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How to breakup with your boyfriend: Nice way to dump a guy and still be friends

Updated on July 31, 2013
Confused about how you should break up with your boyfriend without hurting him too much?
Confused about how you should break up with your boyfriend without hurting him too much? | Source

How to breakup with your boyfriend? Are there nice ways to dump a guy and still remain friends with him? Should I breakup on Facebook or by email? Will it be easier if I just send him a text message or call him? It is a misconception that you and your boyfriend will become the worst of enemies after you dump him. There is no running away from hurting him and breaking his heart, but you can reduce the pain and the blow to his self-confidence if you break up maturely.

1) Give your relationship one last chance: Tell you boyfriend your concerns

Give your relationship one last chance just for the sake of all the time and love you have put into it. Focus and find answers to these questions.

  • What is wrong with the relationship?
  • What can your boyfriend do to fix the problems?

Don't keep your plans to break up a complete secret from your boyfriend. Talk to your boyfriend and tell him honestly that you have reached your breaking point. Make it clear that you see a future of the relationship only if the issues are sorted out.

2) Prepare yourself for the breakup: Make sure it is definitely what you want

You will never be able to end your relationship on a friendly note if you are unsure of how you want to proceed. You should be sure that you want to breakup with your guy. Dumping him will have a lot of emotional and social consequences including the following.

  • You will lose out on a relationship that you nurtured
  • He may move on immediately and find a new girlfriend
  • Your relationships with mutual friends will be affected and some of your common friends will start ignoring you
  • He could say bad things about you behind your back

Be a hundred per cent sure that a breakup is what you want. Having second thoughts after you breakup with him will put you in a traumatic and an emotional whirlpool.

Don't insult your relationship by gossiping about your breakup before you tell your boyfriend.
Don't insult your relationship by gossiping about your breakup before you tell your boyfriend.

3) Be the first one to tell him: Don't gossip about your plans to breakup with your boyfriend

How would you feel if one of your friends told you that your boyfriend was planning to break up with you? That is exactly how your guy will feel if he hears about your plans to dump him from someone else.

If this happens, you will never be able to remain friends with your ex because he will see your actions as manipulative and deceiving. Avoid this major blunder by keeping your plans to yourself. If you must talk to someone to get advice, talk to your best friend who will keep this a secret.

4) Don't break up with your boyfriend on Facebook, Twitter or Email

Breaking up on Facebook, Twitter or Email is seen as one of the most cowardly things a girlfriend can do. Breaking off a relationship like this will cause a lot of pain and heartbreak for your boyfriend. The least you can do is to take responsibility and do it in person.

Breaking up abruptly may even make him think that you are trying to avoid meeting because you were cheating on him.

5) Don't break up over text message or a phone call

Some people look at text messages and phone calls as a middle ground between breaking up in person and breaking up by email or Facebook. That is completely untrue. Dumping a guy over text messages is equally rude, so don't plan on doing it.

6) Break up with your boyfriend in person: Have a private conversation

Plan for a private conversation and meet at a place where you and your boyfriend can talk without interruptions. Don't dump him when you are with your other friends or when you are at a crowded cafe where you have to shout at the top of your voice.

Be honest and be direct. Don't give him false hopes that the relationship may still have a chance.
Be honest and be direct. Don't give him false hopes that the relationship may still have a chance.

7) Be honest, be direct: Tell him why you want to break up

Breaking up is not easy and you will need a bit of courage to tell your boyfriend that you are dumping him. Be honest and direct once you start the conversation.

Assuming that you have already talked about how you were unhappy in the relationship earlier, it should not come as a shock to him. Don't go into elaborate explanations but you must tell him the exact reason why you are breaking off the relationship.

8) Don't expect him to understand

Don't expect your boyfriend to step into your shoes and understand why you are breaking up with him. If he truly likes you, he will be emotionally fragile and heartbroken when he realizes that you are dumping him.

9) Don't lose your temper if your boyfriend says something inappropriate

This is the time when your boyfriend's mindset will be a boiling pot of many contrasting feelings and emotions including love, hate, sadness, anger and heartbreak. He is likely to say something stupid and may even blame you for the problems in your relationship.

You will have to tolerate some of his rants if you want to be the bigger person. Control your anger and don't let your emotions get the better of you.

10) Don't budge if your boyfriend asks you to give him one more chance

If your boyfriend truly loves you, he will ask for one more chance. He will plead with you to give the relationship another shot and he will promise to change into a new person.

His promises may seem tempting to accept but this is the time when you will have to be mentally strong and stop yourself from succumbing to his emotional pleas. If you give in, it will set a precedence and he may take your weakness for granted.

Don't linger around. Get up and walk away once you have responsibly played your part.
Don't linger around. Get up and walk away once you have responsibly played your part.

11) Don't let your breakup conversation last for a long time: Know when to walk away

The purpose of breaking up in person is to take responsibility for your actions. Here are some of the things you should remember while dumping your boyfriend.

  • Don't get drawn into long arguments
  • Avoid giving long explanations
  • Don't budge from your decision

Spend some time with him after dumping him but don't feel obliged to spend an hour with him. Once you feel that you have genuinely and responsibly answered his questions, you should get up and walk away. Don't linger around, expecting the situation to end on a happy note.

12) We can still be friends: Use these words in the last sentence that you say to him

Regardless of how your conversation turns out, make sure that the last few words you say to him are indicate that friendship is still an option. This will bring a friendly closure to your breakup, at least from your side.

Be clear that you are firm about your decision to breakup and there is no way you will reconsider it. But as you walk away, let your last words be 'We can still be friends'

13) Immediately after breaking up: Don't entertain long phone calls from your ex-boyfriend

Now that you have dumped your guy, you must learn how to behave and act with your ex. He may keep calling you at the pretext of discussing hobbies or homework, but you must put your foot down and avoid long phone calls.

If you don't stop talking to him like you used to, your heart will never move on. You will make it worse even for your ex because he will be unable to forget you as someone he can always call in the middle of the night for a mushy conversation.

14) Drawing the line: Stop meeting him like how you did before

If your boyfriend still has feelings for you, he will try to meet you even after you have dumped him. You will have to say no to these dates to make it clear that you won't be meeting him like you used to before.

You can hang out together if you are in the same group of friends. But personal dates should be avoided if you want to stop yourself from being drawn into the relationship again.

Don't immerse yourself in guilt and solitude. If you have taken all possible steps to save your relationship and dealt with the breakup maturely, you have done all you could.
Don't immerse yourself in guilt and solitude. If you have taken all possible steps to save your relationship and dealt with the breakup maturely, you have done all you could.

15) Don't feel guilty about meeting new people after a while

Don't start seeing other people immediately after your breakup. If you do, your ex will feel that you were dating the new guy while you were still in a relationship with him.

But once a couple of months have gone by, stop feeling guilty about breaking up and feel free to meet new people. Hold yourself back emotionally and be careful about jumping into rebound relationships.

16) Expect volatile behavior from your ex: Don't expect his heart to heal immediately

Being dumped is one of the worst blows to self-confidence and self-esteem. Heartbreak can bring the toughest of men to their knees. Don't expect your ex to behave normally with you if you bump into him because he is still nursing his wounds.

It is hard to forgive someone who breaks your heart. Depending on intensity of your relationship, it can take weeks or even months before he moves on and stops missing you as his girlfriend. Time is the only balm that can soothe the pain of heartbreak.


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    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 

      6 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Breaking up with him can be difficult and most painful great points made here on how to approach such situations.


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