How to be a Good Wife to Your Husband - 12 Qualities a Man Looks for in His Woman
Qualities of a Good Wife
Every man wants a good wife. In turn, many will often advise a new bride to be a good wife to her new husband. What does this mean, exactly? What are the makings of a good or perfect wife? Most of these qualities are already present in a woman, while the rest can be learned or developed.
In India, the qualities of a good wife or the six noble virtues an ideal wife should have are summed up in the verse from Neethisaram: "Karyeshu Dasi, Karaneshu Manthri; Bhojeshu Mata, Shayaneshu Rambha, Roopeshu lakshmi, Kshamayeshu Dharitri, Shat dharmayukta, Kuladharma Pathni"
Below in this article, find 12 tips on being a good wife.
How to Be a Good Wife: Keeping the Man Happy
I am a film believer that what you give is what you get in return as far as human behavior is concerned. So if you are a good wife to your husband and treat him right, he will cherish, love, and nurture you in return.
Want to know how to keep your husband happy? Here are 12 qualities a man looks for in his wife.
- Be pleasant. As mentioned already, we should treat others the way we want to be treated. That being said, never be rude to your husband, family, and friends. Try to be warm, kind, positive, understanding, and friendly. Actively work to be pleasant toward your husband. Don’t be that person who lashes out at others because you had a bad day. Welcome your husband with a smile when he comes home. A good wife honors her hubby by keeping a pleasant tone in her voice, a happy smile on her face, and a neat and clean appearance. Listen to him talk about his day, especially if it was a difficult one. If you don't like how your partner treats you, take a minute to observe how you treat your partner and try correct your behavior.
- Treat him with respect. If you expect respect from others. we need to treat others in return with respect too. Haven’t we all heard "Give respect and take respect?" Respect can be reflected in the way one talks and behaves. Always speak in a loving way and refrain from speaking in a harsh manner. A good wife respects her hubby. She never chooses to belittle, strike, humiliate, or otherwise harm him in private or in public. It is better to watch what you say and think before speaking, as it is not possible to take back the words once they are said. A good wife will treat her man with respect in front of others and at home.
- Communicate. Communication is the key to a good and solid marriage. Do not hide things or keep secrets from your husband. Be honest. Find time to sit and talk with him on a daily basis, even if it is for only half an hour. If you let things bottle up and feel that you cannot share with your husband, then your marriage is in trouble. Be a good listener. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but allow him to talk first. Don't greet him with complaints and problems the moment he comes back from work. Good communication also helps to build trust and strengthen your relationship. The wife and husband are a team or partners. Do not make any major decisions about the family without consulting with husband. Fights or problems may happen, but do not let the world know about it. Rather, you should try to solve it between yourselves as partners. The fight you had last week over shopping or whatever is over and done with. So try to move on with it and stop rehashing the past and reminding him of his faults. Do not resort to name calling, hitting, spitting, breaking dishes, or anything else when you lose your temper. If you do, he may actually start to fall out of love with you and you could lose him all together. Always communicate with words and a calm mind. Breathe before you decide to act on your temper.
- Be supportive. A husband expects his wife’s support and understanding, especially in troubled. A good wife loves her hubby for his successes and failures, and provides reassurance when he's feeling down. She is a nurturer and an equal partner in the marriage. Support him in all stages of his career and life. Do not belittle your man or hurt his ego. It is often said that "a wife can make or break a man." There’s no quicker way to build resentment in your man than to criticize him or belittle him, especially in front of others. Be proud of him on his accomplishments and genuinely compliment him. You can then expect him to behave in return in the same manner and also respect you more for your support and thoughtfulness. If you don’t agree with him, respectfully let him know you don’t agree with a healthy conversation.
- Do not nag. No man likes a nagging wife. Ask him nicely. Many wives think that nagging is the only way to get her husband to do things. The truth is that your nagging can create an unwanted rift, or can make things worse between the two of you. Your husband is a grown man with his own thoughts and desires. Just because you think he should be doing something particular doesn't mean he has to do it.
- Give him his space. As a wife, it's important to understand that your husband has a life that's more than you. He has a family, friends, and colleagues who are also part of his life. He also may have hobbies and passions he is involved in. Don’t expect his undivided attention at all times. Don’t stop him if he wants to go out and hang out with his friends sometimes or engage in a hobby or sport that he likes. An interfering wife can sometimes be very irritating.
- Keep him happy in bed. Sexual intimacy is one of the most essential things in any marriage. When you please your man, he will be obliged to please you in return. Please your man in bed. If you cannot keep your man happy in bed, he may go where he can get it elsewhere. After all, a man is a man! According to research, one major reason why men cheat is mostly physical, whereas for a woman it is emotional.
- Plan surprises. Men like surprises too. It can be anything, from organizing his birthday party without him knowing about it or planning a special night of passion by playing a seductress. Your surprises do not have to be elaborate and can be as simple as making him his favorite snack or any of his favorite dishes once in a while, even if you would rather eat something else.
- Express your love and appreciation often. Men likes praises and appreciation. Make the most of your time together. Men like to hear the words "I love you" too. Also, try to join him in activities that he's interested in, even if you prefer to do something else. Give him a thoughtful gift once in a while. Make it a point never to forget the special days in his life. Pamper him often, especially when he is home. You can cook for him or give him a massage. Making him dependent on you by doing his chores when he is at home is not a bad idea either. Let him miss you and think about you when you are not around. These gestures won’t go unnoticed, and it may even inspire him to do something nice for you. Don't withhold affection.
- Be honest, loyal, and dedicated. A good wife is honest, loyal, and dedicated to her husband. Marriage is a lifelong commitment, and the vows you have taken at the time of marriage should be kept up at all times.
- Keep up your health and appearance. A good wife honors her hubby by keeping a pleasant tone in her voice, a happy smile on her face, and a neat and clean appearance. Take special care of your appearance, not just for him but for yourself. Include exercises or yoga in your daily routine to stay healthy. Be hygienic. Some woman feel that once they are married why they should dress up or take care of their appearance — this isn't true, and if you do it you should also do it because it makes yourself feel good too and that makes your husband happy also. A man also likes his wife to smell good. If you are unhealthy or not presentable, your man may start looking elsewhere.
- Maintain the house. Maintain a clean house all the time. Clear away the clutter and spend time decorating the house. Apart from this, be wise with money and take all the responsibilities of a wife seriously without complaining too much.
Do you want a good husband who will love and cherish you? Then treat him exactly the way you want him to treat you. If you want your husband to treat you like a queen, you should treat him like a king. In this modern world where most wives also work, the above advice may not be fully practical. But at least some effort can be put into exercising these tips in practice. If you are working, you may want to hire a maid to take care of the household chores of cooking, cleaning, and so forth.
I am sure any man would be happy to get a good wife with all the above-listed qualities. Also, I have some advice for the men who were overjoyed seeing this article. Remember: Marriage is a two-way street, there are two people in this relationship, and you have to play your role as well if you expect your wife to be an ideal one.
Have I left anything out? Please feel free to add comments.
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If you are looking for the Qualities of an Ideal Husband, you have come to the right place. This Hub talks about 11 Qualities of a Perfect Husband.
© 2009 Anamika S Jain