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How to WIN Your Ex-Boyfriend Back Permanently

Updated on November 4, 2015
How to WIN Your Ex Boyfriend Back Permanantly
How to WIN Your Ex Boyfriend Back Permanantly

Do you remember the sweet cherished moments that he and you shared together? Would you like to create such moments with him again?

The fact that you are reading this blog post means that you have a deep inner DESIRE to get him back.

The question you should ask yourself is not ‘Will I get him back?’ What you must ask yourself is ‘Will I Do whatever it takes to WIN him back?’

It might be for the first time in your life that you desperately want something or someone and you cannot have it. When it comes to motivation, this is the most peek moment that you can feel in your life.

The fact that you crave so DESPERATELY to WIN your boyfriend back is a Good thing.

Why is it Good?

Because, NOW you can use this deep Inner Super craving energy of getting him back to your own advantage.

You can use this energy to TRANSFORM and GROW yourself to such an extent that even you would be surprised to know what you could achieve in Love and in Life.

Continue reading the post only if you are truly committed to getting him back. The technique that I am about to offer you require time, patience, commitment, overcoming the internal resistance and also going through a hell lot of pain.

When I was searching on Google Keyword Planner for the number of times in a month girls all over the world typed a keyword on Google to get back their boyfriend, here is what I found

How to Get your boyfriend Back- 8,100 times/month

How to Win Your Ex-Boyfriend back-590 times/month

There is a reason why I have named the blog title as How to WIN Your Ex-Boyfriend Back instead of How to GET Your Ex-Boyfriend Back.

There is a vast difference betting Getting and Winning. Getting can be just wishing or hoping that he will come back to you whereas winning him back requires effort, going through pain and hard work.

The technique that I am about to show is easy to understand and yet the most difficult technique ever to perform that you might have come across but it is also one that might offer you the BIGGEST Guarantee to get him back. A bigger guarantee because we are going to take the help of Psychology.

More on this later.

Would the technique work?

Depends on how much effort you are about to put in.

What if I'm all in?

Even if you put all your efforts, every drop of energy that is left within you and even then he doesn't come back to you then you can easily conclude without bias that he wasn't worth it and you can sleep easily for the rest of your life knowing that ‘At least You Tried and Gave It Your BEST SHOT”

What I am Not Going To Cover

I am not going to advice you here on ‘how to text’, ‘what to type in the text message’, ‘Don’t be Needy’, ‘don’t show you’re needy’, ‘Avoid him for a month’ or any other thing.

I find most of these advices a bit manipulative, counter-productive and in the long term ending up doing more harm to the relationship then good.

E.g. When you use No Text Messaging for 30 days, you are making him realise what he misses (loss). He forgets why you two broke off and comes back to you again. But then 2-3 months again into the relationship, the problems start and the break up happens again. This cycle of on and off continues until one finally says it is enough. The problem with No Text messaging is that it doesn’t talk about the root of the problem i.e. ‘Why didn’t the relationship work in the first place?’

The only reason advices such as ‘No Text messaging’ are given become girls want their ex back without doing any of the hard work it takes. They want something QUICK and EASY, even if it doesn’t work in the end. They never ever know what really went wrong in the relationship so they never even try FIXING it in a right way.

Manisha's Story

Manisha had met her boyfriend for the first time at her friend’s house. The next time they had met, he had asked her out on a date.

Six months into their relationship and they started having trouble with each other. The problems were common. They used to fight, couldn’t take off the right time to meet each other, argued a lot, sometimes calling names to each other in public and a lot more.

Finally, both fed up with the troubles caused by each other, they broke up after 1.5 years.

But then 7 days after the break up, Manisha started remembering him again. She decided she would change this time. She used the tactics of messaging, avoiding for the first 30 days, making him emotional on the phone by reminding him of the lovely moments that they had shared together. Within the first 3 months of breaking up, she and her boyfriend got back together.


Three months into the relationship and they started having the same old relationship problems again.

She had procrastinated that she would change after bringing him back. But now she wouldn’t even try and neither her boyfriend. All they would FIGHT over about was ‘He/She doesn’t care about me’

They broke up again after 9 months. But got back together again within a few months. And the whole cycle repeated again.

This is the story of one of my friends.

Were they happy in the relationship?

Of course not. In the beginning they were but now they weren’t.

Could they live without each other? No. They were attracted to each other like TWO MAGNETS.

So, why couldn’t the relationship work?

It is because when they were in a relationship they were violating its First RULE which is.

‘In order for a relationship to SUCCEED in the long term, it must thrive and GROW, and the only way a relationship can GROW is when the boy and the girl in the relationship must themselves grow first.

Most relationships DIE off because they don’t grow. And the reason they don’t grow is because the boy and the girl in the relationship itself don’t grow.

The only way to bring back your previous relationship to LIFE is for you to grow.

What do I mean by grow?

It means constantly improving yourself every day mentally, emotionally and physically.

More on how to achieve improvement in the three areas of life later.

REMEMBER: To bring your ex back, begin working on yourself first. Don’t make the procrastinating mistake that Manisha is making of believing that she will grow once her boyfriend gets back. You do not want to repeat her story do you?

Using The Psychology Of INFLUENCE to WIN Your Ex Back

Robert Chaldini in his best-selling book ‘The Psychology of Influence and Persuasion’ talks about one of the ways to attract someone towards you is ‘Social Proof’

What he means is to let yourself be talked about by other people, and the person who is at the receiving end (i.e. your boyfriend) automatically gets attracted to you again.

The Technique works like this

The best way for people to start talking or obsessing about you is by giving them an element of surprise. When they see you as becoming a person they had never imagined in their life.

