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What to do When Your Prince of a Husband Appears to have Turned into a Beast

Updated on September 15, 2016
Faith Reaper profile image

Theresa is married to her high school sweetheart. She loves writing of her family and experiences in life.

Start by Looking Deep Within Yourself

File: Illustration at page 201 in Europa's Fairy Book.png Author: Joseph Jacobs 1916 (print date)
File: Illustration at page 201 in Europa's Fairy Book.png Author: Joseph Jacobs 1916 (print date) | Source

"Love suffers long and is kind." ---1 Corinthians 13:4


Yes, Start by Looking at Yourself

What?

You read it right ladies ... please dismiss the desire to stone me here! In reality, we cannot change our man, nor any person for that matter, but we certainly can change ourselves.

As a disclaimer here, I would like to make it perfectly clear, I am not suggesting in any way, shape or form, that any woman stay in an abusive (verbal or physical) relationship! Never, please get out and seek help.

I am reminded of the story of "The Beauty and the Beast" and, yes, the Beast was so outwardly ugly, but maybe he was waiting for somebody to care about him, his true self, the man under the outwardly beast facade. Maybe he was waiting for somebody who saw the good in him, or somebody who valued him, honored him, treasured him, believed in him and, most importantly, respected him. We all need this, do we not? Men especially do in the respect department, for they need to hear it and see it in action. Women need to be cherished and loved.

Remember this beast of a husband, is the same man you married, when, surely, he was never such a beast then, for you would have not married the man. So, what turned the man of your dreams into such beast?

Now, if you knew going into the relationship, he was a beast, then there are other issues at hand here, sadly.

Let us delve deeper into this thought of looking deep within ourselves.


Has Your Prince Been Replaced by a Beast of Sorts?

Beauty and the Beast.jpg Author: Jennie Harbour  8 July 2013
Beauty and the Beast.jpg Author: Jennie Harbour 8 July 2013 | Source

According to Proverbs 14:1:

"Every wise woman builds her house, but a foolish one tears it down with her own hands."

Compassionate and Humble

In 1 Peter 3:8-11, in pertinent part states:

" ...be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.9 Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 10 For, “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech. 11 They must turn from evil and do good; they must seek peace and pursue it."

Now ... Turning Our Focus back on Ourselves


I will be the first to admit that I had to take a good long look at myself, and the Lord revealed to me about my role as a Godly wife to my husband. Prayerfully ask the Lord to allow you to see your husband with new eyes. Maybe you will then be able to see and appreciate the wonderful traits your husband already exhibits. In order for this to happen, sometimes we must refocus our thoughts to even be able to recognize our husband's attempts to be that prince.


In other words, this process takes intentional thought and effort, especially if we have fallen into a negative pattern of thinking, when it comes to our husband. Each marriage is different and certainly no couple is perfect. It you are struggling in your marriage, take it to God in prayer.


News flash: It may just be that your husband desires deep down to be your all, your hero, your knight in shining armor and, therefore, what he needs most is to be respected by you. Honestly, this can be so very difficult when your husband may not know how to love you unconditionally, or maybe he just does not understand you and so on and so on. It may be that you need to ask yourself the same question of whether or not you know how to love him unconditionally.


In our role as the wife, we have a choice to make and we can either build up our marriage or tear it down. We can shape the marriage just by making changes in ourselves. When we build up our husband daily, it helps to grow and create a marriage that can truly last a lifetime.


Whenever I see a woman in public tearing down her husband, it just makes me cringe. However, there is the other aspect of this, when a woman praises her husband in public, then tears him down in private. Obviously, neither scenario is good in helping to build up your husband!


Most times, it is a matter of our heart condition, which needs to be examined. It may be possible that there are some roots of bitterness that have found their way into our heart to contaminate our relationship with our husband. Sometimes it is our very own resentment that gets in the way of our willingness to forgive our husband, and when that is the case, we are unable to encourage him. It may very well be that your husband holds grudges against you and, if so, ask yourself could there be things you need to change. Do you possibly need to ask forgiveness for something?


Love Suffers Long and Is Kind

File: Crane beauty5.jpg Author Walter Crane CC-PD-Mark/PD-Old/PD-Art-US
File: Crane beauty5.jpg Author Walter Crane CC-PD-Mark/PD-Old/PD-Art-US | Source


"She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness ..." --Proverbs 31:26


"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing." ---1 Thessalonians 5:11

What Can You Do to Affirm to Your Husband that He is Your Prince?


It may have been when you were first married that your husband found you to be an attractive person and appreciated you, then possibly due to many circumstances in your marriage that may have changed. So, what can you do as a wife to possibly change this sad reality?


Ask yourself this question: Are you a wise woman? If so, then you open your mouth with wisdom. One of the most powerful things that you, as a wife can do, is blessing your husband simply by encouraging your husband and letting him know you are happy to be his wife and having a voice of gratitude. At times, it can be so hard to hold our tongues when we want to say something negative. Speaking kindly to him with words of genuine encouragement is so powerful.


It may be that your husband has never had a role model(s) in the areas of being gentle, kind or tender, so it is very difficult for him to be such. If your husband is not considerate, just let him know you need his help without complaining and when he does attempt to help, be thankful and tell him so by expressing your gratitude, even if he does not do things your way.


If your husband if faithful and loyal to you, start to praise him for such, thereby helping him to remain true to his commitments and to God.


Sometimes listening can be a huge problem due to our busy schedules and all that we have to do in a single day. It may be that we are quick to comment, without truly hearing our husband's heart. Even if our comment is positive, we still need to learn to be better listeners.


If your husband helps around the house in some way, whatever that may entail, i.e., taking care of the car, fixing things that are broken, running errands or maybe taking care of you when you are sick, be sure to praise him for his willingness to serve others and that you see this as a great strength.


Just exactly what is meant by "completing" him? When we, as wives, are able to set aside our sharp tongue, just maybe our "beast" may be able to calm his temper, and begin seeing what you and he are really like beyond the surface. When this happens, it leads to something deeper. We can empower our husbands when discussing our opinions and ideas with him in a manner that builds his confidence, thereby adding to his ability to understand his family and work needs.


It is most important to be determined in not constantly having a negative attitude toward your husband---as this shows great disrespect, when speaking evil of him to others. Maybe you can think of nothing to respect about your husband. If this is the case, search harder, for every man has something about his character that can be encouraged and respected.


Another area God intends to be vibrant and a regular expression of love is marital intimacy. We should never settle for a passionless marriage. Negatively destroys intimacy, but, again, encouragement builds and strengthens the marriage bond. We can ask the Lord in prayer to make us healthy and whole in this area and free us from wrong thinking, as well as releasing a great desire in us for our husband.


Remember your husband is accountable to God for his spiritual growth and you are accountable to God to encourage and not to hinder that development.


