How to Use the Law of Attraction to Find Your Perfect Partner
Law of Attraction and Relationships
Many want to know how to use the principles of Law of Attraction to manifest a lasting, meaningful relationship with the right partner. Is it even possible? The simple answer is yes, it is. However, in order to be successful at using the universal laws for this purpose, there are some important points to consider.
- First, it is not an easy process and there are no “magic answers” in life.
- Second, attracting the right partner has the prerequisite of a lot of personal soul searching and evaluation.
When people are lonely, the desire for a “magic button” to ease that loneliness is very tempting indeed. We fantasize about “soul mates” and someone who can “complete us” etc. Sometimes, we want that “perfect” relationship so much, we try to make the wrong person fit the right mold. Other times, we get so caught up in the desire to fill a void in our own lives we believe a prince charming can come galloping over the horizon and rescue us from our lack of fulfillment.
None of these are true, yet it doesn't stop people from chasing the elusive or having the wrong idea about what true love and commitment actually are. We live in a society that glorifies romance and fairy tales over substance and longevity. So many marriages end in divorce, because as a society we have developed and embraced some very skewed views on what lasting love and true partnership actually entails.
Here are the facts about good relationships:
- Happy, fulfilled people attract relationships that are in turn happy and fulfilling.
- Those who seek another person to fill a void or cure loneliness in their life will always end up disappointed.
- When you are unclear of what you truly want and need yourself, there is no way for you to know and understand what you truly need in a partner.
- Finally, you must be the type of person/partner you want to attract.
Keep reading to learn how you can start the work necessary to manifest the life and relationship of your dreams. Law of attraction works if you use it properly and put in the honest, hard work it requires.
Get Clear on What You Want
The fact of the matter is you can't simply wish for a significant other to appear and expect the universe to drop the person into your lap.
So does this mean you can't manifest a life partner? No, of course not. You can, but it has to be done from the right frame of mind and with the proper expectations in place. In order to get law of attraction to work; you must be willing to work hard for what you want. It involves more than vision boards and imagination. It takes genuine self-assessment, a willingness to face yourself with total honesty and a desire to make the changes necessary within yourself that will facilitate the delivery of the “perfect” partner for you.
Anyone can state generalities. My perfect partner will be funny, sensitive, and hardworking. - yawn, boring. Of course we all want these general traits in a partner, but that isn't digging into the heart of what you truly want or need.
If you were to sit down right now could you list 100 things you would love to see in your ideal partner? How about 50? Could you write a detailed description of the specific personality traits you admire, want to attract and why?
For example go beyond a “good sense of humor” - that's a given, I don't think any of us are seeking a dullard. Perhaps, you'd prefer a partner with a dry, witty intelligent sense of humor as opposed to someone biting and sarcastic. If you tend to be too serious, perhaps someone who can see the lighter side of life would be a good complement. Those are better descriptions than “must have a sense of humor”.
As you contemplate your ideal partner, consider other people you know (not just romantically) and how their personalities blend with your own. For example, my grandfather was a self-made, entrepreneurial spirit who beat the odds and attained a moderate degree of success. He worked hard and their family was always financially stable. I loved that he took what he loved to do and created his own dream out of it. When I was considering my ideal partner, I looked to his example of someone who works hard, knows what they want, is ambitious but not greedy, who takes initiative and doesn't let setbacks defeat them.
I contemplated what I admired most about the people who helped shape my life and those were the traits I put down on my sheet of paper. I also took some time to consider personalities of those who I loved, but didn't always gel with. For me, this was an opinionated aunt who loves to argue, rather than debate or discuss a topic. I appreciated her passion and enthusiasm, but couldn't stand the “bully pulpit” tactics. She was always looking to "win" an argument, from a place of ego, not from a place of wanting to banter about ideas with an open mind. That helped me determine that I wanted someone who cherished a good debate - but not someone who wanted to argue for the sake of argument or to be "right".
This detailed analysis is where your perfect partners personality is developed. Through reflection, you gain clarity about precisely what you admire and want to see in someone you intend to spend your life with. You also discover what you cannot tolerate or accept.
As you do this, write it down. Take a piece of paper and fill it full of what you DO want. Only consider what you don't want for as long as it takes you to understand what you do need. Be very detailed and take your time with this exercise. This isn't a one sitting kind of thing, it takes weeks or months to complete it fully.
Why do this exercise?
Clarity of intention is necessary for attracting what we truly want.
Helps you to better understand yourself and those who have deeper personal understanding tend to attract healthier relationships.
Allows you to know very quickly when you meet someone if they are going to “make the grade”. Although this sounds dismissive, when you are dating with the intention of finding a long-term relationship it can be helpful to know and not waste time pursuing those who are not well suited.
Now chances are your ideal partner is not going to match your list 100%, but they should be aligned with the most important of your specifications and you will know almost right away if they embody enough of those traits to be worth pursuing, or if you should continue your search.
These simple techniques will help you in your quest for your perfect mate and prevent you from wasting time trying to make others fit a version of them you want to see. So many relationships are started with the idea of "he'll change" etc. In a true, well-matched partnership, the other person shouldn't have to change for you to be happy. If you are expecting the other person to become someone else, it's a good indication that you are not with the right partner.
Seek Your Own Fulfillment First
You Must BE what it is you hope to attract
This is the second part of the equation. Too many people have the illusion that another person is what makes you happy, or fulfills or completes you somehow. Untrue – and a false belief that leads to a lot of lonely married people out there. If you seek fulfillment vicariously you will always end up lonely and frustrated.
Law of Attraction states we must be what we hope to attract. For example, if you want more prosperity, be more generous. If you want more opportunities, be grateful for what you've already accomplished etc. If you want emotionally healthy and stable relationships, be sure you are emotionally stable and healthy yourself. This is the kicker, because most of us do not want to admit when we have shortcomings in this area that may be leading us astray.
If you want to be fulfilled in a relationship, you have to find what fulfills you personally first. If you are empty yourself, you cannot give to others what you do not already have within you. Fulfillment starts with the self, and then flows outward towards others.
Makes sense - so how do you do this?
Consider the first exercise where we painted a picture of the perfect partner. As you did this, you likely started to recognize things about yourself as well. Perhaps you discovered some aspects of your own personality that you would like to further develop. Start here.
For example, say you are very introverted and shy yourself, but you are usually attracted to people who are very outgoing and confident. Start working on things that will help you become more confident and outgoing. Sure, you may never become a social butterfly, but you can do things that instill more confidence and get you closer to where you want to be. This builds you up and helps align your energies with the right partners.
Perhaps as you made your list you decided your partner would have a lot of the same interests or hobbies you enjoy or are curious about. Take time to pursue those hobbies or interests and you will not only find something personally rewarding, but may find opportunities to meet someone who enjoys the same things you do.
The more you know yourself, the easier it is to find that what fulfills you. When you find personal satisfaction and peace you will naturally attract others who are fulfilled and at peace. After all, no one wants a needy, clingy partner who depends on them for their own sense of self-worth. If you find you tend to become these less than desirable things - jealous, insecure, etc. take time to correct these bad habits by building your own sense of self-worth and value.
In short: Become the type of partner you wish to attract.
Below are two books I personally recommend for those looking to better understand universal laws and how to find/maintain truly healthy, happy relationships. Many of us are never taught how to ensure that our relationships are healthy; learning more about human behavior (including our own) helps guide healthier choices.
Have You Used Universal Laws Successfully?
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- Universal Law of Divine Oneness Explained
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- Universal Laws The Law of Compensation Explained
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- 7 Simple Tips for Using Law of Attraction Successfully
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© 2012 Christin Sander