monotonous. Sometimes, be unpredictable, learn new ways of doing things such as cooking, fashions, birthday surprises, anniversary surprises. Don't allow your partner know your every move. Be unpredictable, surprise is the key.

Everything matters

Don't take each other for granted and don't overlook anything. There will always be times when you get too familiar with your partner and you'll want to overlook certain things and start taking them for granted, the advice from me is that you don't give in to such temptation. You should always bear in mind the likes and dislikes of each other, in commitment to your responsibility to each other.

Give each other maximum Love and Attention

When you were still single you had everything to yourself and you only think about how to please yourself, you can spend time chatting with friends and surfing the net, no one will be hurt or feel neglected. But now you are no longer single, it's time to put down your electronic gadget ( iPhones, iPads, laptops ) and get off social media just to spend quality time together.

Say No to Monotony, be Unpredictable.

Don't allow your partner know your every move... Surprise is the key!
Don't allow your partner know your every move... Surprise is the key! | Source

Show continuous love and affection

A woman's greatest need is care and affection. Ensure you show them more of this. You can do this privately or publicly. Choose what suits you guys. For guys, affection isn't at the top of a man's priority list, because men often sees romance and affection as one.

Other ways you can spice your relationship includes the following:

Have crazy adventures together

The bedroom shouldn't be the only place for romance, be creative.

Go on a surprise date with your partner, don't wait till it's their birthday, anniversary or promotion at work place.

See a movie together.

Be adventurous and try new things

Don't bee too rigid, try crazy and funfilled adventures together.
Don't bee too rigid, try crazy and funfilled adventures together. | Source
  • Help in house chores and go out to eat sometimes to save her the stress of cooking after a hectic day at work.
  • Get them surprised gifts. Something you know they like or might have admired.
  • Try new bedroom technique that is good for you.

Finally dears, if after doing all of these, yet you feel it's not working, I'll advise you seek help from a professional or even go for counseling. No relationship is perfect dears, when necessary efforts are made it can work out with both of you. Break-up, splits, spacing and divorce is never an option, it will all get better. The most important of all, ensure you create time to talk, talk and talk about it.

Looking for a tip? Go for what suits you or you can see a movie together

See a movie together
See a movie together | Source

Kindly answer the question below to help me assess the impact of this hub. Thanks in advance. Was this article helpful?

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© 2020 Okoro Deborah


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