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How to deal with a jealous neighbor?

Updated on June 2, 2013

Love your neighbor as you love yourself,should be the guiding principle among neighbors. Equally the same, do to others as you would like them to do to you is also another golden rule for life which all of us must adhere to wholesale.When a homeowner purchases a new home, the homeowner doesn't know what kind of a neighbor lives at number 10 Hastings Drive.The new homeowner would be able to know only when he/she moves in at number 9 Hastings Drive.That is when the homeowner can give precise answers to the following questions: Are our neighbors good neighbors? Are they rumor mongers and jealous type neighbors? Are they the ones who peeps through the window and close their curtains and smash their doors behind you,instead of congratulating you when you buy a new car or when you have a new baby ?

So often the internet is awash of stories of neighbors who do odd things to their neighbors.Some neighbors have been exposed to harm's way by their jealous neighbors.How can a homeowner avoid bust-ups with a jealous neighbor?

Maintain a cool head - If the family next door is hotheaded and jealous of you.Try to maintain a distance and avoid confrontational approach. Don't add fuel to fire by losing your temper and start name calling. People might not differentiate between a moron and a genius - don't retaliate by foul- mouthed words for you all become the laughingstock in the neighborhood.If the neighbor doesn't greet you or talk to you , make an effort to greet that neighbor first.If you are consistent in greeting this rebellious neighbor this may make the neighbor repent and start greeting you in turn.Indeed a good turn deserves another and evil begets evil.Extend an olive branch to your neighbor in most cases.It pays to maintain a cool head and give peace a chance.

Show your neighbor that you do care -Invite your jealous neighbor for a meal and a barbecue at yours.Remember to buy a present or card during Christmas time.This may soften the heart of the rowdy neighbor. A good approach to a rowdy neighbor usually yields success. A softly,softly approach can make the good for nothing neighbor become ashamed of the uncouth behavior and change for the better.Politeness begins by giving a small gift to your neighbor. Be there for your neighbor even if the neighbor is jealous of you,the wise always say two wrongs don't make a right.Praise your neighbor where praise is due.Reinforcement of good behavior with positive rewards can promote good relationship with your jealous neighbor.

Be a helping hand to your jealous neighbor - Help your neighbor with constructive ideas on how to become successful as you are.The rule of the jungle is if you can't beat them join them.If you extend help to your neighbor in most cases the jealous neighbor would see that you are as peaceful as a dove and would return the good favor you would have offered.Pump out a little bit of money if you can,to help them out if they are in financial problems.The upheld belief is that money can't buy love,I beg to differ a small token of money to help your struggling jealous neighbor can win you respect in return.This would be a token given out of necessity,so it would go a long way in harmonizing your relationship with your neighbor.If your neighbor is insecure in life and you are doing fine in life the neighbor becomes jealous.

Identify the reason why your neighbor is jealous of you - Evaluate yourself first by answering some of these questions:Are you not the one who is causing the rift between the two of you? Are you not showy to your neighbor? By answering these questions earnestly one can be assured whether the problem starts with him or her.If one identifies the reason why a neighbor feels threatened, the best way forward is to adjust and be accommodating - this is a neighbor you have to live with for the rest of your life as long as you still own that home, If there is bad blood between the two of you it won't solve anything.Talk to the jealous neighbor always,for this would make the neighbor see sense that you are not showy or an enemy but you are living your life according to the standards it had offered you.

Alert the police - If you have exhausted all channels of bringing harmony between the jealous neighbor and yourself the best way forward is to inform the police that you are not in good books with your neighbor.This is sensible because the jealous neighbor might harm you and your family.If this happens the police has a suspect to arrest.At all cost harmony between neighbors must be upheld - Blessed are neighbors who see eye to eye.United neighbors can weather the storm,divided they fall.


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      Andrea 6 months ago

      I really dnt like the way of handling these issues. The answers almost make YOU the problem. I came here because my neighbors do things because I DON'T want to be bothered, so I'm supposed to invite an already jealous and pestering person INTO my house?! Lol no. The thing about it is we are adults (supposed to be) if i dnt want you in my house or be bothered with you, I don't have to. Everybody has a right to privacy and letting a person you already dnt trust or deal with into your house is not the answer

    • samazi profile image

      Masimba Mukichi 18 months ago from United Kingdom

      Neighbours from hell always exist.First and foremost try to solve your differences amicably but if doesn't work then you may have to let the authorities know what's happening in case something bad happens to you.

    • profile image

      Janis Morris 18 months ago

      We are dealing with neighbor jealousy in a major way. The neighbor on the right since they have moved in have always blocked our driveway with her vehicles or those of her kids. We at first would either walk over or text and ask them nicely to move the vehicles. It escalated to the last time I asked her to move a blocked vehicle, that she was screaming and jumping up and down. I've had to call the police because she refused to move the vehicle. When the police arrive, she absolutely lies to them. The police have told me it is indeed her and her kids that are instigating the issue. This neighbor became friends with the neighbor on the left and have both begun a campaign of badmouthing us in the neighborhood. They then went to our neighborhood blog both lying about what's happened. I had to have their posts removed. I've had to block the neighbor on the left from my phone as she was sending obnoxious text messages. Never had a problem with her until she became friends with the neighbor on the right. I've had to call the police to the neighbor on the right to have her move the vehicle. The neighbor on the right continues to do malicious things - her boys play basketball at 11:00 at night during the week and her backyard is next to our bedroom window. There's more but you get the idea. We have to call the police and then that starts another round of gossip. The neighbor on the left, when my husband purchased a new car, made the comment "You just HAD to go out and buy it, didn't you?" This has gone on for over a year. Not sure what to do to make this nonsense stop. Suggestions????

    • profile image

      samazi 3 years ago

      Great to hear that the situation has improved.

    • profile image

      patricia barker 3 years ago

      thanks for advice the problem has become less recently and at the moment the neighbours have gone off somewhere and in the meantime i am able to work on some understanding and forgiveness on my own part

    • profile image

      haras 3 years ago

      Nice idea, but my attitude is, I don't want anything to do with people who are jealous. I surround myself with positive people who are happy for me when I'm doing well. Jealous of this today, jealous of that tomorrow. Life's to short to exhaust yourselves with people's petty ways.

    • profile image

      patricia barker 3 years ago

      thank you for your advice i have joined groups in my area and i will volunteer to do work in my community. I feel that if i can ignore her i will be a lot happier but its hard too develop a harder skin. in the meantime i just have to keep reminding myself that the person with the problem is her

      and not let thinking about her become an obsession

    • profile image

      samazi 3 years ago

      I can feel your pain and l can see you have tried to bring harmony to your neighbour without success.By the end of the day you have a live, just concentrate on what brings happiness to you.Life is for living.

    • profile image

      patricia barker 3 years ago

      i have this problem but it is only unjust comments which she makes and i have hear without her knowing she copies everything we do and puts our efforts down even my son has been subjected to her jealousy. i want to stop speaking to her as she has been found guilty of benefit fraud and i have never trusted her even before that. i know that direct confrontation will only make things worse but i can't praise what she does as i would not be sincere. i can't avoid her as she is always in her front garden which is next door to us. i want to say hello but sorry i am in a hurry but how many excuses can i make up . i am very sensitive in nature and she is making me have depressive episodes as i do not know how to handle her. any advice would be gratefully received. thank you.


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