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How to Tell if You are Being Ignored Online

Updated on June 1, 2013

The internet is a large, vast place. Once just a repository for information and the trading of such, as soon as the first BBS showed up to allow direct conversations between the people that are sharing, the internet became a place to talk and discuss about that sharing. It didn’t take long before people began to share interests, ideas, and personal stories.

This led to the building up of communities around similar interests or the debating of such. Friendship (and even more) formed out of these. Some people actually have fostered years long close friendships from such interaction. So it is no surprise that with the ever expanding internet that more comminutes are created and with them relationships.

But with every new relationship, there is a risk that said relationships can go sour. Sometimes you drift apart, sometimes you have a huge disagreement. This is normal in reality and online. In fact I’ve had friends of mine who had to deal with infighting and being avoided by others online. In fact I myself found myself in the situation of being summarily ignored without so much as a ‘why’.

I will say upfront -It sucks to have a close friend to just ditch on you. It sucks when they upfront tell you they don’t want to talk to you. But it seems x10 worse when a friend just decided to ignore you without even a word as to why.

How do you know if you are being ignored online?

Have they suddenly stopped talking to you? And is this out of character for them? I say ‘out of character’ I mean as in ‘hey me and internetdude2345 talk like every day and yet I haven’t heard from him in 2 weeks’ out of character. Now, your friend could be sick, or even have hit hard times – or their pc could have up and died (this has happened to a friend of mine with no other way of contact!).

But do they clearly log on under names you know are theirs or post things yet never acknowledge you? They may be ignoring you.

Are your online messages never answered?

Do they never reply to your direct messages yet are replying to others? Can you see in a group chat room them talking and speaking to others? Can you see on a social networking site that by time stamps alone that they are present and available but simply talk as if you aren’t there? Then you may be being ignored.

Are your online accounts and profiles being blocked by a friend?

This is easy to find out on most profiles. For example on Deviant Art (or dA for short) the blocked user can visit the blockee’s page but cannot post or leave any messages on their profile, works any journals. You can still see their overall works.

On Facebook you cannot talk to a blocked user basically putting you at the level of a stranger or non-friend. Depending on their page settings you can’t so much as even see what they posted. This could work in your favor as many users don’t tinker with their privacy settings so you can still see posts that could or could not clear up the reason why you were blocked*.

Many chat services like AIM and Skype simply sent you an in chat notification**.

*This is why I suggest to never post really personal and or incriminating things on your Facebook wall or on Facebook at all.

**Chat programs save your conversations as well. My first note applies to here too.

What are the reasons that your friend may have to ignore you?

Are you in the wrong or are they? Think to any conversations that you two may have had. Think on things posts, statements made, or things as simple as things you reposted on your wall. A close friend of mine recently was unfriended due to his posts were ideologically against another’s beliefs. This other person saw those posts as a personal attack on themselves and instead of asking more blocked said friend from everything they had spoken on cutting of a lengthy friendship.

Thing was it took the friend to ask others before getting the answer.

Do you in honest want or need to be in contact with a friend that is ignoring you?

It’s one thing if you met someone and over the course of a few months found that they were to be completely agitating to you and talking to them annoys you and you cut them off. This is fine as not everyone likes everyone. But to have someone you consider a friend to do so without so much as a bye (or worse, someone you are romantically attached to doing this) can sting. Greatly.

It’s even tempting to get mutual acquaintances or friends to try to contact them well past the point where they clearly do not wish to talk to you.


Don’t let it get you down more than it has to. It’s very easy to beat yourself up over it blaming yourself especially if you think you did nothing wrong.

It’s also easy to write retaliatory things back. Don’t do this. It’s satisfying but in the end makes you look like you are simply being catty. I admittedly did this – but also knew by then the bridges were burned and things needed to be said before letting them go completely. It you want to hold out hope for them to talk to you again, take the high road.

Sometimes they decide to reestablish contact and talk to you. Sometimes they don’t.

Still the best method in this worst scenario is to simply walk away. Clearly they did not value your friendship or relationship to be upfront and honest with you before ignoring you. So why stay around hoping for an explanation?


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      someone 15 months ago

      Well, whenever I come online or whenever they come online (and I'm already on), they go off right away.

      Two friends of mine have started to do that, and one of them won't reply to my message and instantly log off, and they other one just logs off every time they see me.

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      bettybb 22 months ago

      I feel like most of my Facebook friends are ignoring me. They aren't commenting or "liking" my posts. This is something new. It seems to have happened suddenly, during the past few weeks. Eight people suddenly removed me and the rest are being silent. I don't know what I said that offended them. I don't post about religion, politics, or anything controversial.

      I recently redesigned my business website, which was a huge job, and I mentioned it a couple of times. Perhaps many thought the "tech" topic boring and unfollowed me. I also started FB pages to promote my three websites, and I post updates on them frequently. If they can see what I post on those pages--I'm not sure--perhaps they're either turned off about the topics or think I'm updating too often. I have a graphics site, a supernatural site, and a site with my fiction writing.

      Oh, and one other thing I did--I found out that I'm related to a celebrity and posted about it, because I thought it was interesting. The celebrity had written an article about the family and published it online so I mentioned it and shared a link to the article. Maybe my friends thought I was bragging.

      But, I have no idea. I've been hurt and upset about it. Perhaps I need some new friends.