So ... You Are all That ..."Charm Is Deceptive, and Beauty is Fleeting"

1875 WalterCrane illustration from Beauty and the Beast 1875.jpg
1875 WalterCrane illustration from Beauty and the Beast 1875.jpg | Source


"The imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit." ---1 Peter 3:4



As relates to the scripture quoted above:


Now, of course, this does not mean being a doormat and not using your God-given brain and intelligence, but quite the opposite. Why would any man want a doormat? This just means speaking the truth in love, not being so critical of your husband's every effort and taming that sharp tongue to build your husband up and focusing on the positive rather than pointing out the negative to him and the world.


How do you appear to your husband?


Does your inner beauty shine through in the way you conduct yourself and respond to others?


Store-Bought Beauty Verses Inner Beauty


Obviously, there is nothing wrong at all with being attractive physically and trying to stay healthy by eating right, exercising and the like. However, it is important that we understand we do not define ourselves by our outer beauty i.e., the clothes or jewelry we wear. Of course, the sum total of who we are is much more.


Now, on the other hand, there is the issue of when we may dress nice in an attempt to impress our boss at work (professional work attire is appropriate), or even our friends. Sometimes we may dress "Couture" for others, and then once in the presence of our husbands, put on our bargain basement tattered housecoat. Okay, now I am not saying that we should attempt to look gorgeous all of the time for our husbands and feel uncomfortable in our own homes. However, most husbands do appreciate their wives when they try to look attractive just for them, every now and then. Yes, we have a lot on our plates, with taking care of the children, the household and the like, and for those who work outside the home, there is even added pressure in all of these areas.


Having said that, however, our true beauty is not bought at the department store, requiring several trips, or going to the hairstylist and nail salon. Again, there is nothing wrong with being attractive, when our outward person, who everyone sees, is backed up by our internal character. This is who we are at the core of our being. We should take care in making sure our internal beauty takes precedence over our external beauty.


Ask yourself these questions:


Are you trying to be as attractive on the inside as you are on the outside?


How can I become beautiful on the inside?


When a woman wants to please God and become truly alluring to her husband, she must be a woman who is passionate about seeking God and being in His presence, thereby being transformed into a true beauty as is seen through God's eyes.


When this happens, it is a beautiful thing to behold, and your husband will notice such transformation, for you will begin to look at him through God's eyes and see those qualities that were maybe once hidden. You are able to finally give your husband the respect he deserves. This is a win-win for all concerned; you, your husband and your family.


He Is Not so Bad, Is He?

Anne Anderson05.jpg (1874 - 1931) CC-PD-Mark
Anne Anderson05.jpg (1874 - 1931) CC-PD-Mark | Source

"The heart of her husband trusts in her and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life." ---Proverb 31: 11-12


Building Up Your Husband


  • Pray daily.
  • Speak truth.
  • Love always.
  • Honor him.
  • Choose peace.
  • Model Godly behavior.


Lumping all Men Together


Again, as I initially stated, if one is in an abusive (verbal or physical) marriage or relationship, please seek help, guidance and counseling and protection above all else, and get out, if necessary!


It is possible that men may view our venting as complaining. Sure, we may have very good reasons to complain about a lot of things, especially when we get frustrated with our husbands for maybe not doing something we had asked to take care of repeatedly to no avail or even worse things.


When we go around saying and telling the world that men can do nothing right (male bashing), then we are also saying that our husband and our son(s), who are part of that group of men, can do nothing right. Wow, in thinking on this, I was truly convicted. I saw the following quote on-line somewhere and it really convicted me:


"Do not talk bad about your husband to anyone. Ever."


Sure, we all get frustrated with our husbands, but it is ultimately our choice how we deal with that frustration.


We should want our husbands to feel like the most important person in our lives, after God. Our husbands should know we have their back. We really should have a desire to build up our husbands so that they are the man God created them to be in this lifetime.


He Really Is a Prince After All!

Crane beauty5.jpg  CC-PD-Mark  illustration at page 39 in Europa's Fairy Book.jpg Author: James Jacobs 1916
Crane beauty5.jpg CC-PD-Mark illustration at page 39 in Europa's Fairy Book.jpg Author: James Jacobs 1916 | Source

Remember: You Chose Him


"Behold you are beautiful, my beloved, truly delightful." (Song of Songs 1:16)


Beast with Rose

File: Beauty and the Beast.jpg  Author: nieve44/La Luz  11 March 2007 CC-BY-2.0 Picture of the Beat with Rose
File: Beauty and the Beast.jpg Author: nieve44/La Luz 11 March 2007 CC-BY-2.0 Picture of the Beat with Rose | Source


"I am my beloved's, and his desire is for me." ---Song of Songs 7:10



Your Prince Was There the Whole Time


The Beast is portrayed to be really aggressive and unsightly; someone with whom you should not want to fall in love.


When it comes to relationships, the inside is more important than the physical appearance.


It may very well be that the man we marry does not look handsome, muscular, or wonderful. Maybe he will have frightening scars or startling features. Hopefully, we will marry him because of what we see on the inside of him is good and God honoring. Then we will be just right for each other.


Let us be mindful to plant seeds of faithfulness into our husband's heart by praising his integrity. This is done through our actions and attitudes towards our husband, and then waiting on God's harvest in his heart.


Then there is the beauty of humility. Sometimes we just know we are right and our husbands are wrong, and that is when it takes great humility to honor our husbands by praying to the Lord that we respond in faith and humility before reacting negatively towards our husbands. It is difficult to speak well of our husbands when our own hearts are puffed up with pride. Remember to speak wisely and well, then leave the results to God.


The Power of Our Words


"Let no corrupt talk come out of your mouths, but such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion that it may give grace to those who hear. (Ephesians 4:29)


Ask Yourselves These Questions and then Think on Your Answers


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Just for this time of year here in October ...


I have taken liberty here to add this dramatic video (includes art by the artists of deviant art) being it is October, just for added drama as to the "Beast" who can be found in all of us at times. Looks like there are indeed some pretty gruesome beasts here in this video ....or not? You decide.


To all the dear men who may be reading, if you are truly a "beast" and desire to change, then just ask the Lord God to change your heart, for He can and will. Once this heart change happens, your whole life will also change when you place God first. What happens then is all added blessings in every aspect of your life, especially your marriage. God can change the hearts of men!


© Copyright Faith Reaper, October 30, 2013


"I never doubted your beauty ...I've changed."

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"Be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."
(Ephesians 4: 32)


Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve


Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve (c. 1695 – 29 December 1755) was a French author born in LaRochelle, France. She is particularly noted for her La Belle et la Bête, which is the oldest known variant of the fairy tale Beauty and the Beast. First published in La jeune américaine, et les contes marins, it is over a hundred pages long, containing many subplots, and involving a genuinely savage Beast, not merely a beastly facade. Her lengthy version was abridged, rewritten, and published by Jeanne-Marie Leprince de Beaumont, to produce the version most commonly retold.

en.wikipedia.org


Where Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve Was Born

A markerLaRochelle, France -
La Rochelle, France
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    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      How to Turn Your Beast of a Husband into a Prince wow incredible hub, Faith Reaper you have done it again another one of your best hubs the presentation is fantastic and you thought of everything here. Voted up, useful, interesting, and awesome.

