How to be a real Man's man. No Fear and no phobia? If you are fearless then you cannot be brave.
Healthy fear of a diamond back rattler is probably not a phobia.
Fearless is meaningless. I love the phrase "he really is paranoid, and someone really is following him"
Proving we are brave is just a silly impossible notion. So many folks spend so much time defining what they are rather than being what they are. I understand that there are still phobias out there that are basically a fear of being something other than our definition of ourselves. Come on, there are still those that suffer from Homophobia, Xenophobia and germ phobia. A man’s man does not have those fears. A man’s man, more importantly has many fears and phobia’s and is aware he has them. A brave man is not one without fear, he is one who overcomes fear. It is said there are no atheists in foxholes. Maybe, but I give you one that is for sure true. There are no dry foxholes. Pissing your pants is not uncommon.
“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself” FDR. There are many irrational fears and many rational ones. They do not define who we are. How we deal with them does. I really think the distinction between a fear and a phobia comes down to how it affects your life. If it prevents you from leading a relatively normal life then it is a phobia. If it prevents you from disaster and injury, a fear. The problem is in recognizing just what the fear brings about. We should not think that phobias just prevent us from doing something. In fact it is a likely motivator for many actions both good and bad. But it is difficult to attribute them to fear so we overlook the underlying cause of symptoms.
DON'T TELL ME I AM AFRAID, JUST WATCH
Maladaptive phobia issues come most normally in two styles. Anger and compulsive disorders/avoidance. As for a man’s man, this is important. You see a weaker man, will cover up his fear with inappropriate behavior rather than admit he has the fear. We think the most shy of men are the quiet ones in the corner. They are probably shy, but they came shy but not phobic. The really dysfunctional shy types are at home or they are the loudest most aggressive guys in the room. What many will think of as an extravert is in fact the introvert overcompensating to somehow shield their fear.
Daredevil adrenaline junkies and over drinkers are the most amazing of the fearful. Sometimes to prove how fearless they are and sometimes just to deceive themselves about what they really fear, and that is fear itself. Do not confuse this with competitive athletes and men who simply drink a lot. I am talking about men that are not concerned with the accomplishment, but simply are hiding from the fear. We understand the man that climbs the mountain and says I did it because it was there. But we would laugh at the man who said, I climbed it because I was afraid of it.
Cliffs and climbing them, fear is healthy
Men who know themselves are the real Man's Man
Military, first responders, ER folks, Law enforcement, Upper echelon politicians, Parents, Teachers, these roles filled by men create real men. Not the one superhuman act or a record maker, but day to day people that work hard for a living and overcome everyday fears and anxieties. These are truly a man’s man.
So that no one thinks me a braggart I confess to having done just about any bad act you can think of out of fear. I was just a fraidy cat. My shadow could spook me. I overcompensated with just about every negative behavior known. Hell I was afraid of my own successes and would sabotage them. The fear still resides further down inside of me, but I see it now. Acknowledge it now and deal with it appropriately. I do not say that I am yet a man’s man, but I do say that I understand what it means now – And it scares me ;-)