- Gender and Relationships
How to breakup with your girlfriend? Remember these Don'ts to make your breakup less stressful
If you are planning to breakup with your girlfriend, you should be prepared to face an onslaught of questions, emotions, feelings and maybe even a bit of rage. Having said that, all breakups don't necessarily need to be messy situations that get out of hand. If you want to learn how to breakup with your girlfriend and make the ordeal less stressful for you and her, remember these 10 vital things that you should not do.
Note: The very thought of teaching someone how to split from their partners may sound awfully nasty. However there is little denying the fact that a breakup can spell doom from an emotional and psychological perspective in case of a rogue or careless attitude towards a relationship. So to keep it real and going along with the motto of practical advice, this post is aimed purely at men who are about to take the first step at breaking up with their girlfriends and how they can make this ordeal less emotionally stressful for themselves and their partners. In no way does it mean to be sexist or derogatory to either sex. Princesswithapen believes in true love and hopes that you find yours too!
1) Don't breakup with your girlfriend by cheating on her
If you want to breakup with your lady love just because you have the hots for another woman, well that's your call. But make sure that you tell your girl that you don't want to be with her anymore before you get laid with the other woman. Cheating on your girl is definitely not the road you want to go on, because there are a lot of repercussions which make the ideal recipe for a messy situation and heaps of bi**hy attitude.
2) Don't start blaming your girlfriend for everything while breaking up
Every relationship has its share of fights, arguments and misunderstandings. Yours is no different. If you want to breakup with her because the two of you fight endlessly, you should understand that it may not be her fault all the time. So when you talk to your girlfriend about your decision to breakup, don't try to manipulate your conversations and blame her for all the hiccups and roadblocks that your relationship has faced. That will only leave her with a bruised self-confidence and self esteem.
3) Don't use the words Hate and Love too often while breaking up
Hate signifies anger while Love signifies attachment. They both are words that are very heavy and have a lot of emotional baggage associated with them. To make your breakup as smooth and flawless as you can, make sure that you avoid using these words too often. Unnecessary use of Love and Hate may ignite pent up feelings which may lead to a flaring emotional outburst.
4) Don't breakup with your girlfriend over a text or chat message
While the 21st century may be all about technology, internet, smart phones, tablets and various other innovations, you must remember that you should not be telling your girl about your decision via a text message, chat message, tweet, Facebook message, Pinterest post or an email. That is absolutely cowardly and is not only considered rude, it will also brand you as unmanly for life.
5) Don't even think about break-up sex: It happens only in the movies
Breakup sex may seem fancy and exotic in the movies, but you should know that real life is quite different. If your you and your girlfriend were in a very casual relationship and you both want to call it off by a one last romp in bed, by all means, go for it. However in most real and emotional girlfriend-boyfriend relationships, breakup sex does not happen. So if you expected your girlfriend to spend the night with you once you tell her that you are going to breakup with her, wake up and smell the coffee mister.
6) Don't lose your temper: Be calm
You must be dreaming if you thought that your girlfriend is going to smile, be understanding and simply walk away without saying a word to you, when you tell her that you want to breakup. Be prepared for a lot of arguments and more importantly, be prepared to bite the bullet, if you know what that means. Breaking up is not easy and you must remain master the art of being calm, cool and composed if you want to walk out of a situation like that unscathed and without causing too much of a mess.
7) Don't say No if your girlfriend asks you if you still want to be friends
If your girlfriend still wants to be in touch with you and wants to continue the cold relationship between the two of you under the guise of friendship, don't deny that to her by saying No. Your friendship may eventually wither off into a non-existent one, but for the time being and for the sake of sanity of your 'to be' ex-girlfriend's state of mind, say yes to being friends.
8) Don't walk away if your girlfriend cries
Some men may find handling a teary eyed damsel outside their comfort zone. If you are one of them, you must realize that you should not walk away from a breakup situation just because your girlfriend cried. If she get teary eyed because of the obvious trauma you are about to put her in, handle it like a man. Give her hand wipes or give her your handkerchief if she needs some. Console her and be around while she lets out a thorough emotional discharge by way of sobbing.
9) Don't go back on your decision to breakup with your girlfriend and be firm about it
"Can we at least try to fix things?" is a common question put up by guys and girls while facing the dumping grounds. If you are really serious and firm about your decision to part ways, make no mistake and be firm about the finality of your decision. Leaving room for a possible patch up may evoke unwanted feelings of hope in your girlfriend's mind which will only lead to a complicated situation later on. This is one situation in life, where no means no. Although this may sound a bit rude and you may not have the guts to do so, it is in your and your girlfriend's best interest.
10) Don't forget to be a man
One of the most important things that you cannot afford to forget while breaking up with your girlfriend is the notion of "Being a man about it" Be a tough guy, bite the bullet, show chivalry, humility and concern for the woman who you have dated and made love to. Accept responsibility for your own shortcomings. Be apologetic about your harsh, yet firm decision of splitting up with her. Console her and make sure that you don't leave her shattered and all over the place. Be a man about it!