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Sorry Faith I took your quiz, hope I did not mess up any metrics. I have to work on 9. for sure. I just read this and applied as me. A husband. I must follow the same lessons. Of course I probably need to be more of a beast grrrrr. This is just great universal stuff. If I look first to God the rest seems to follow.

      thanks much for a great spiritual read.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Interestingly, Bev really didn't have to do much to change me. :) She knew not to try. LOL I changed because I wanted to be a better man for her....I could have never done it twenty years ago; I had to become a man willing to change for it to happen.

      Wonderful thoughts my friend, and blessings to you always.

      bill

    • ocfireflies profile image

      ocfireflies 3 years ago from North Carolina

      Faith,

      Once again, you have produced a stellar hub with nothing left out. Many praises to you for spreading good will. Voted WAY UP!

      Sending warmth to you and your beloved,

      Kim

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 3 years ago from The Beautiful South

      Might be hard for a lot of wives to respond to this; for many of us know they are a beast, lol (and I am not talking physical abuse either) but because of God remain with them and plan to til "death do us part". That is reality for many women that accept that as life. I do think it is so important for husbands and wives to try to work together for harmony and it is a beautiful thing to see older couples still in love and dedicated to one another. Forgiveness may well be a very important issue to try to come close to that.

    • kidscrafts profile image

      kidscrafts 3 years ago from Ottawa, Canada

      Great hub, Faith! Very interesting subject and I love that you told women who are abused to seek help; it's so important not to stay in an abusive relationship.

      It's always great to take time to look nice for our companion but the most important I think is the inner beauty. I am very fortunate because my husband is not a beast and never has been; I have a very kind and thoughtful prince :-)

      Thank you for sharing this beautiful hub! God bless you and have a wonderful day!

      Joelle

    • Romeos Quill profile image

      Romeos Quill 3 years ago from Lincolnshire, England

      What a thoroughly understanding wife you must be dearest Faith, and your husband must count himself most fortunate indeed, to be in receipt of such splendour ( which I'm sure you must have heard many times before ).

      Arguments in a relationship can be so destructive, especially when it changes into some kind of childish power struggle, which serves to cheapen that which one already holds so valuable, alienating one from another for its duration. I believe that couples should never go to bed with an unresolved dilemma still left hanging in their midst; it's good to remedy any probs before sleepy time otherwise that storm in a teacup can become blown out of all proportion to the initial quandary, unceremoniously grasping the reigns of your tomorrow, steering your love into dark places.

      If every man was blessed with a wife, just like the one you have highlighted in your excellent bible passages, what a world it would be!

      Another marvellous article, and love Stevie Nicks; such a beautiful woman with a wonderful singing voice ( I think she's still touring ). Couldn't take your quizzes, ( for obvious reasons ), though the results would be interesting to see.

      Have a lovely day, and thank you.

      With Warmest Regards,

      R.Q.

    • profile image

      cleaner 3 3 years ago

      Faith .. love this hub

      if there is any who doubts your words they can only look and see your beautiful heart.. excellent hub .. am writing this from Google .. ! thank you Tree..

      Love ...Michael

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Devika,

      Always so nice to see you stopping by to read all about my beast, or in reality ....really me : ) So glad you like the presentation and after 35 years of marriage, I know it takes a ton of compromise for sure! This is my contribution to this time of season and Halloween. : )

      I appreciate all the votes up.

      Blessings,

      Faith Reaper

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Dear Eric,

      I am so glad you have taken my quiz! LOL I know you are a big teddy "bear" ... Yes, you have written a great truth here in your comment.

      Thank you so much for leaving a coment which adds to the subject of this hub and does truly speak to both spouses indeed!

      Hugs and love,

      Faith Reaper

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Dear Bill,

      I know she did not because we cannot change our husbands at all, but just be the loving wife she is, and I thank you for leaving a sincere comment as to you making the decision to change. Now, look at the wonderful man who are to bless so many, including Bev! You were a prince of a man the whole time underneath it all.

      I am glad you are just who you are this day!

      Blessings and love to you and yours,

      Faith Reaper

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi sweet Kim,

      Always so nice when you stop by to read. I appreciate the kind comments as always.

      Marriage takes a lot of compromise, understanding and love indeed!

      Thank you for the votes up.

      Hugs and love to you and yours too,

      Faith Reaper

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Dear Jackie,

      Yes, for those in it for life, know it takes a lot of forgiveness for sure! I know, being married for 35 years. I also had to look deep within myself to see the "beast" in me and look to God to make sure my heart is right when it comes to my husband.

      Thank you for understanding my message here in this hub.

      You have written a lot of truths in your comments and I appreciate it.

      Yes, there must be peace and harmony to have that lasting marriage and it may be that we need to look at the two-by-four in our own eyes first, and then ...

      Hugs and love to you and yours,

      Faith Reaper

    • profile image

      Rayne123 3 years ago

      Hi Faith

      Very good well written hub.

      It is so true and I think it goes both ways.

      Like you said there are reasons to leave a partnership if you must, but if the other half is ready to get help, then we should be there for support.

      If it is to the point that does not work then other options are available.

      thank you for this hub

      Blessings

      Laurie

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Awesome comments here. When I think of a spiritual testimony I envision this. Leading by faith and works and just downright making me want to have some of what you got!!

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Dear Joelle,

      Thank you so much for reading and leaving such insightful comments here to add to the topic of this hub! I can tell from your commenting, you do have that inner beauty of love coming straight from your heart, and that makes your husband all the more of a prince to begin with indeed!

      If we really know our husband, deep down, we know they are never truly "beats' although some may come across as rough on the exterior, they are sweethearts underneath it all and really do want to be our prince for life.

      I am so glad you have a happy and blessed marriage with your princce of a husband! : ) Thank you for sharing here in your comments.

      Yes, I did feel it very important to add here in this hub if one is in an abusive relationship, to please leave and seek help immediately!

      God bless you and yours,

      Faith Reaper

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Dear Romeos,

      Well thank you very much, but I am one to have to look deep into my own heart each day and before I start looking around at my husband, before those harsh words leave my mouth. It does require a heart change and when I look to God first, then that is the only way I know I can change myself. When I place God first, then everything else seems to fall into place, but when I do not, then the beast is bound to come out in me too!

      For those marriages to last a lifetime, this is all I know that must take place, to look first at oneself and allow one's inner beauty to shine.

      Thank you for your insightful comments here.

      I know you are a prince of a man with the words you write so beautifully!

      I actually have seen Stevie Nix on tour with a bunch of my girlfriends a good while back and she was amazing.

      It may very well be interesting to take the quizzes LOL.

      I know it is difficult for some to read being they may very well have a true beast for a husband, and if there is any sign of abuse, then it is imperative for one to leave and seek help!

