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Is He Good Enough OR How To Spot A Loser

Updated on August 8, 2015

The things you should know to avoid going there again

Let’s call a spade a spade. You’re single, a little nervous about it, and looking for love. You want a good guy who will treat you with respect, enhance your life in all ways and contribute positively to your well-being. So why aren’t you getting him?

It could be that you are letting in the wrong people. Although personal preference will always lead you to overlook certain shortcomings in a man you consider desirable, there are certain universal common sense non-negotiables all women should abide by to avoid disastrous relationships. Consider the following.

Why these guys will never do

Avoid men who exhibit the following characteristics/traits/life situations and combinations of:

You do need to ask yourself why it is so. Good stock will always out; if the guy’s over 40 and has never been married and/or procreated, there is a reason for it and it’s not good news. Do not be the one woman to take a chance on this; there have been others before you on this path and they ran like hell. Do likewise.

  • Single parent with multiple offspring from multiple relationships

You’re asking for trouble here. The dude has too much on his plate to pay any attention to you; most likely he’ll need a lot of support from you, beginning with finances and ending with never-ending housework. (See what I just did there?)

P.S. Beware: Children from such complicated households are bound to have issues, some of which you will have to deal with.

  • An older man who will date only a much younger woman

If you’re invited on a date with a man twenty years older than you, decline. No good will come of it unless you’re comfortable with being the ‘trophy wife’. If you are, there’s nothing to be ashamed of as long as you know how to keep up your end of the bargain; you need to remain pretty and he needs to have money in order for you to remain pretty.

P.S. Dating an older man without money is simply so unspeakably stupid that we will not speak of it here.

  • Mental patients all and sundry

It sounds harsh I know BUT… do yourself a favour and stay away from people with mental issues. Once the bloom is off the rose and you find yourself with a household, kids and the harsh realities of supporting a family in today’s competitive world, you’ll need all hands on board to make it, so why put yourself knowingly in a vulnerable position if you don’t have to.

  • Men who are hung up on past relationships

If he brings up an ex-girlfriend during your first dinner and spends some passionate time talking about her, he’s not the one for you. He’s still invested in the old relationship and it’s an uphill battle for you from the word get go. You deserve better than to be a sounding board with benefits, which is exactly what you will become if you start a relationship with a guy who’s not ‘over it’.

  • Men who are much, much younger than you

Nine times out of ten the dude will have an ulterior motive for wanting to be with you. Whatever the reason, it will be to his advantage in form of financial support, a home, free holiday or career advancement, so don’t flatter yourselves, ladies. It isn’t your sweet, gorgeous, mature self he’s altruistically after. The one time out of ten he’s genuinely interested will prove him inadequate, mentally deranged and/or psychologically scarred and the result of a horrible, deprived childhood. Nobody wants to ‘be’ with their ‘mummy’ unless they’re mental.

This is perhaps the most serious sign of inadequacy; if the guy can’t get a girl in his own backyard, it’s a big red flag. There is something wrong with him as he is unable to engage with the opposite sex on equal terms.

And finally, Dating No-Nos which need no explanation but merit a mention include:

  • Men without a steady income
  • Men who are married to someone else
  • Men who live with their mother past the age of 30
  • Men who live with their ex-wife full stop no excuse
  • Men who have restraining orders against them
  • Men who do not pay child support
  • Men who run Scouts clubs
  • Men who show interest in children other than their own
  • Convicted felons
  • Alcoholics and druggies
  • Men who wear wigs and/or women’s clothes
  • Men who watch reality tv
  • Men who play air guitar in public places
  • Men who knit, crotchet and decoupage
  • Men who spend time on the internet in the dead of night, and finally
  • Men who have a dungeon

P.S. Okay, the probability of running into a Man Who Has a Dungeon is very low but keep an eye out nonetheless, ladies. If you get invited to view somebody’s cellar on your first and/or subsequent dates, decline, pick up your handbag and run!

With this in mind… Happy dating, girls!

P.S. Just before you go, consider answering the following question.

Taking into account the above, women who date these types are in need of:

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