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How to be a good and understanding wife

Updated on November 16, 2013

'Marriage is like a song, where the Lord's sweet melody of love comes from two hearts joined as one, husband and wife'-Unknown quotes

The success of any marriage is dependent on love the couples share between them. The love they shared and enjoyed before marriage should be kept alive even years after marriage. Both of you should work towards making your marriage happy, but a woman finds it easier to adjust and tolerate mistakes than her husband and that is why the happiness of a household is mainly a woman’s prerogative.

But one sad factor very noticeable nowadays is with both husband and wife going to work it has become a war of egos between couples in most families. The patience your mother and grandmother showed in pulling a family together is now slowly disappearing. The working woman say that the woman of yester days had no need to go outside to work and so led a more relaxed life.

Nothing can be farther from truth. With no modern technologies and a planned family life that today’s woman enjoy, the former generation had to cope up with large families and had to do every household chores manually. I can remember my grandmother cooking for her fifteen grandchildren and also for about eight servants.

A man will always want certain things from his wife and if it is fulfilled will become completely dependent on his wife.

No man likes a nagging wife. It is basically a woman’s nature to be fidgety. You keep on saying things over and over again till your husband gets completely put off. Instead you can be mild in your words and say whatever you want to say with a smile. Say it once and leave it. Do not talk back when he is in anger. Wait for his anger to cool down and when he comes to make up with you, do not go back to what happened and nag him for his temperament.

It is good if your husband shares your household work, but if he doesn’t, do not be too critical and irritable towards him. A woman has immense capacity to handle work, so why don’t you use it, instead of being grumpy. A man feels cozy and secure when his wife is there to look after him.

Men love eating, whereas a woman adjusts with whatever is available at home. Make it a happy and welcome duty to cook his favorite dishes for him. You cook your children’s most favorite food without any second thinking, but what about your husband? You want him to eat whatever you make. Cook with his taste in mind. Serve him with a loving smile and man loves his wife who sits with him and serves when he is having his food.

Do not take your fight or argument into the bedroom. You should make him happy in the bed as a man is more prone to physical hunger. It is a wife’s duty to satisfy him. Look and smell good when you are with him. Do not talk anything that might irritate him and put him off his mood, as an unsatisfied man in the bedroom tends to be harsh and irritable when the day dawns.

Try to look presentable when he returns from office and greet him with a warm smile. Some women do not know the importance of looking good. A presentable appearance soothes his tired mind and gives him a happy state of mind.

Another aspect which your husband hates is the calls you make during work hours to make complaints about this and that. He loses his momentum and carries same mood back home. Also give him some freedom to do certain things he wants to do, like meeting his friends, or watching his favorite TV channels.

Your husband becomes completely dependent on you when he feels secure and happy with you. He feels a vacuum in himself when you are not with him. Actually a marriage is successful when both husband and wife share that unique bond which is build upon love, trust, tolerance, compatibility and wonderful sense of belonging.

‘She is but half a wife that is not, nor capable of being a friend’- William Penn

Yes, you should be your husband’s best friend and if your husband turns and seeks you to share everything in his life, you as a wife has accomplished a wonderful bond with your husband which will give you an encompassing happiness.

© 2011 mathira

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    • profile image

      Greg 

      24 months ago

      my wife need to read this...

    • samiwilliams profile image

      Samantha Williams 

      5 years ago from Afton, Wyoming

      What a wonderful article. To be quite honest with you, I have never looked at it in such terms. Especially with today's society. However, basics and roots always work best. Trying to change something doesn't always work. I will be keeping this in mind as I continue through my marriage. Thank you!

    • profile image

      Sonia 

      5 years ago

      This is a very good article mathira if all women can behave like you have mentioned then i guess problems will be few in marriages...

    • profile image

      Raj 

      5 years ago

      The above points are good but only talk about what a wife should do in everyday's life. What also and more matters is what type of nature a wife shuld have. I wife first needs to have some level of trust and should not keep suspecting her husband.... A husband should create small surprises for his loving wife. But if he is suspected unnecessarily, he will not create all those surprises at all.

      A wife should really love him, give more importance to him than her own parents and family. And if a man is angry, try to understand the reason.... IF the reason is illogical or unreasonable, a wife need not agree to it. In that case, she can politely tell that.

      Lastly, a husband can be angry for reasons which might look silly and small to his wife. Actually, small or big is a perception. A reason can be small or silly for one but major serious for someone else. So, if something which is bothering your husband, you should take it seriously.

    • mathira profile imageAUTHOR

      mathira 

      6 years ago from chennai

      Thank you soma.

    • profile image

      soma 

      6 years ago

      hi mathira,

      Really a good article.. keep the good work...:-)

    • mathira profile imageAUTHOR

      mathira 

      6 years ago from chennai

      Thanks for your visit Rubanraj.