      Have a lovely day and I always look forward to reading your amazing poetry.

      Blessings,

      Faith Reaper

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      This is a beautiful hub with a positive message. Although people certainly do change throughout their lives and you may find yourself wondering who is that person walking beside you in life, you're right that you chose him for a reason (or hopefully a set of reasons). Wouldn't it be useful if the bride-to-be, blissfully about to be married, could write her older self a letter detailing all the positive qualities that make her groom her choice? I imagine it may be beneficial to return to that letter during times of trouble.

    • profile image

      Rayne123 3 years ago

      Flourish your idea is amazing and just maybe it is inspiring some out there to do just so.

      I believe we do marry/court someone because of what we liked in them to begin with, however things/circumstances change but we as people never do. If we try to change for someone than we become someone we are not, although compromising in any relationship is a great bonus.

      He many not like the same stuff you do, however to disallow anyone to give up what they like is trying to change him into something he is not.

      As faith mentions to be supportive you can praise him instead. One can even try to go to that game with him and enjoy it. Its not a big deal

      We all have good, and when you are always putting someone down they start to believe that about themselves and this makes for a negative relationship.

    • hawaiianodysseus profile image

      Hawaiian Odysseus 3 years ago from Southeast Washington state

      As a man, I want to thank you for this beautiful and encouraging message to the fairer sex. As a man, I also know that I was a prince when I got married and, with maturity and through making a lot of mistakes (thank God for forgiveness!), I came to an awareness that the beast is always a curtain away from the prince. I could never have been the searching writer that I am today had I tried to conceal the truth of that. In the acceptance that I am always dependent on the Master to help the beast in me die daily that the prince might emerge triumphant, I feel freer than before. Again, I really appreciate how spiritually discerning you are of your role as a loving wife and of what a husband truly needs and finds sustenance in. Thanks so much for writing this, Faith. Aloha, and have a great evening!

      ~Joe

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Dear Michael,

      Just getting in late this night. Saw two terrible accidents on the Interstate going North and South involving 18-wheelers going into the ravines! My car just ran straight through the glass all over the road, which I could not see until right up on it due to it being dark out! I am thankful to be home for sure!

      So glad to see you here, popping in from Google! Thank you so much. You are so kind and generous in your commenting. Maybe I should have titled this in a more softer tone like in that subtitle above the one photo..."He Really Is a Prince After All" : )

      The bottom line is we should always look for the good in people first instead of the other way around. And I know I am writing this one for myself to put into practice for sure!

      I am glad you love this one.

      Hugs and I hope you have a lovely evening, with no Algebra to study this night!

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi sweet Laurie (Rayne),

      So lovely to see you stopping by to read this day! Yes, I think we should look for the good first in others, especially our spouse, as opposed to always pointing out the negative. It really goes a long way in making life so much more enjoyable!

      No couple is perfect and all have different issues at hand. We do bring into the marriage a lot of stuff that we probably do not realize until afterwards, but if love is there to begin with, then all is possible and it is so important to not lose sight of that love in one's heart for the other when life's issues come at us, as they do.

      You know there is a prince out there just for you sweetie.

      Have a lovely evening and I know I am behind in my commenting as I know you have been writing up a storm with your wonderful poetry.

      Hugs and blessings,

      Faith Reaper

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi again dear Eric!

      I am so glad for your return visit here as to the comments made. You always manage to bring a smile to my face with your wonderful commenting too. Actually, I wrote this hub more so for myself, as I need to be mindful of the words that are coming out of my mouth when it comes to my husband, who really does the best he can at whatever and he has always loved me, even when I am not so loveable!

      I think when we choose to look for the good, something, anything in another, especially our spouse, we will find it!

      God bless you and yours and for being you! Getting in late, so I know I need to catch up with everyone's great writings here as always. Such a joy always to read the wonderful writers and friends on HP!

      (((Hugs))),

      Faith Reaper

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 3 years ago from The Caribbean

      Great article for all wives to read. It takes a princess to know how to make a beast into a prince. Hope your readers will follow your lead. Blessings!

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Wow Flourish,

      That is truly an awesome idea! You are so very wise indeed. Yes, we made the choice and it would be a sweet reminder to be mindful of why after so many years of marriage, being life does come with its issues, and we do change. As for my husband and I, when I think about just how young we were when we married, that we actually sort of grew up together through our life and, as you so wisely pointed out, we do change. Hopefully, we have matured and matured in our love, but I know that is not always the case of course due to circumstances in life.

      The bottom line to me is to be mindful to always look for the good in another one, especially our spouse, and we will find it, especially if we are mindful, as you pointed out, to think back to exactly why we chose to marry our spouse back when.

      Thank you for the awesome comment dear Floursih. I just love your wonderful attitude about life, and your name here on HubPages speaks volumes to ... Flourish Anyway! How delightful.

      Blessings to you and yours,

      Faith Reaper

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      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Yes, Laurie (Rayne),

      I love Flourish's awesome idea about the letter to the older self. It would be wonderful is she wrote a hub on that very thing. Even the older husband, would love to read such letter in later years of marriage too.

      You are right, although married, we are each our own individual with our own likes and dislikes, and even with that being the case, we should not neglect what the other likes and actually be okay with what the other enjoys and maybe even go along to that game as you suggest. Another awesome insight here by you Laurie!

      Yes, there is something good about the other that we can focus on in lieu of constantly focusing on the negative aspects for sure. I know, easier said than done, believe me, and each marriage is unique as each couple is like no other couple. When the love is there in the beginning for the right reasons, then there should be no reason why it should not last a lifetime. It is these little things that make life much better one day at a time.

      Thank you for blessing my hub space with your presence here this day dear Laurie!

      You are awesome too and deserve the best this life has to offer.

      Hugs,

      Faith Reaper

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      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Aw, dear ... emerging triumphant Prince Joe,

      It is indeed good to feel freer than ever before!

      Please know just how much I am always blessed beyond measure each and every time I read your wise and insightful writings and, in addition to that, how you always take the time to leave such sincere and genuine comments! Your heart is open wide for all to see, and it is a beautiful thing.

      Wow, I am so glad you pointed out that daily struggle there, as that is a great truth, and we, "the fairer sex" should be mindful of such a struggle as you have shared here. Thank you for leaving such a powerful comment here as a man, a prince and that beast, who is just a curtain away ... and, yes, thank goodness His mercies are new each and every morn.

      I am so thankful for His mercies each and every morn too.

      Aloha, and you have a great evening as well!

      Faith Reaper

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      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi MsDora,

      Thank you for stopping by to read. I have to be mindful of this very thing each day myself! When we choose to look for the good and positive in our spouse, then maybe it will surface more each day and it makes for a much more pleasant life.

      I always appreciate reading your articles full of such wisdom and always welcome your comments from one who possesses such wisdom ... and from whom I have learned a lot in reading your writings.

