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Few tips to get accepted and become best Daughter in Law.

Updated on March 18, 2011

Tips to get settled and live a happy married life

Getting married and living happily is every girls dreams. But have you ever thought why ones a girl is engaged or the marriage day is fixed she starts getting panic or tensed. Why is she stuck with too many questions and gets worried. The only answer for such kind of behavior is that she thinks,"will she get the same love and affection which she receives from her parents", "Will the new family accept and welcome her whole heartedly". It's a natural human tendency and if you are one of those girls, here is something for you which will help you to fulfill your dream of living happy married life.

When I got engaged same thoughts were rolling in my mind and then I asked myself, "Is it that difficult or impossible" and I got an answer as "No". I feel nothing is impossible ,if u have a strong will to achieve something no one can ever stop you. And always remember, like you all the other human beings are just hungry for love,respect etc.

Its been 2yrs and today I am living a happy married life with my husband,2 beautiful twin daughters and very loving and supportive in laws. They are very understanding and I get the same place as my husband has in our family. I am a part of the group who take important decisions in our family.The journey was not that easy,you need to sacrifice,compromise and let go many things to reach at this place.

I would like to share few tips which helped me to adjust myself and get the love and affection from my in laws.

Here we go :

Few things before getting married :

  • The first thing you need to do once you get engaged is know your spouse as much as you can. Try to communicate with him and know what type of relation he shares with his family members.
  • Once you start understanding him,the next step would be to talk more about his family members. Such as his parents,siblings etc. Try to know about them,what they like,dislike etc.
  • Once you are aware and know about the family members it will really help you a lot to adjust in that family.

These were the things you need to remember before you get married but your real work starts once you get married and are actually a part of that family.

Remember these key words:

1) Learn: I do understand every girls parents teach as much as they can to their daughters from childhood but still you also need to understand that every house has a different way of working,so before doing any work try to ask your mother or sister in law about their way of doing that work,specially when it comes to cooking, stand beside your mother in law or sister in law and observe how they are cooking. Try to take few tips and use them when you are cooking in the kitchen. It will be really helpful to cook food of their taste.

2) Patience : The second most important thing which every girl should have is "Patience". There might be times when you did some mistake or few things went wrong and you might have to listen some harsh words from your in laws. So here your patience will help you,just be patient and listen quietly to them because it was your mistake. But sometimes you might not be at fault and still you have listen from them,its a difficult thing, but again you need to be patient and be quiet. I will explain you how it will helpful.

a) If it wasn't your mistake and you were quiet, they will soon realize that they did a wrong thing in scolding you and will think twice before telling you anything next time.

b) But when you were at fault assure them that you will not repeat the same mistake again. This will not only help you personally but will also make your in laws realize that you have the ability to improve yourself and will start building a good relation with you.

3) Sacrifices and Compromises : Life is full of sacrifices and compromises. You have to compromise at each and every level of life. And its not a bad thing. Its helpful because sometimes compromising or sacrificing for few important things can bring you near to your dear ones. So learn to compromise and sacrifice.

4) Loving and respecting your in-laws : Its true that no one can take your parents place but why don't we think that our husband's parents are also like our parents. Even they need the same love and respect which we give to our parents. So try behaving same way with your Father and Mother in law the way you behave with our own mother and father. Trust me if do this, sooner or later they will realize it and give you more love than they receive from you.

5) Accept and think "Its my home and family" : Reduce talking about your parents house in front of your in laws and start relating yourself with them.Always think that now this is my family and house and you have to give your best to keep them and yourself happy.

6) Be friends with the kids, try to share your thoughts if you have any younger sister in law or brother in law. Treat them as your younger brother or sister. Talking to them and sharing thoughts will create a very good relation between you and them.

7) Last but not the least,winning your in laws heart is important but keep in mind that during this process you are not neglecting your husband. If yes,than stop doing that. You are a part of that family is just because of your husband. So try to keep him happy as well. Build your relation with trust,understanding,love and care.

One most important thing: Never complain about anyone to your husband. Never discuss any negative thing about his family with him. If incase you felt bad for anything told by any of your in laws never let it reach till your husband. This way you will never mix both this relations and this will never hamper your relation with any of these.

As I said nothing is impossible. So If you try working on these easy tips you will really be happy. All the Best.


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      Rupali 10 months ago

      Same here married since one year and mother in law always pretend to b sick and doesnt help in single chores of the house.How go deal

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      shivani 2 years ago

      Hi, I'm staying with in-laws from 2 years

    • profile image

      naina 2 years ago

      Meri shadi ko 4 saal ho gaye lekin abtak mai apni saas ko maa ka darja nhi de paayi kyu ki who jyada frankly baat nhi krti jitna pucho utna hi jawab deti h aur agar mjhse koi galti ho jaye to wo mjhe batane k bajay mere pati ko bata k jhagda karwa deti h ,pati ko kehti hoon to wo mjhe hi gussa karte h main kya karun btaye.

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      pri 2 years ago

      hello, this is a very good article and i loved it, once i am married i would surely follow your article and would see a good result soon.

      thank you so much.

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      indu Ashok Kumar 2 years ago

      Hi I am recently married my in laws Is so sweet but my sister in law I have a big problem she is using all my things even my fav saree ending up with my cosmetics as she is fat she will use my leggings I'm lean please imagine how can I use. next time indirectly I conveyed to her n thru u my Husband no response help me out

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      simran 3 years ago

      1 Silence is better than 1000


      Sister-in-law acts to be best friend but when

      Things turn wrong on their side puts whole blame on u.

      Never ask ur husband opinions on behalf of his family.

      Never trust a man who share all your chat with his family.

    • profile image

      rose 3 years ago

      Hi my mother in law wants my daughter to live with her at her house.. How can this be possible.. me and my daughter can't love without each other...

    • profile image

      naina 3 years ago

      My mother in s a good woman with lot of we always hav a good relaton.i treated her as my mother.

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      Vanrish 5 years ago

      Hi friends,m sorry I was out of touch with my hubs from almost a year....I know,sometimes when I read similar articles,even I feel them impracticle. But trust me with time I have realised that sometimes these tips work. At times we have to handle situations very maturely.

      For reshmi,if I case ur mom in law is bitter with u n she finds different ways to start quarrel,so in that case I ll advice what I follow these days n trust me it has helped me a lot. Earlier when she used to say anything bitter to me I used to react immediately n back answer her. But from last few months,if she taunts me or try to take out any fault of mine,I listen to her quietly,give a smile n go to another room,engross myself wt my daughters or do some cooking. I make sure I go in front of her after few mins,n when I go to her I start a conversation on different topic. M not writing this just for giving time pass lecture,but this has helped me to make a peaceful atmosphere in my family n also built good relations with my mom in law.

      U know my mom says there loads of power in keeping quiet at times,it works more than verbal conversation.

      Janvi,u r just like me,even I was a very caring n loving person,but some people dint realise the worth. Hence with time I have learnt to maintain a distance with the people who don't value ur good quality. I would say,respect ur sis in law,fulfill all ur responsibilities but on the same time maintain a good distance so that she doesn't get a chance to abuse u or quarrel with u.

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      asha7860 5 years ago

      A very boring article..soothing to read but very impractical !!!

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      janvi 6 years ago

      these all are easy to say but trust me very difficult to follow. i have been married for 9months and do not yet have a good relation with my sis-in-law inspite of giving so much love and care.

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      reshmi 6 years ago

      now if my mom-in-law behaves bitterly with me with an attitude of starting quarrel, then what to do. Should not I inform my husband?If life turns muserable then also should nt i tell him?