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How to be Awesome at Online Dating

Updated on January 2, 2011

How to Rule at Online Dating

Meeting someone online isn’t all too different than meeting someone at a bar. Think that no alcohol is involved? Think again, since its not uncommon for people to sit at their computer with a glass of wine or sipping their favorite alcoholic beverage on a lonely evening looking through face after face to see one that connects.

Online dating seems to get a bad rap, as creepy and desperate, but in reality, its more intelligent and efficient. If anything, it’s a valuable resource to add to your repertoire.

On a typical week, getting home every night from work around 7pm, with really only a handful of hours free an evening, throw in friends, family, work events and most days seem to pass on by. Unless you’re actively talking to every person you see, a relationship is the last thing you’ll be stumbling on. But its not to say that you don’t enjoy the company of someone, you’ve just built a life too busy to “naturally” find that person.

But with the explosion of online dating and the barriers and misconceptions coming down, there is consequently a greater number of people venturing online, therefore creating a better likelihood of finding someone who you can connect with.

So jumping ahead, you’ve already decided to take the plunge and set up a profile, what next? Or what should you do? How do you make it all work for you?

Your picture is your gateway. Most people would agree, that they shop the profile pictures, simply scrolling through users clicking on a pretty face, attractive body.

For a guy, put up a picture with a knockout smile, keep it simple, no raunchy, shirtless, pictures.

For a woman, lets face it, a pretty face is nice, but including your body is what will seal the deal. Guys will click on a pretty face, but an attractive body is a sure fire way to get checked out. Even if you don’t have a smoking hot body or think you are “average”, it doesn’t matter. People are drawn to their own expectations about themselves. Besides, you’re going to have to step outside behind the screen eventually. Not like you can hide it.

Don’t lie about your height guys. Nothing could be more disappointing to a woman who thinks she’s talking to Mr. 6 Footer and you step out as barely 5’9”. No second date for you.

The basics are all you really need. People really only focus on height, weight, if you’re divorced and have kids. After that, its just a matter of yes, or no. Is this picture an attractive person or not. From there, its time to chat it up.

Don’t invest too much time or effort into writing an elaborate profile, or emailing back and forth relentlessly. This is all time wasted if upon meeting, the picture and the person don’t match and there is little to no chemistry between you.

 

Save your time for actually meeting up, if that is what you’re after. But don’t make elaborate dates. Skip fancy dinner’s, or activity laden events. Keep it simple to a meeting at Starbuck’s or desert at your favorite restaurant. The downside of “online dating” is that it takes a little more time than simply first glance at a bar to determine if this person is someone who interests you. So to minimize this, spend as little time as possible figuring out if this person is a catch. You’ll know 2 minutes after your date walks into the room if this has any potential or not.

 

The notion that it is simply a meeting place for “hook-ups’ is not really accurate. After all, sexual motivation is what draws us towards people most often anyways, online or out in the world makes no difference.  At all times, its you who are in control of what and how everything plays out.

 

If you’re uncomfortable about the whole thing, then maybe it isn’t for you, so leave your profile off and keep the system moving for those who see it for what it is. A resource to meet people you wouldn’t have otherwise gotten to meet.

 

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