      Have a blessed evening,

      Faith Reaper

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      Elizabeth Parker 3 years ago from Las Vegas, NV

      What a wonderful and thoughtful...and thought-provoking hub. Awesome job and it shows how much work you put into it. All fantastic ideas and advice!

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      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Liz,

      So great to see you here reading this day! Thank you so much. I appreciate the positive feedback in your generous comments.

      Yes, let us look for the positive in our spouses until we find it! : )

      Blessings to you and yours,

      Faith Reaper

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      Marlene Bertrand 3 years ago from Northern California, USA

      This is beautiful. In doing an awareness check, I realized that my husband is beast-like, but not a beast. I absolutely had to change my attitude. Once I started calling him my Prince Charming, my attitude changed and he actually softened up a little. I guess it is all as you have described here. I have much more to learn. Your relationship hubs are truly quite valuable.

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      Linda Crampton 3 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      This is a very interesting hub that contains lots for me to think about, Faith. I love all the effort that you have put into the hub and I appreciate all the ideas and advice that you've shared. Thank you!

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      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Marlene,

      Oh, I love that you started calling your husband Prince Charming and he actually softened up a little and your attitude changed too. How wonderful of you to share of such!

      There you go! Thank you so much for leaving such great comments to add to the topic of this hub.

      You're the best!

      Hugs and love to you and yours,

      Faith Reaper

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      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Alicia,

      Always so great when you stop by to read! Yes, lots to think about for sure as, I, too, have been thinking much on this issue in my own life. It just seems life is much better when we focus on looking for the good in others rather than getting all out of sorts dwelling on and pointing out nothing but the negative for sure!

      I appreciate your comments here this night.

      Blessings,

      Faith Reaper

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      lovedoctor926 3 years ago

      Hi Faith, thank you for sharing this valuable information. Your hubs always teach me something new. I believe that God can tame the hardest of the hearts, but the beast has to also want to change. there is much food for thought here. voted up++ and away!

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      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Marlene,

      So glad to see you here this night! Yes, God can and you are so right, if the beast wants his heart changed and asks God to change his heart. But those who are not truly beasts, but simply need our affirmation of our love for them to be shown, will reveal that inner prince we may have not seen before or maybe long ago.

      I could have lightened up the title a bit to say "You Were Always There My Prince" or something along those lines, for we cannot change anyone, but we can ask God to change our hearts too. And we can look for the good in others until we find it, after looking deep within our own selves first.

      Thank you so much for the vote up and away.

      Be safe on this Halloween night!

      Hugs and love to you,

      Faith Reaper

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      Martin Kloess 3 years ago from San Francisco

      Thank you for this. Very well written. Speaking from a martin perspective, I stopped going out with other couples. I found other men embarrassing.

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      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      Faith what a terrific job you did in compiling this hub.. it shows the hard work and dedication that only good faith could produce.. bless you and welcome back from the land of the ill...:)

    • sharonchristy profile image

      Sharon Christy 3 years ago from India

      Loved your article Faithreaper. I am not married yet but hope to be in the future and along with the dreams and hopes I have, it is also important not to get carried away and expect a fictitious relationship, there have to be compensations and diligent work on any relationship and you have said that so beautifully. Loved all the little Biblical quotes, your hub has inspired me to read song of songs, that one line alone was that beautiful. Thank you for the lovely hub, really needed it. God bless and keep you and yours forevermore!

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      Patricia Scott 3 years ago from sunny Florida

      Good morning Faith

      So well stated, these words you share.

      It takes two to make the marriage thing work for sure.

      I was young and married a man who had no place for God in his life. He was not a horrible person, not a beast at all, but our values were not the same.

      We did not ask the right questions to each other before we married. Our relationship worked until it didn't.

      A life without God...I cannot imagine that...

      Thank you, dear sweet friend, for offering these words that will hopefully be read and used to guide lives.

      Angels are on the way to you ps

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      passionate77 3 years ago

      Wonderful hub, very well written with great details and explanations. A real brilliant job faith, you did compiling such a great post on this very sensitive topic, i just bookmarked the hub for further reference as found it very helpful. million blessings and million thanks for sharing!

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      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      LOL, Mh, yes, those other men can be that way, but never you ... never!

      Always a blessing when you stop by to read and leave your signature comments.

      God bless,

      Faith Reaper

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      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Frank,

      Thank you for stopping by my "beast" of a Hub here on Halloween. Yes, you are so right about putting in the hard work in a marriage to look for and point out those wonderful character traits of one's spouse, as opposed to always pointing out the negative ones. It makes for a much more pleasant life and longer-lasting marriage too, hopefully.

      I am feeling much better now, thank you so much ... back with the living .... did not mean to make a pun on Halloween night.

      God bless,

      Faith Reaper

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      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hello sharonchristy,

      What a lovely visit from you here! Thank you so much for the wonderful comments and so glad you have taken away something from this hub. Yes, I love that one line from Song of Songs too.

      I received a blessing from your visit and I do pray you find your prince out there one day ... the one He has for you and that you, too, are blessed forevermore!

      God bless you.

      In His Love, Faith Reaper

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      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi there my sweetest friend, PS, who always sends Angels,

      I am always so blessed when you are able to stop by for a visit here! Yes, when God is at the center of our hearts and marriages, it makes all the difference in the world.

      He is our bridegroom!

      Please know I am in prayer each day for your and your beautiful family. I am asking that He send a multitude of Angels your way too precious friend.

      God bless you and yours always, Faith Reaper

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      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hello passionate77,

      Such a lovely visit from you here! Thank you so much for leaving such generous comments. I am so thrilled you found this hub to be helpful and my prayer is that we are mindful to look for the good in others first, especially our spouse, as opposed to always pointing out just the negative.

      God bless you and yours.

      In His Love, Faith Reaper

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      Suzette Walker 3 years ago from Taos, NM

      Faith: Such a beautiful article. 'Beauty and the Beast' is one of my favorites of the fairy tales and I helped to direct the music for a children's version of this musical play. What a joy that was. But I digress. I agree with what you say. Never disparage your husband and or significant other especially in public. Love is patient, love is kind, it is not boastful etc. I love the definition of love in Corinthians and I have always tried to live and love according to it. Yes, none of us is perfect, but I always respected my husband and I do even as an ex-husband. People are always trying to get me to say awful things about my ex and I just don't. We had our differences but the end of a marriage is a sad, sad moment and the end of a marriage is truly both persons' fault. It is not easy in this stressful busy world of today, but your words resonate with me. It is good to hear this from someone in a successful marriage. We always have to look at ourselves from within first. And, yes, sometimes we have to tame the 'beast' within the men in our lives. Beautiful, beautiful words here, Faith.

    • profile image

      WhydThatHappen 3 years ago

      Those are some really cool pictures!

      Good hub too, but I'm a single guy and can't really weigh in too much other than I agree with the idea that sometimes we are the problems in our lives more than anyone else is.

