- Gender and Relationships
How to Tell if You're in Love
What is Love?
How to tell if you're in love. That seems like a pretty simple thing to accomplish. After all, you love somebody or you don't. But wait, do you REALLY know when you're in love? Of course you know you love your mother and your father, or any member of your family. What about this new stranger you've met? Do you love him/her? How can you tell?
Dr. Seuss once said, “You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”
Erich Fromm, in his "The Art of Loving," wrote,"There is hardly any activity, any enterprise, which is started with such tremendous hopes and expectations, and yet, which fails so regularly, as love."
Everyone has different views about love. Songs and poems have been written about love for centuries. So, what exactly is love and how can you tell when you're in love?
If you've ever been in love;
Learning About Love
You've been loved by your parents and your family as I said earlier, in most instances you've returned that love. It came naturally because you were taught to love when loving arms held you as a baby and loving parents cared for you and worried about you as you grew up. I turn again, to this new person. Who is he? Where did he come from? Is he a vital part of your life already?
Perhaps the feelings you have for him are physical. The two of you are really good 'in bed' and enjoy touching and kissing. Is that love or great sex? Only you can tell the difference. Physical attraction is not a bad thing but it doesn't mean you're in love, though people in love do enjoy physical contact in all it's forms. Many teenagers and young people mistake enjoying physical contact for love. Its comforting and it feels good, but its not always love.
Perhaps he treats you really good. That's a step in the right direction. When you're in love you should always put the other person first because you love them. So, someone who is thoughtful towards you and worries about your welfare and happiness may be in love. Is that where you are? Do you think that way about him? Do you want him to be happy and have the things he wants and needs?
Are you comfortable and able to be yourself when you're with this person? No airs or pretending you're someone you're not. You can 'let your hair down' and be yourself. That's a good step towards love.
When you're with him do you think about other guys? Or if you're a guy do you think about other girls? If this person isn't the one you think about all of the time, it may not be love. Why would you be thinking about someone else if you're in love with this special person? No other person is as important to you as this special one. You really enjoy each other's company and like spending time together. It doesn't matter what you're doing as long as you're together. Just walking in the park feels good because you're together, or remembering that terrible downpour you were caught in. You know, the time you both got soaked and laughed so hard. Or when you got lost on your trip and wound up in a totally different town than you planned? You had a great time because you were together. No matter where you are, you're happy to be together. Everything you do together is special because you are together.
The funny thing about love is you really have no control over it. When you 'fall' in love it may not be your choice. Of course you can choose not to pursue your feelings with a person you don't think you'll like but you can't change how you feel. It just happens, you meet someone, spend time with them and before you know it, you're in love or you're wondering if you're in love.
How to Tell If You're In Love
Some things to think about to help you decide if you're in love:
- You get excited when you know you're going to see that special person ... you care
- You always want to look your best for them even though that's not important
- You worry about them and miss them when you're not together ... longing
- Yes, there is passion and physical desire
- You're willing to make a commitment
- You want the world to know you are together
- There is no pressure between you ... understanding
- You are willing to give to them and for them
- You can put up with their idiosyncrasies ... tolerance
- You are compatible
- You understand each other
- You are willing to make sacrifices for them
- You're willing to share the bad times as well as the good times
- You want to hear their voice even if its only a telephone call
Living With Love
Are all these things necessary to be in love? Of course not but the more you can answer yes to, the easier it is to tell you are in love. "I ran up the door, and closed the stairs, said my pajamas and put on my prayers, turned off the bed and hopped into the light, all because you kissed me goodnight"
Love makes us feel differently than we did before, whether we know it or not. It creeps into our hearts and takes up residence. Sometimes love takes us over. We don't think straight or can't concentrate. We just think about our special person and those thoughts drive all others from our mind. We give selflessly to the one we love always putting them first in our lives.
It is the most beautiful thing that can happen to us and if it is true it will last a lifetime. True love grows over the years and makes your life a life worth living and sharing with the one you love. Granted the fluttering heart and monopolizing your brain may not last a lifetime but a new and wonderful feeling does. This special person will always be there for you and you will always be there for them. They will know your ups and downs and when you need them the most. Love yourself and love each other. That will keep your love alive and help it grow.
The famous Katharine Hepburn said, "Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get — only with what you are expecting to give — which is everything."
Copyright Tillsontitan - All Rights Reserved
Read More About Love
- The Best Great Ways to Say I Love You
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- Using Each of the 5 Senses to Say "I Love You" to Your Special Someone
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- Love, Lust, Passion, Commitment - What does Love mean to You?
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