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How to Write a Singles Ad (for women)

Updated on January 22, 2012

Women tend to be better at expressing their needs than most men, and that's great -- if you've already landed the man of your dreams. But if you're in the process of finding Mr. Right, you want to take care with the way you word your singles ad, or you risk scaring off the good ones before you've even had a chance to converse by email. And all that leaves are the psychopaths, and please believe me when I tell you, you don't want to date one of those. If you really want to land a great guy, you're going to need to express yourself in a manner in which does not scare him off at line one.

Don't show your baggage

We've all got at least a little baggage dragging along behind us, even if some are better at hiding it than others. And it's ok to tell the man of your dreams about this baggage once you've landed him, but don't go shoving it into your singles ad like it's some kind of badge of honor, cos you'll only be hearing from psychopaths if you do. Really. Having a history is one thing, but if you give the impression that you're still living in the past, no normal man is going to want to date you, and you can't really hold that against him, can you?


Don't be too casual

Some women go to the opposite extreme and fill their ads with quips about just out to have a good time, or seeing what the world has to offer, etc. If this is really what you want to do, don't do it on a real dating site, because all you're going to attract are similarly minded men. Be honest. That doesn't mean you need to say you can feel your clock ticking and you need to have a child within the next year, but you should still be clear and say you want to take it slow but hope to find a genuine partner at some point.

Avoid sounded needy or clingy

No one likes an octopus, so don't present yourself as one. Also, don't go overboard with adjectives like, "warm, caring, sensitive, giving, understanding" etc. Lovely though these traits are, some men will read them as being too motherly. Compassionate and kind are good words without sounding too needy. At the same time, don't try to come off like a cold-hearted witch, because the only man who's going to respond to that sort of ad will be either the world's biggest wimp, or the world's biggest jerk.

Be realistic

Don't start your ad out by saying you're looking for Prince Charming, or anyone tall, dark and handsome. Men will likely read this as having been written by a woman who lives in a fantasy world. That, and it may also make a good man, who actually comes close to that description, feel as though he can't compete -- and you'll miss out on a man who could've been Mr. Right!

Listing your status

If you've got kids, they should be mentioned up front. Some men are not willing to take on that sort of responsibility and that is their choice -- you owe it to them to be direct from the start. This will also help to weed out the guys you wouldn't want to be involved with anyway. I mean, if you've got kids, would you really want to date anyone who didn't at least like kids? This will also apply to the age range you're interested in... be aware that many men over 30 will already have been married at some point, and likely already have a kid or two of their own. If you're only interested in single men between 35 and 40 who've never been married and have never had kids, they are out there -- but they are unlikely to be the sort you'd want to cavort with!

The photo

The photo is really important. Not because you need to be a supermodel, but because you need to be honest. A lot of women over 30 will post a photo from their early 20s. This is stupid and not fair -- it's also very dishonest. The same goes for weight. If you show an old photo where you were 120 lbs but are not 220 lbs, you are lying to men taking the time to contact you, and that is wrong. Same goes for men who do this, and plenty of them do, but women are more forgiving of appearance than men, and that is why I've included it here. Use a recent photo that clearly shows your face and gives some idea of your body type -- and of course, he should be doing the same for you.


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