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      Genna East 3 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

      This is one of the most thought-provoking hubs I’ve read some time, Faith, and is superb. I recall the film, “As Good As It Gets,” and that memorable line spoken by Nicholson to Helen Hunt’s character: “You make me want to be a better man.” Like you, Faith, I also firmly believe that any woman who is in an abusive relationship with a man who is, by nature, abusive, must leave the relationship for nothing will change who this fellow is. (Certain women are naturally abusive as well.) Excellent hub, dear Faith. :-)

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      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi suzette!

      Thank you so much ... it has always been one of my favorites too of the fairy tales. Oh, I bet it was certainly a great joy to be able to help direct the music for a children's version of the musical play! How lovely, and thank you for sharing about that joyful time.

      I, too, love that definition of what love is and what love is not in 1 Corinthians. What a lovely heart you have and thank you for sharing your powerful statement in being mindful to always respect your then husband and even now being an ex-husband. You have set a high standard of fine character for all to follow when you do not say awful things about your ex, when others are attempting to get you to do so. Wow, God bless you.

      I am glad my words here resonate with you. Yes, I have been married a long time, and it is, as you say, very hard at times with today's lifestyles to stay focused on what really matters and learn to show grace and mercy, for we all certainly are not perfect and far from it. I am always relieved when grace and mercy are extended to me!

      Yes, indeed, we do, sometimes, have to tame the 'beast' within the men in our lives ... beautiful, beautiful comments here from you, beautiful suzette!

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      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hello WhydThatHappen,

      So nice to meet you and I am glad for your visit here! I am also glad you found the pictures to be pretty cool and the hub a good one.

      I do appreciate you weighing in, although you are a single guy, as you say ... you have great insight. Thank you for leaving an awesome comment and taking the time to read.

      Hope your weekend is great,

      Faith Reaper

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      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Dear Genna,

      It is always so lovely when you grace my hub space with your presence! Thank you so very much for your generous comments here.

      Yes, I have seen that movie and that is the best line ever and it is so relevant to mention here as relates to this hub's topic indeed. Thank you for sharing that here.

      Oh, yes, when it comes to a truly abusive relationship or marriage ...get out fast! You are so right, there are abusive women out there, just as there are men.

      You are a wonderful and beautifully insightful woman, dear Genna.

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      wetnosedogs 3 years ago from Alabama

      That one word you used - respect. That is a huge word. It means so much.

      Great hub, Faith.

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      Maria Jordan 3 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      Dear Faith,

      Your gentle beauty and wisdom are intertwined so well with The Beauty and the Beast in this insightful article. The pictures you have selected are the perfect accompaniment as well.

      Glad you are feeling better and safe after your time on the highway. Have a peaceful evening. Love, Maria

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      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Wetnose,

      Yes, men need that respect for sure! I used to have the mindset that respect should be earned and maybe it should be ...then His Word tells us that we are to respect our husbands, which ...if they are our husbands, hopefully, we respect them ... of course, this applies to a man of God and not those who are true "beasts" ...

      Hope you are having a wonderful weekend with all the wetnoses enjoying this lovely weather this day here.

      Hugs to all, Faith Reaper

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      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Dear Maria,

      So lovely to see you here! Thank you dear friend. You are so kind and really the one who is "gentle" to all. I could have gone with the title ... "Your Prince Has Always Been There" ... in thinking along the lines of gentle.

      Hope you and yours are well too and enjoying this beautiful weekend. Well ...it is very lovely here this weekend.

      Hugs and much love,

      Faith Reaper

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      Alphapx 3 years ago from Philippines

      This is a kind of a hub. Husbands should read this hub that they might be enlightened on the truth.

    • Faith Reaper profile image
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      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hello Alphapx,

      Thank you for reading. Yes, it goes both ways for sure! Life is much more pleasant when we tend to look for the good in others than the ugly.

      Blessings,

      Faith Reaper

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      Richard Ricky Hale 3 years ago from West Virginia

      Faith, amazing work as always. Incredible job on this article. So many perspectives and information to take in with this. I'm a husband and it's great to read from this vantage point. Your wise beyond your years Faith. The teaching, dreams, relations to the Bible and God, it's all amazing Faith. Voted up, useful, awesome, beautiful, and interesting. Enjoyed this very much, always do:)

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      What an interesting topic you chose, Faith, and you did yourself proud, m'dear. Your rationale is fascinating and y0ur choice of illustrations, superb.

      My husband was a prince - in every way - although he didn't arrive riding a beautiful white steed. But I chose him anyway even though his mode of locomotion was a rundown wreck of a car that had seen much better days.

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      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Dear lyric,

      Always a blessing when you stop by to read and leave your kind and most generous comments.

      Staying married is not an easy thing, but if one is in it for the long haul, then it is good to try our best (and it is hard at times for sure) to lift each other up and encourage one another in love and not always be so quick to point the finger and blame and complain.

      I am glad to know, from the man's perspective, what you thought here.

      I appreciate the votes up and glad you enjoyed it.

      God bless you and yours.

      Hugs, Faith Reaper

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      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Dear drbj!

      So great to see you here reading and I am glad you found the topic to be interesting ... of our princes/beasts whichever may be the case on any given day : ) ... Thank you so much for your kind comments as to this article.

      LOL .... yes, indeed, dear drbj, I believe your husband and my husband started out on the same foot, so to speak... not on the beautiful white steed, but instead those rundown wrecks of vehicles that had seen better days ... LOL

      I remember well, when my soon to be husband came riding in on that wreck ... hehehe

      The good ole' days.

      Thank you for the smiles as always dear drbj. Hope you and your prince have a lovely evening.

      Blessings, Faith Reaper

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      Jo Alexis-Hagues 3 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

      Hi Faith, another awesome write! I see husband and wife as partners in a marriage, each building and supporting each other through the bad times and the good times. I think my marriage of 26 years have lasted this long because we've learned to pick each other up when we're feeling down, and face the stormy times together. It takes two to make a marriage and when husband and wife both love and appreciate each other, they can handle most things. Brilliant hub, loved the images.

      Take care and my best as always.

      Love Jo.

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      Nithya Venkat 3 years ago from Dubai

      An interesting post, the inner beauty is what matters the most. A beautiful write with thoughts to ponder about. Great write, voted up.

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 3 years ago from California

      Spot on and beautifully done as well!!

    • CraftytotheCore profile image

      CraftytotheCore 3 years ago

      I want to vote excellent, but I have to go with awesome. Perfectly done. We do indeed need to look within ourselves and determine if there is a negative thinking pattern toward our mate. That's the trap many women fall in and don't know how to get back out of. Great points!

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      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Jo (tobusiness),

      Always so great when you stop by to read and today is no different.

      Wow, that is so awesome .... 26 years! And from your wonderful comments, which add much to the subject of this hub, I can see why you are enjoying a lasting marriage. Thank you for sharing here. That is the key, continuing to love and support each other even through the bad times, or really, especially during the bad times! It seems too many couples seem to throw in the towel once there is a trial that comes up or a struggle in the marriage, instead of working through it. Sticking together through the hard times, actually strengthens the marriage.

