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How to Tell If He's Cheating: Beyond the Obvious Signs

Updated on August 21, 2015

Maybe He's A Cheater...

Before I even finish writing this, I want to take the time to say that not all men are cheaters. There are some amazing, faithful guys out there. This isn't a man bashing article in any way. Along with those wonderful, faithful men though, there are also the lying little cheaters that are going to be over at Amanda's house while you're at work.

Nowadays, though, it seems like men are more clever about it than they used to be. More often than not, you won't see bright red lipstick on his collar. There will be no mysterious bobby pin lost in the sheets. I, personally, think it's because too many girls are ready and willing to be a side chick, but that's a whole separate article. The question then arises: how the hell do you know if he's cheating? You can ask, but he'll probably just call you insecure and reassure you that he loves you. So, what do you do? Check out these tips to figure it out.

Trust Your Gut

There is one small catch to this. First, ask yourself if you really are feeling insecure or scared. If you are, it can seriously mess up that gut feeling. If you aren't though, that gut feeling is more than likely spot on. I say more than likely because there may be some female whose gut feeling has led them down the wrong road. Personally, though, it's never happened to me.

He Hides You On Social Media

Some men will be quick to claim that they are "private" people, or, better yet, "social media ruins relationships." There is a fine line between being private and hiding a relationship, though. If he has had other girlfriends on his page, yet has you blocked, there's a problem. You will also see that when you comment on things, he will "like" it, but won't respond. That's so he can tell the other girl that he can't control what you say, see how he didn't even say anything back? Whether you like to admit it or not, you know whether he's being a private person or whether he's cheating.

Make a new profile, with a new name, and a profile picture of a half naked girl. Then, send him a friend request and see what happens. I know, it's a little on the stalkerish side (ok, alot), but it'll show you what he's hiding and give you peace of mind.

He's Overprotective With His Phone

Millions of people have lock codes on their phones. They take their phones with them, and their phones seem to be attached to their hand or hip. Unfortunately, that is the modern world that we live in today. Guys that cheat take that to a whole new level though. Having a lock code that takes them two minutes to put in, taking the phone with them into the bathroom when they shower, and sleeping with it under the pillow or in their pocket is a bit excessive. Guys that may have something to hide make sure to delete their messages too. Want to know if you're right on your suspicions with his phone?

Here's a few ways to check:

  • Say that yours was shut off, you left at your house, etc. and can you make a call on his? Then see how he acts, and if he hesitates.
  • You can do the same thing with Facebook.
  • If you get into his phone, check his call log. Guys will delete messages and forget their call log. If he's talking to the same number every night for hours after you leave, that might be a tip.

He Puts His Phone On Airplane Mode

When you put your phone on airplane mode, it doesn't matter who's using it, they won't see notifications when a text or call comes through.

His Friends...

His friends are a dead give away. First of all, if he's always hanging out with them, but you have yet to meet or see any of them, even though the two of you have been together months, that might say something. If he has more friends that are of the female gender than most girls you know, that says something too, particularly if you haven't met them either. I don't know why, but it seems that men with more female friends tend to cheat more. Something to think about ladies...

His Shady Behavior

You can tell if a man is up to no good or not, more often than not, by his own shady behavior. Here are some examples of said shady behavior:

  • He has a "vault" app or something similar on his phone
  • Text messages are saved in a separate folder
  • He randomly disappears, taking hours to text you back
  • You've come to expect that he'll basically fall off the world, and you won't hear from him for days
  • Phone number are often saved under nicknames or not saved at all

He Has That Guilty Conscience

We've all heard that little myth, that guys who are cheating will accuse their girls of cheating. Well, I hate to say it, but it's true at times. If you're more than faithful to your boyfriend, have never cheated or given him a single reason to not trust you, suspect that he may be cheating and all of the sudden he accuses you of cheating to the point he's pointing it out when your trip to the store took five minutes longer than it usually does, you have to accept the fact that he may have a guilty conscience.

All The Little Signs Point To "He's A Cheater"

Some people really do take their phone everywhere with them, including the shower. Other people really do not post anything pertaining to their relationship on Facebook. If your guy is crossing the line with it all though, you'll be able to see it. Maybe the phone in the shower makes sense. Maybe the social media thing makes sense. If your guy has been doing the whole list though, it's time to wake up princess. He may be cheating.

Do You Want To Catch Him?

I don't know about other girls, but some women like to have that proof. Then, when they ask him about Amanda, and he denies it, they can come back with that BAM of "what about this then?"

I always ask because, somewhere, deep down, I want to believe that there is a good, amazing person inside of everyone. I want them to just look at me and say "Yeah, I was. Let's work through this." Or maybe they could just say that it isn't working out. Either way, I want honesty. Getting that honesty, though, is a whole separate ball game. I don't expect it anymore, though.

Something to think about though: if you're going through his phone, your relationship already has problems anyway.

How To Catch Your Boyfriend Cheating

Just take a little bit and put some thought into it. Many companies offer services that can be used to keep your children safe. ATT offers the GPS option on family plans so you can see where your child is. Keylogger offers a free seven day trial where you can view each keystroke that is typed on the computer, including passwords and screenshots. Seriously, take some time and google it. You'd be amazed at the tools that are out there. Many of these same websites and products contain a reminder that these are products designed for use on your children. etc. and that certain things are illegal, like hacking someone's Facebook. I recently saw a post on of someone posting a job to hack into someone else's facebook. Keep in mind I am not encouraging or condoning any type of illegal activity or misuse of products intended to keep children safe. Those are simply examples of the types of products and services that are out there.


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    • dashingscorpio profile image


      3 years ago

      If you don't trust someone it doesn't matter whether or not you can "prove" they are cheating. The relationship stops progressing.

      Know yourself, Love yourself, Trust yourself.

      If something doesn't (feel right to you) it's probably not right for you!

      Unless you are someone who has always been irrationally paranoid and untrusting of people there is no reason to doubt your instincts.

      Most people suspect cheating when they observe major changes in their mate's behavior which they dislike. If they were able to confirm he/she was NOT cheating and those behaviors remained it is unlikely they'd jump for joy!

      It's your ego that wants to prove to them you can't be "outsmarted" which motivates you to want to "catch them". The reality is if cheating is a "deal breaker" for you then there is nothing they can say that would cause you to stay with them. Life is also too short to be involved with someone you don't trust! Thankfully there are over 7 Billion people on this planet. Move on!

      One man's opinion!:)

    • profile image


      3 years ago ..... cheating in style :)


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