ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

3 Simple ways to improve your relationships by becoming a better listener

Updated on January 24, 2017

Benefits of becoming a better listener

Communication and listening is such an important skill that it is an instruction in the Bible.

In the book of James 1;19 it states" my dear brothers, take note of this: everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry."

In this statement, it's not hard to discover that God wants us to be great listeners, because of how many aspects of our lives in which poor communication effects us greatly.

positive communication benefits us in the following ways;

-improves memory and brain function

-improves relationships,and builds confidence

- improves productability and focus

-helps to develop social skills ( which helps us get jobs,networking,etc)

Being that communication affects these important, you would think that more and more people would take the time to communicate and listen more effectively,yet it is quite the opposite. In fact according to psychologist Alan Welford in 1967, the " bottleneck theory" where people can only process so much information at once before our learning starts to suffer.

How many times have we all been in conversations with others, while looking down checking our Facebook statuses or sending a quick text In the middle of someone talking? In fact I think most of us have been guilty of trying to multitask. However, to kill time by doing more at once we are actually decreasing our ability to focus and complete tasks , and then losing more time by having to go back and complete the task again because we missed something, because we were multi-tasking.

In this statement, it's not hard to discover that God wants us to be great listeners, because of how many aspects of our lives in which poor communication effects us greatly.

positive communication benefits us in the following ways;

-improves memory and brain function

-improves relationships,and builds confidence

- improves productability and focus

-helps to develop social skills ( which helps us get jobs,networking,etc)

- it can save lots of time!

Being that communication affects these important, you would think that more and more people would take the time to communicate and listen more effectively,yet it is quite the opposite. In fact according to psychologist Alan Welford in 1967, the " bottleneck theory" where people can only process so much information at once before our learning starts to suffer.

How many times have we all been in conversations with others, while looking down checking our Facebook statuses or sending a quick text In the middle of someone talking? In fact I think most of us have been guilty of trying to multitask. However, to kill time by doing more at once we are actually decreasing our ability to focus and complete tasks , and then losing more time by having to go back and complete the task again because we missed something, because we were multi-tasking. So it is in the best interest of our lives to learn to become not only better listeners,but better communicators. I believe that in order to tame the beast we must first understand it.

8 Different types of listening

1. Discriminative listening-According to researches discriminative listening is believed to develop before a baby is born. This is the most basic form of listening and does not involve the understanding of the meaning of the words, but is based on the tones of voice or sound.

example: after childbirth the baby is able to differentiate between the mother and fathers voice, the baby will respond by turning its head toward the parent that is speaking.

2. Comprehensive listening- involves understanding the message that is being communicated. Comprehensive listening is where two Different people intexpert the same message in two totally different ways.

example: in romantic relationships a woman tells the man she is upset and he thinks she is blaming him when in reality she is just venting,but he interprets as he is the reason why she is upset.

3. Informational listening- is where we listen with the purpose of obtaining and learning new information.

4. Critical listening- listening with the intent to evaluate what is being said to solve a problem or make a devision.

5. Therapeutic/Emphathic listening- listening with the attempt to completely understand what the speakers feelings and emotions are behind what is being said.

6.Appreciative listening- listening to something for enjoyment. For example: a favorite song

7. Rapport listening- Listening with the intent to build someone's trust in you. Example; a sales person will listen to the prospect to understand the prospects needs Ann/or wants, which establishes a relationship of utmost good faith.

8. Selective listening- the most common form of listening as well as least effective. Selective hearing or listening is when someone is in strong disagreement with the other person and becomes closed off to listening to other people's opinions based on their own personal beliefs.

example: a person hears the bits and pieces that they want to hear,selecting Different parts of the conversation and interpreting " broken" information.

I know it's a bit of a long article,please bear with me. I just want to make sure that I provide you with all the information to help you are able to making the decision best for you to tame the beast of effective communication skills.

Becoming a better listener in 3 easy steps:

1. Show the person you are listening to them

- Give them eye contact, say or give gestures that show your involvement

example: " I understand" , " uh- huh", smile

2. Provide feedback.

- ask questions to clarify you understand or repeat back what you just heard

-Before responding reflect and look at a persons body language

example: if someone's arms are crossed or standing up could mean that something is bothering them in a negative way. You could say soothing things such as " I understand you are upset" " everything is going to be ok"

3. Don't interrupt the person while they are talking, let them get it all out on the table. Listen to the person, without thinking what you are going to say next, that way when they are finished you are able to respond without making them upset because they think you are not listening to them.

Key points to remember:

* Old habits die hard, in fact they die so hard that research suggests that it takes at least 90 days to make or break a habit,so the more you practice the faster it will become a habit to you.

*Most people communicate with selective listening and do nothing to change it, so be proud of yourself for doing something to make the change

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)