      Again, I am not talking about an abusive type of relationship.

      I appreciate your generous comments here.

      Take care and keep doing what you are doing in your lasting marriage.

      Love to you both always,

      Faith Reaper

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      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Vellur,

      Thank you for reading and I appreciate your insight and vote up.

      Yes, true beauty is found in the heart ... when we are "ugly" so-to-speak, means we have a problem with our hearts and need to have a heart change for sure.

      Blessings, Faith Reaper

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      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Dear Audrey,

      Thank you for reading and I appreciate your lovely and generous comment.

      Blessings, Faith Reaper

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      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Crafty,

      So great to have you stop by to read! Thank you so much for the "awesome" vote and wonderful comments here. Yes, sometimes we are so busy looking around at everyone else and not stopping to take a real long hard look at ourselves. You are right, it is a trap for sure for so many women, and unfortunately the aspect of a loving and happy marriage may not be in the future, if a heart change does not take place.

      Blessings to you and yours,

      Faith Reaper

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      Mary Craig 3 years ago from New York

      Your faith adds so much to this beautiful message. How inspiring to know what was said in Thessalonians, an issue with man and woman since the beginning of time. Sorry men, but seems they have a slightly more fragile personality and need us to show them we love them. Something we sometimes forget.

      Our passion with God spills over into everything in our lives including our passion and love of our husbands. This is a great reminder Faith and you have written it beautifully. Your comparison to Beauty and the Beast is a reminder there is beauty in everyone.

      Voted up, useful, awesome, and interesting.

    • Deborah Brooks profile image

      Deborah Brooks Langford 3 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      well hello girlfriend.. I have to say this is one of the wisest and great writing I have read in a long time.. i really miss your writing.. and I miss you loving kindness and your wisdom.. This is all so true.. and so interesting.. unfortunately now days .. the women are told to be out for themselves.. that if someone doesn't make you happy and instead of trying to improve your self and your relationship then to get out.. God bless you dear friend...

      debbie

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      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Dear Mary (Till),

      Thank you so much for stopping by to read. Yes, that scripture in 1 Thessalonians is a good one to be mindful of for sure ... and, men certainly do need encouragement, tenderness and respectful and most of all our love! We do forget at times that men have hearts and our words can hurt even them.

      Thank you for leaving such lovely comments to add much to the topic of this hub. When God is at the center of our lives, you are so right, then His love in us, spills out to the overflow into all areas of our lives.

      I appreciate the votes up.

      Mary, I had your beautiful hub on your perspective of "The Beauty of the Beast" linked here, but I thought, well, I better see if you approve of my hub first before linking your awesome hub.

      I am keeping you and yours in my thoughts and prayers.

      Hugs and much love,

      Faith Reaper

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      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi sweet friend, Debbie,

      Always so wonderful when you are able to stop by to read, and I am so glad you found this piece to be worth reading! I have missed you too, and you know where to find me .... I am right here still : )

      Yes, those women and men who have the mindset when it comes to marriage of ... what is in it for me, well .... will soon find out ... not a thing! Marriage is certainly not about self and all marriages are unique to each couple. It takes a lot of compromise and a whole lot of love. Yes, you are right ... the world wants to teach us to be all out for ourselves, and thankfully, God's ways are not that of this world! When we are married, we become one flesh in the eyes of God, and together there is strength to get through any trials a marriage may go through, when God is at the head.

      I hope and pray that you and your Prince are dong well.

      So blessed by your visit here this night.

      God bless you too. In His Love Always,

      Faith Reaper

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      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      Faith, I found that by changing my life and view, my hubby was changed. Probably because he was accepted as he was and loved. Also, beauty is from within, as you wrote, and a woman will always be attractive if she keeps this in mind. Excellent post and well done! God bless you, dear lady.

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      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Dear teaches,

      Thank you for sharing and adding much insight to the topic of this hub here! Exactly, we should try looking at ourselves first as to whether changes are necessary, especially in our hearts and then ... all else seems to just fall into place.

      Yes, when men truly know they are loved and accepted for who they are, then it is as if miracles really do happen! Yes, all women should be very mindful that true beauty is not on outer thing, but from the heart and then it spills outwardly in all areas of our lives. And that is very beautiful!

      Thank you so much for your lovely comments.

      God bless you too lovely lady,

      Faith Reaper

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      Sparklea 3 years ago from Upstate New York

      Faith, voted up, useful and awesome. The accompanying pictures are incredible. You should be a marriage counselor...you brought out so many excellent points and suggestions!

      I've always felt that when two people marry and love each other, both become better people.

      If a spouse brings out your dark side, something is wrong.

      I agree it is VITAL that the woman NEVER puts her husband down, either to his face or to another person.

      To greet your husband after work, when he comes in the door, is a must...you covered so many important areas, and your writing views are always diplomatic.

      Thank you for this terrific hub. It must have taken you a long time, it is beautifully written and, as I stated before, the accompanying pictures and videos bring it all together. God bless you real good! Sparklea :)

    • Faith Reaper profile image
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      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Sparklea!

      It is always so wonderful when you stop by to read and add your insightful comments as to the subject of this hub here. I appreciate the votes up. I was thrilled that Wikimedia had so many amazing art available for public use under The Beauty and the Beast.

      You have brought smiles with your comment as to the marriage counselor, for I am certainly not qualified for such, but have been married for a long time. Honestly, I have been studying God's Word on this subject and looking deep within myself and this is what the Lord has placed on my heart on the issue.

      I know the love in your heart that you have for your wonderful prince of a husband, just from reading your answers to questions I have posed here on HP in the past. You are truly blessed in your wonderful marriage and so is your husband, for he has you, a beautiful woman of noble character for a wife no doubt!

      Yes, as far as diplomatic, being this is a very sensitive subject for many, that is exactly what I hoped to come across as ... diplomatic.

      I appreciate you for who you are, and for always leaving such tremendous comments which add much to the subject of this hub.

      God bless you and yours,

      Faith Reaper

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      lovedoctor926 3 years ago

      Wow, Faith, this is another one of your best hubs. There is so much food for thought here. Thank you for sharing your knowledge & wisdom. Hope everything is well my dear friend. God Bless You

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      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Dear Marlene,

      I appreciate your second visit here! Thank you again for your wonderful comments. I changed up the title to a kinder and softer tone, so .... : )

      Yes, I am well, sweetie. I hope and pray all is well down your way. I do hope you will be able to have time to write again here on HP.

      God bless you and keep you too,

      Faith Reaper

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      Vinaya Ghimire 3 years ago from Nepal

      I read this article from male perspective. My father had seen my mother only once before he agreed to marry her. It was arranged by the parents and the relatives. They have been married for 39 years, with four children. When I look back at my parents relationship, I get this notion that life, as well as marriage, is all about compromise. You step backward, she has to step backward. You move forward, he moves forward.

