ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

5 Reasons a Guy Might Not Be Interested in You

Updated on January 10, 2020
Santi Salinas profile image

Santiago Salinas is a student at The College of New Jersey pursuing a degree in Public Health, Psychology and Social Justice.

Being Stood Up

Not too long ago, I was supposed to meet a man I met a week ago. It was not a date, but he had offered to treat me to a coffee at the local Dunkin Donuts. We had planned to meet at around 1:00 pm. I arrived about five minutes late and discovered he was not there. I figured he was running late too so I decided to wait for him. About an hour later, still he had not shown up. I texted him asking if he had forgotten about our plans. Another ten minutes had passed and I was still sitting alone sipping on a small ice coffee waiting for a man who clearly was not showing up if he had not texted back saying he had to cancel. As I walked home embarrassed, I came to terms with what had happened, I was stood up by a man who was clearly not interested in me.

Getting stood up is like being stabbed. It hurts in the moment when it happens and when it heals, there will always be a scar there to remind you that there is someone out in the world who did not give you a chance. Many people today think that being stood up is something that only happens in high school when your prom date doesn't knock on your door. After graduating high school, I had the same mentality that people in general would be mature enough to tell you if they were interested in you enough. After being stood up by a man I couldn't help but wonder, are men secretly not interested you but are too afraid to say anything?


The Signs

When we are dating, we both consciously and unconsciously give some of those interested in us signs that we are not interested in them. Some will pick up on it while others won't. If you are on the receiving end of these signs, you should identify them as soon as possible to ensure you won't be blind sided when he doesn't call you back.

His texting habits change- My friend Kelly met a guy on Tinder and they would text constantly. After their first date, the constant texting turned into a text every once in a while. He would always say that he was busy with school work or at his job where he could not text her back. However, this didn't line up with his habits before their date. On a Thursday afternoon before the date, he would send her three messages at a time talking when they were having an interesting conversation. On a Thursday afternoon after the date, he would take about an hour or two to respond. Usually when guys change their texting habits, it is usually a sign that they are losing interest in you. If you notice the conversations you used to have in the past compared to how you're having them now, that can indicate how he truly feels about you.

He's bored when talking to you- When you're in the middle of a conversation, you would normally pay attention to what the other person is saying. However, that is not always the case. If the guy you're seeing seems to be finding ways to distract himself or change the topic of discussion, HE'S NOT LISTENING. It doesn't matter if you're talking about your day at work, about an argument you and your mother had, or asking his opinion on a movie you just saw. He may act interested, but he can't hide the face that he makes. If he looks bored, isn't making eye contact, starts nodding at random moments, or raises his eyebrows to what he thinks are important details to your discussion, chances are he has no idea what you're taking about and he won't bother to ask.

He invites other people to your dates- After the first date, you're really excited to get a call or text from a guy asking if you're available on a Friday night. However, you didn't expect him to bring his friend Kevin with him. When he brings a friend with him on a date, he can't have fun if it's just the two of you. The friend usually acts as the fall back for him to be able to enjoy himself. It's his way of saying to you that he can't have fun with you on your dates and would prefer to bring his friends with him. If you end up being the third wheel on a date, seriously reconsider seeing this guy again.

You are always the one texting him first- If you're blowing up his phone right now, please stop. I have had experiences with men when it came to texting. I was interested in a man back in September who had really bad texting habits. I would always be the one texting him first and waiting hours, sometimes a day, for a response. Eventually I got the notion that this guy wasn't into me and I stopped texting him all together. Texting someone is usually an indication that you're thinking of the person you are texting. If he doesn't reach out to you at least once a week, you're not on his mind.

His excuses don't make sense- We've all had that one excuse that got us out of doing something we don't want to do. Some of these things include dates. When you ask a guy to go with you somewhere, but he says he has work, you don't think about it much. However, when you see he's active on Instagram, it starts to make you wonder. Usually when he makes up an excuse as to why he doesn't want to go on another date with you it can be a sign that something isn't right. Social media is usually the best spot to call him out on his BS. If he says he's at work and a snap goes up saying "Saturday is for the boys!" he's at a different kind of overtime.

Should you be devastated if a guy isn't interested in you? Absolutely not! If someone isn't interested in you, I can guarantee that there is someone who is interested in you out there. It's all part of the dating process. Let's be honest with ourselves, we would probably do the same with someone we weren't interested in. But it's important to remember that the real world isn't high school. It's time for us to be adults and just be honest with the person and gently explain to them that we don't see ourselves being anything more than friends.

© 2020 Santiago Salinas


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)