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How to become a Seductress and Not a One-Night Stand

Updated on March 17, 2012

The Art Of Seduction (every woman should read this)


This is a guide for the everyday woman of all ages and races! Most of us from the time we are little girls have idolized a celebrity who seems process that allure, that have men drooling for them. What if we could as a modern woman tap into that allure? This is a guide not only to explain in simple terms what men love about women, what keeps a man interested, how to engage a man and speak to his heart this is a guide to help transform the modern woman into a seductress! There are many, many, books, magazines, etc., out there that explain in no simple tasks how to become a seductress. The problem is for the modern woman you want real advice that speaks from not just knowledge and experience but can relate to you!

I believe that a woman with the right tools can have any man she wants and keep him. I know for a fact that the problems women have in not only being able to stand out but being able to keep the flame hot after you both become settled. Why pay for expensive therapy sessions when the answers you need are inside of you all along! Let’s begin!

One of the well known women who was a MASTER at seduction and being a seductress!
One of the well known women who was a MASTER at seduction and being a seductress!

The Art of how to engage any man to you

The problem for most women is how to get a man’s attention and get him to really think about you. Well it’s no secret that men are visual creatures and have a great sense of respect for a woman who dresses in a provocative way. Why is that? Well to break it down simply it’s not the clothes he is looking at, it is the way she walks with conviction, confidence, and overall sense of knowing what she wants. This is what attracts men. Men love when they see a woman with confidence and is comfortable with herself. The first step for any man to notice you is to have the confidence in yourself. You have to know you’re beautiful enough to attract any man because you are comfortable in your own skin. Don’t be afraid when you buy sexy clothes and wear them with pride. You don’t have to buy any explicit clothing just enough to tease and remain flirty.

When you wear them keep in mind that you’re not fat, ugly, look silly, or going overboard. Men are not as harsh as we are to ourselves. So you gained 5 pounds? No big deal. If you love your body he will too. Next step is to lock eyes with him and give a smile. When you lock eyes with a guy and don’t shy away it gives him the message that you’re not afraid of intimacy. The smile is to send him the message come get if you can. Yes for another woman this may seem silly but to a guy it’s an unspoken challenge. Guys are competitive by nature and will get your message loud and clear. Plus this gives you the upper hand because it’s signaling him to come to you.

It all starts with how YOU see yourself!
It all starts with how YOU see yourself!

How to gain his interest in you

This is the trickiest part of getting a guy because first impressions are extremely important. So you want to get it right the first time so you avoid any awkward conversations later on. There is nothing wrong with making the first move and talking to a guy. Sometimes it might even be easier especially if the room is filled with a ton of guys that will hit on you and might make the guy you want back off. Either case, whether you went to him or he to you. You want to give the right vibe from you. You’re personal energy is extremely important here that is what I mean by vibe. When you speak to him refrain from giving to much info about yourself. Try to keep smooth and turn the questioning around on him. If he asks you why are you single? Be direct, confident and say with conviction that you’re single at the moment simply because you’re keeping an open mind. Then quickly turn the question back to him. Don’t ever say because you’re looking for the one. That will put up a red flag that you’re looking for long term commitment. In simple terms you want babies, marriage, change, and want to settle him down.

This is ideally a main goal for woman but for man it screams you want more than he might want to give. By saying you’re keeping an open mind, you’re giving him the message that if he turned into Mr. Right fine but you’re looking to get to know someone and see what happens. The very next thing is to stay in control. Don’t get drunk or take anything that will make you altar you’re natural talent. You want to be friendly, inviting, but not labeled in his phone as a bar slut. Or booty call.

The key is not over play you’re hand. You can flirt, a touch, a look, but keep him in mystery. Let him ask for your number because if he is interested he won’t let you walk away without a way of talking to you again. Don’t spill on bad breakups you had or ex-boyfriends. Just find out what are his interests, what he has going for himself, and most important how independent he is. You must pay attention to these answers. You might ask I’m really a wonderful cook, it’s just a pastime I enjoy, what do you like to do on your down time? Again keep it funny. Include jokes. Don’t make it grueling like an interview but milk the information slowly. Keep a smile, sometimes you might want to give a light touch to his hand when you laugh. Look into his eyes when you ask him questions. You typically don’t want to waste your time on a man who goes from job to job every couple of weeks or months. Unless he has real reasons, but you want to find a guy with a steady job this means that he can commit to something and work at it.

You don’t want to go for the guy still at home with mom. Although it doesn’t make him a bad guy it just means you’re going to have to put in a lot more effort into him and the relationship. A guy who still is at home with his mother means that he longs for maternal woman. Meaning one who will do his clothes all the time, clean the house, cook, shop, and be a housewife for the most part. Provided that he has a good relationship with his mother, this little detail is important. You don’t want to be with a guy who treats his mother harshly because if he treats the one woman who be a major role in his life like that you will be next. If his mother is bad to him, then he may have woman issues. Meaning he might not let you inside his heart or trust you very easily.