    • Rubanraj profile image

      Rubanraj 

      6 years ago from South India

      Nice hub. Women must read and follow. Then there won't be failed marriages. In relationship, each one must understand their partner and adjust with shortcomings. Good advice.

    • mathira profile imageAUTHOR

      mathira 

      6 years ago from chennai

      Thank you fatma.

    • profile image

      fatma 

      6 years ago

      i enjoyed your how to be god wife its very interstin i love to see the next book

    • freecampingaussie profile image

      freecampingaussie 

      6 years ago from Southern Spain

      I enjoyed your hub, There would be less divorces if people followed this advice . Too many females are really bitchy these days which is sad .

    • Anil and Honey profile image

      Anil 

      6 years ago from Kerala

      Good Mathira, it is very useful especially in Indian atmosphere

    • Anil and Honey profile image

      Anil 

      6 years ago from Kerala

      Good Mathira, it is very useful especially in Indian atmosphere

    • profile image

      mathira 

      6 years ago

      Vladimir Uhri,your are right when you say that love is a decision, and thanks for visiting.

    • profile image

      mathira 

      6 years ago

      cr00059n, thank you for your wonderful comments.

    • profile image

      cr00059n 

      6 years ago

      Mathira you've done a really excellent job on this article. It's such an interesting reading. I can't help but come back and read it over again. Looking forward to your upcoming articles. Peace and Joy.

    • Vladimir Uhri profile image

      Vladimir Uhri 

      6 years ago from HubPages, FB

      mathira, I enjoyed your hub, thanks.

      I believe love is the decision besides the feeling.

    • mathira profile imageAUTHOR

      mathira 

      6 years ago from chennai

      Happy20, you are lucky and I wish you my best wishes to remain the same as you are a rare example.

    • profile image

      Happy20 

      6 years ago

      In my relationship, these behaviors come naturally to me. Never in a past relationship, but the amount of love and adoration I have for him breeds respect and these behaviors are just basic respect. He is the same to me.

    • profile image

      mathira 

      6 years ago

      A good marriage is when husband and wife respect each other and give more and more love. Tolerance, adjust-ability and proper breathing space make any marriage highly successful.

    • Kathleen Cochran profile image

      Kathleen Cochran 

      6 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      I agree. There are so many other areas where I'm grateful we have progressed, education and opportunity for women, and fighting violence against women. But in America, I do believe our children have suffered from so many failed marriages.

    • profile image

      mathira 

      6 years ago

      kathleen, I only wish everyone can go back to 1950s as far as nurturing relationships are concerned.

    • profile image

      mathira 

      6 years ago

      cr00059n,it needs sustained efforts from both husband and wife to make marriage a success. Thank you for visiting.

    • profile image

      cr00059n 

      6 years ago

      Such a moralistic and true article. It's often taken for granted that people behave as they want in relationships. This makes for a bad ending. Marriages can't be happily ever after, if wives and husbands don't cooperate.

    • Kathleen Cochran profile image

      Kathleen Cochran 

      6 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      I'm sure this makes for a loving marriage in Chennai. You would have to go back to the 1950s in America to find women who would take this advice, but then, that might be why we have so many broken marriages.

    • mathira profile imageAUTHOR

      mathira 

      6 years ago from chennai

      jaconkuttaya, you are right,times might change and people can become modern, but the concept of marriage must never change.Thank you for viewing.

    • mathira profile imageAUTHOR

      mathira 

      6 years ago from chennai

      neeta, it was encouraging to read your good comments.

    • mathira profile imageAUTHOR

      mathira 

      6 years ago from chennai

      Thanks for visiting nighthag.

    • nighthag profile image

      K.A.E Grove 

      6 years ago from Australia

      A very interesting read with so many good points that can only help foster a loving environment. I enjoyed it

    • mathira profile imageAUTHOR

      mathira 

      6 years ago from chennai

      The core of a woman should never change if she wants her family to be happy and thank you rambansal.

    • rambansal profile image

      Ram Bansal 

      6 years ago from India

      Way to man's heart passes through his belly while that to a woman's heart passes through very small lovable touches and smiles. With women staying at homes for caring the husband and children, both can be happier that with both working. Unemployment problem also gets solved by this. A good hubpage, thanks for sharing your views on a crucial issue.

    • neeta chauhan profile image

      neeta chauhan 

      6 years ago from Pakistan

      Its indeed a very useful and an interesting article which every woman should read married or single lovely points shared in the article....

    • jacobkuttyta profile image

      Siny J 

      6 years ago from Delhi, India

      Nice article. Keep up the good work.

      We are living in an era where very few find love in their marriage.

      Thanks

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