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      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Dear Vinaya,

      I appreciate your male perspective here! Thank you for sharing about your parents and their marriage of 39 years. Yes, your observations are clear and so on point for sure, for marriage is all about compromise!

      Great insight you have shared here.

      Blessings, Faith Reaper

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      Deb Hirt 3 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Respect is very important in our lives. Without it, we cannot thrive, nor do we wish to do so. I am pleased that you brought this up, as it is a great eye opener to us all.

    • Faith Reaper profile image
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      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Deb,

      Thank you for reading, and it is always so great to have you stopping by to read! Yes, that is the word there ... respect! You have written a great truth in your comment, which adds much to the topic of this hub.

      I am looking forward to this week's news on Boomer Lake, and to seeing all of your amazing and beautiful photography!

      Blessings, Faith Reaper

    • CrisSp profile image

      CrisSp 3 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Wonderful message, delightful read!

      "Do not talk bad about your husband to anyone. Ever." -- I couldn't agree more on that line but I just wrote about his balding issue. Lol! I guess, we'll take that as an exemption to the rule considering the good intentions.

      I enjoyed your thoughts and wise words. Voting up, pinning and sharing.

      With much respect and love from the sky.

    • Faith Reaper profile image
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      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Dear CrisSp,

      LOL ... and you did an excellent write too of encouraging all men who are balding that it is a masculine and awesome thing! So, there you go! You are a wonderful person with a great heart and I can tell just how much you love your sweet husband from all you have written.

      I appreciate you reading and the votes up and sharing.

      Tons of hugs and love to you and here's to our handsome balding husbands : )

      Faith Reaper

    • LadyFiddler profile image

      Joanna Chandler 3 years ago from On planet Earth

      This is very well put together and well written Hub Faith so true ..........unfortunately i have neither or, Prince charming or The beast from the wild. I don't look forward to having a beast either lol. Hope couples and married people learn something from your hub.

      Thanks for sharing

    • Faith Reaper profile image
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      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Dear Jo (LadyFiddler),

      So happy to see you here this day reading! I appreciate your kind comments. LOL ... I am so glad you do not have a beast from the wild! However, I do know God has that Prince out there for you, unless He just wants you all to himself right now, to continue to use you for His glory, as you do when you write!

      God bless you. In His Love,

      Faith Reaper

    • kiddiecreations profile image

      N Kiddie 3 years ago

      WOW, this hub is truly amazing!!! Thank you so much for sharing. It brought tears to my eyes. The Lord confirmed everything I've been learning through your post. May God Almighty bless you!!!!

    • Faith Reaper profile image
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      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hello again kiddiecretions,

      Wow, thank you so much for the enthusiastic comments here! Oh, my goodness, I am humbled that this hub brought tears dear heart. Thank you for sharing what the Lord has revealed to you and I am glad my hub helped to reveal such to you.

      God bless you too precious heart. In His Love,

      Faith Reaper

    • Krmission profile image

      Kristy 3 years ago from Indiana

      Really enjoyed this hub. This is excellent advice for anyone!

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hello Krmission,

      I am so glad you found this hub and enjoyed it. I appreciate your wonderful comments.

      Blessings,

      Faith Reaper

    • Lady Guinevere profile image

      Debra Allen 2 years ago from West By God

      It really is that you teach others how to treat you. Now I was not a very strong woman when I first married my husband. I was not aware of the coping skills that I needed and so I floundered and made mistake after mistake. Now I am not saying that he didn't make any mistakes. Actually he was working on something that happened to him way before I ever met him. Speaking bad about him is subjective at best. It would depend on who you are talking to and what their take is and not what you are saying. Now I was never into the divorce thing and neither was my husband. Not saying that I was not divorced before...I learned many things from that.

      It got so bad and his abusing me and it was not coming from him to me. Let me explain that....He had buried some abuse he got from his life way before me and it was she that he was seeing. So the abue that I was getting was for someone else. I went through counseling myself for 2 years and did learn what I was contributing to the abuse...Hear that ladies...It goes both ways. I learned lots of things to get him to see ME and not the other person whom he wants to continue punishing. It is an addiction of sorts. It comes and goes. It is me though that has to let him know when what he is doing is not acceptable.

      I like your choices in biblical scripture too. Very nice hub with a very important message.

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 2 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Lady G,

      I am so glad you stopped by to read and dug this one up. Thank you for sharing your insight and experiences here, which add much to the subject of this hub.

      Oh, I know without a doubt that I had no clue about all of this when I married at such a young age and, thankfully, we persevered through the good, the bad and the ugly. I truly realized that I needed to understand my husband more and to start looking at his good qualities instead of always pointing out his just being human, for I certainly am still a work in progress myself. I needed to be mindful of what my mother always taught us and that was ... if I did not have anything nice to say, then it is best to say nothing at all. That forced me to look for the positive, which in reality there was plenty.

      I am so glad you came to understand your husband and from where his actions were coming and when it is necessary to let him know when his actions are not acceptable.

      I like the scripture here too, as it seems appropriate and I need to be mindful to read it often. When we look into our own hearts and see what needs to change, we are prone to show a lot more mercy to others, especially our spouses.

      Thank you for taking the time to leave such wonderful comments. I do hope all who read come away with the message I am attempting to convey here. However, I am not for anyone staying in an abusive relationship for one minute. I have family who have done this for far too long and have written about it as well.

      I hope your evening is lovely.

    • word55 profile image

      Word 2 years ago from Chicago

      Alright Faith, you go girl. You sound like the woman described in Proverbs 31. I love it, love it and love it, a virtuous woman. Mercy!

    • Faith Reaper profile image
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      Faith Reaper 2 years ago from southern USA

      Alright Word55! LOL I appreciate you so much, dear heart, as a man weighing in here. So are a great encourager and I love your enthusiastic comments. Glad you really love this one. Thank you for placing a smile on my face this day. I am far from such a woman, but thank you for stating such.

      Blessings and hugs

    • peachpurple profile image

      peachy 2 years ago from Home Sweet Home

      my hubby say you do the household chores, you are doing your job as a wife

    • Faith Reaper profile image
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      Faith Reaper 2 years ago from southern USA

      Yes, each couple has to come together in deciding who is to do what. We have always pretty much shared the responsibilities of household chores as we both had full-time jobs away from the home. Now that my husband has retired and my children are grown, he has picked up a lot more around the house including having dinner ready when I arrive home after my long commute in from the city. Each couple is different but each must understand his or her role in the marriage.

    • Vellur profile image

      Nithya Venkat 2 years ago from Dubai

      An interesting read and many points to think about here. Great write.

    • Faith Reaper profile image
      Author

      Faith Reaper 2 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Vellur,

      I am so glad you found this interesting! Yes, I have presented many points here to ponder. We wives certainly play an important role and we should really look to ourselves first before we start pointing fingers at another no doubt in addressing any problems in the relationship. Sometimes when we search deep within ourselves, we see that the problems are not always the our spouse!

      God bless you

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