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How to Write a Singles Ad (for men)

Updated on January 22, 2012

Writing a singles ad isn't rocket science, but if you're not mindful of what and how you write, you could end up attracting a boatload of nutters and repelling the ladies you'd actually like to meet. At 35, I've read my fair share of personals ads over the years, as I've always been a big fan of internet dating. In an age where using sites like Badoo is totally commonplace and no longer taboo, you have a huge playing field in front of you, with lots of single chicks just waiting for you to strut out onto the pitch. So use these tips and give yourself an edge in separated the loonies from the ladies.

Avoid sounding bitter

Ads that read like a bitter, angry letter to the ex who left you standing at the alter will surely be read in their entirety, but they will never get a reply from a woman who isn't damaged goods. A sane, adjusted woman will never contact a man who seems to still be hanging on to a hatred of his ex, because she will worry that you'll take that hostility out on her, just because she's female. Now, that's not to say you shouldn't share your history with her at some point, but you need to let that sort of thing come out naturally, on its own. Don't shove it down her throat in a singles ad, which is pretty much the first impression you're going to make.


Don't be too specific about body type

If you're looking for someone with Barbie's dimensions, this is perfectly ok with me. Hell, women have a type of some sort in mind as well, believe me. But I highly recommend you not mention it in your singles ad, because this will put off any normal woman reading it, whether she's got those dimensions or not. You'll be able to guess whether or not she meets your criteria when she sends you a photo -- so let her do that, and go from there.

Do mention your status

And when I say status, I mean be clear about whether or not you are single, divorced or separated. The last is something that is quite important to me, personally, as I don't date anyone who is separated, because I view it as being married. Which it actually is... So it's better to be upfront about these things in advance to avoid developing an interest in someone who, for whatever reason, may have a rule about not dating someone with your particular status. This is also the place where you should mention if you've got kids and whether or not they live with you.

List your best characteristics

Are you a good listener? Courteous? Helpful? Kind? Warm and fuzzy? These are traits that men very rarely list in their personals ads, but they are traits that women often feel quite drawn to. These things are not going to make you sound like a wuss, they are going to make you sound evolved and mature. So if you've got any of these sorts of characteristics, this is where the bragging out to come in.

Don't say you're not looking for a relationship

This is one of the stupidest things men write in a singles ad. Yes, you are. Looking for a relationship, I mean. If you weren't, you wouldn't be writing a singles ad on a dating site, you'd be looking for a one night stand on some sort of adult site. And the women who read, "Not looking for a relationship" in your ad will be put off, even if only on a subconscious level. Now, it's perfectly ok to say you want to take things slowly and see what happens, as this tells a woman she's got a chance. But if you basically tell her she hasn't got one, you're only going to get replies from nutters, and I can't say I'd have much sympathy for you if you do!


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