Make him crawl and drool over you NOT the other way around!
Make him crawl and drool over you NOT the other way around!

The first date

Okay, so at this point you have given him a steady way to communicate with you directly. Don’t have unrealistic expectations. This is so big for woman. We typically stress out about will he call and if he doesn’t the next day he must not be interested. This is all myth and doubts we have drilled into are heads. You don’t want to be sitting by the phone or computer waiting or checking every hour to see if he contacted you. Just relax and remember the stage was set and now it’s time for him to do his part. You don’t want to come off super aggressive either, remain laid back and if by the third day he doesn’t call you go for broke and find someone else. Hopefully you didn’t make the mistake of sleeping with him already because to much physical contact with a male at first chance is like him winning a prize he didn’t work for. Cool the first few times then it gets boring and stale.

So if he calls you be cool and keep the conversation light and upbeat. Tell him you had a great time with him before and let him then ask you out again. Tell him that you think he is a fun guy. Don’t overstate you’re personal business by telling him about family or friend issues just yet. Guys naturally like to help but if you push to early he will feel overwhelmed or like you trapping him into your life before he has even determined if he wants to be there. The first date you want to really wow him by dressing very sexy and alluring. You want to wear a dress that clings to your body but doesn’t let anything hang out to much. You want to show some knee and a little bit of thigh. Not too high though. You want to leave some for his vivid imagination. You should wear heels that you feel comfortable walking in. Nothing is worse than having the guy hold you up all night because you wore 7 inch heels.

Light make-up is good; you don’t want to cake your face with make-up. Just keep you’re natural beauty slightly enhanced. When you’re out on your date with him refrain from drinking to excess. You want to relax and have a good time but not become a mess. Where he takes you will let you know how he perceives you. For example, if when he first met you, you drank a lot and got a little bit wilder than normal, he might take you to a bar. If you reserved yourself, he might think highly of you and want to impress you and take you to restaurant. If he thinks you’re an old fashion laid back woman, he might take you home for a home cooked meal. Either way dress to impress and show him that you’re confident. This time when you talk you want to keep the conversation alluring.

After you’re meal you might easy into a sensual conversation. Keep it flirty and tell him the things you enjoy before having sex. Tell him what turns you on. Tell him what makes you feel comfortable and uncomfortable. Never agree to go back to his place. You don’t want to seem desperate or looking for someone just to toy around with. Insist you had a great time with him and that you’re feeling more comfortable with him. Then give him a kiss and go home. The kiss should be heated. With just enough heat to tell him you want to see him again, you’re interested but then leave it at that. Don’t invite him in.

Now typically your mother’s have told you make him wait until marriage before you have sex. That is very true for teenagers because your body is still changing and you don’t want to lose control of yourself because of the extra hormones. If you’re over the age of 21 or very independent, I’m going to tell you something you may not have heard before. I think women should wait about 3-4 dates before you have sex. Four dates if you’re really feeling unsure of him.

I say this because if you don’t want to fall into the friends zone with him. You want him to be assured that you’re really into pursuing a relationship with him. The best way is not to lay next time to him and feel guilty. OR say now what? You want to be confident say you enjoyed it or if you didn’t say I really want to do this again sometime. Everyone deserves a second try to say but not right then what you didn’t enjoy. Woman may feel awkward about explaining what they didn’t enjoy but guys love feedback about sex. He will respect you for being confident enough to tell him the next time you talk about it. Also tell him what you like him to do more of.

Confidence is the most sexiest trait a woman can have!
Confidence is the most sexiest trait a woman can have!

The bottom line

The bottom line is that to keep a man you have to respect and confidence. You have to be able to read through a man who ins't interested in what you need. Men are able to discard women because they KNOW what they WANT. You have to to do, and be willing to discard them if there willing to change or man up. The difference between a boy and a man is that a boy is more or less looking to get what he wants right now. A man is looking for what he needs right now in a woman. So be strong and don't fret if he isn't the right one because with these tools you will have pleanty more men willing to put the glass slippers on your feet. :)

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    • Deborah Demander profile image

      Deborah Demander 18 months ago from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD

      Great advice. I find the most appealing thing a woman can have is confidence. If you are confident, men will flock to you. What you do after that is strictly up to you!

      Namaste

    • HaileyAdams profile image

      Hailey 4 years ago

      Great hub! I really enjoyed reading it. Good advice for women.

      Beautiful and interesting.

    • Mistressoflove profile image
      Author

      Mistressoflove 5 years ago from Rhode Island

      Average i think :) thank you for your comment yaduvanshi

    • Yaduvanshi profile image

      Yaduvanshi 5 years ago from Bharat Vrse

      What is opposite to Seductress is called

    • Mistressoflove profile image
      Author

      Mistressoflove 5 years ago from Rhode Island

      Sorry for any type-o's!Feedback of all kinds are respected. Also if you know someone who can use this advice please pass it on. Thanks ladies. :)