Start focusing on growing your best points and reducing your negative points to such an extent that yours and your ex-boyfriends friends start talking about the change in you ‘The NEW, HIGHLY EVOLVED YOU’ automatically.

“Hey Jeff. Did you see the picture that Anne uploaded last night? She is becoming way prettier day by day. Look at the number of Likes she got!”

“Hey Jeff. We met Anne yesterday. She looks more Happier. What is wrong with her?”

The point is not to show people how happier you are by hiding your misery and faking it OR by editing your picture with Photoshop to look prettier. This is surely the fastest way to losing the chances of getting your ex back permanently.

Wake up each day on a MISSION to transform yourself completely. Go to the gym or run, dance, read, climb Mount Everest. Do whatever it takes and by the time people start talking about the BEST YOU, they wouldn’t know how much of the pain, sweat and struggle that went in accomplishing and building the new habit.

Imagine how DESPERATE your boyfriend will become to come back to you when he sees this transformation in you.

How to Grow Yourself and Become AWESOME

To become AWESOME you need to create a new habit first. And to do that you have to think about what you want to change and improve upon that will bring your ex back to you permanently.

STEP 1: Write down three things that attracted him in the past towards you the most. Was it your happy nature? Your intelligence? The way you handled any situation?

STEP 2: Write down one thing that he hated about you the most. Was it your anger? Your habit of not trusting him?

STEP 3: Create 2 habits starting from tomorrow morning-

A. that by doing it will result in directly increasing his attraction towards you the most and

B. that would help you reduce one of your behaviours that disliked him the most.

Example: If he liked your Boldness. Work on it more. Start exercising and become bolder physically or start putting yourself in situations where you mentally and emotionally become bolder.

If he hated your anger, start meditating or punish yourself by giving 10 $ to the girl you hate the most whenever you become angry towards someone or something.

Another Way to Identify Where You can GROW and become AWESOME

All your problems in life are in the mind. To identify the problems and help yourself grow you must understand the mind first.

According to the neuroscientist Paul Maclean our mind is divided into three parts

  1. Physical e.g. Body, Beauty, being territorial
  2. Emotional e.g. high emotional intelligence, always looking to solve people's problems
  3. Logical e.g. curiosity, geekiness, learning new things.

Now each of us is good at two of them and utterly miserable in the other.

Lets take an example of the character from the TV series Ugly Betty. She is smart, hardworking and a writer. She is super amazing at logic and good at emotions. But when it comes to the physical part on a scale of 1 to 10 she is a 1.

When she works on the physical part of herself (beauty), how transforming does her life become? You Bet!

Before and after TRANSFORMATION of Betty from the TV Series Ugly betty
Before and after TRANSFORMATION of Betty from the TV Series Ugly betty

Now, assume and imagine that she had a boyfriend and broke up with him before her transformation. After her transformation how motivated would her boyfriend be to return back to her again?

Another example: If you are good at emotions and the physical aspect of yourself and weak at logic then it might be very hard for you to understand what I am saying.

Examples of some people who are super amazing at one part of the mind

Marie Curie
Marie Curie
  1. Physical – Scarlett Johansson, Charlize Theron in the movie ‘Mad Max Fury Road’
  2. Emotional – Oprah Winfrey
  3. Logical – Amelia Earhart, Marie Curie

Here is how you can apply Paul Maclean’s knowledge

STEP 1: Decide and select the part of the mind which you are weak ate.g. Anger issues (emotional)

STEP 2: Decide on a habit that would help you improve. E.g. Meditation.

STEP 3: Work on making the habit a part of your life. E.g. 10 Minutes of meditation 4 times a week.

Another example: If you select being more happy (emotional), then ask yourself what would make you more happy? Is it taking dance lessons, guitar lessons or any other thing? Then you join that class. Within a week or two you will realise how joyful you are starting to become. Also, you will be making new friends here which is a good thing if you want to work more on the emotional part of your life.

Also, what you choose doesn’t have to be the part that you are weak at. You can also grow the part of yourself that you are good at and make it better.

Showing Everyone How AWESOME You Have Become!

Once you have changed and become AWESOME, the remaining 3 steps become very easy.

If you are working on the physical aspect of yourself e.g. Weight Loss, then you can use Facebook to your own advantage. If it is something like emotional then people will start finding you more happier. Look for signs where someone might compliment you on being happy.

Taking INSPIRATION from A Movie

If you want some inspiration in winning your ex-boyfriend back then Legally Blonde starring Reese Witherspoon is the movie you must WATCH.

Her character is portrayed as being good at the physical and emotions part but weak when it comes to logic.

In this movie when Reese Witherspoon as Elle Woods gets dumped by her boyfriend, she decides to follow him to Harvard law school to get him back.

In the process she rediscovers herself and transforms her life by 360 degrees.

How does she land up in Harvard when she has never even read a book properly in her entire life and that too Law? It is some sheer willpower and also some DESPERATION to get her ex-boyfriend back?

In the end does she WIN her Ex-Boyfriend back?

WATCH IT to find out.


Q. Isn’t my Ex also guilty of not growing when we were in a relationship?

A. Yes. He too is. But remember, once you begin the cycle of growing and get him back, by looking at you as an inspiration, he too will be challenged to grow. Then a new cycle will start and you will be able to keep your ex with you permanently.

Q. When I start improving upon myself should I tell this to my boyfriend?

You can. But I would advise that you shouldn’t. The best way to convince him is to show him ‘THE END RESULT’ i.e. SOCIAL PROOF. This technique will work only if someone tells him about your transformation and not you.

P.S. If you like this post don't forget to SHARE IT. If you have any questions you can put it down in your comments below or you can contact me directly at


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