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How to find a good matchmaker

Updated on May 15, 2009


The practice of using a matchmaker to find a husband or wife has been extant for millennia. Arranged marriages were common during most of human history. Family members were usually assigned the responsibility. Often the couple had little in common and love was not considered an important factor. Love would come later, hopefully. Couples relied on mutual respect, loyalty and family devotion to create a successful marriage . Many ethnicities take advantage of this method still today, utilizing parents, grandparents, an aunt or close family member—with mixed success—but Americans generally do not.

Professional Matchmakers

Professional matchmakers are an entirely different story. They are found throughout history in many cultures including in America.  As contemporary values began to play a larger role in these created relationships, honoring the selection of the matchmaker has diminished and this tradition declined. The shamefulness ascribed to failed arranged marriages no longer seemed as important as love, devotion, mutual respect and compatibility. While matchmakers fell into disfavor in the latter half of the 20th Century, they have made a strong comeback in the 21st Century as people seek help finding someone to marry with whom they share chemistry and . I invested years in graduate school and years of recognized, extensive research in comprehensive analysis to discover the significant inputs one really needs to award a major role in the selection process. Such as: How about Character?


Today, matchmaking, to find a mate for life, spans the gamut of methodologies. While most people have friends who will offer up the only single person they happen to know; a much more positive, meaningful, satisfying, and successful journey is possible utilizing the services of a genuine, experienced professional matchmaker. Appropriate characteristics of a true matchmaker include a PhD in psychology; many years of a successful history of accomplishments; knowledge and/or involvement in pertinent research on the interactions of "Dyads"; experience in the use of developing personality profiles from measurements; scoring and predicting future behaviors with appropriate marriage candidates.

An example of a Professional Matchmaker
An example of a Professional Matchmaker

A Personal Relationship

A close relationship with your matchmaker is essential as one develops friendships with each potential match. If the matchmaker is responsible for the matching, it's clear how important it is that they have invested the many hours necessary to get to know all clients in matchmaker's pool. Unfortunately, some matchmakers have gone strictly commercial and use field agents who meet the prospective clients and report to the actual matchmaker. The result is, you get matched by someone you have never met in person, after a 30 minute interview with an underling. Think about it . . . would you like to be matched by someone you've never met? A true, personal matchmaker will spend an entire day with you in person, and hours with you via telephone as well.  A bond is formed where helpful information is exchanged.  This is important work that will result in changing your life forever. It is worth the effort. It is really a fun, successful journey to find love. 


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    • Dr Nancy Kenyon profile image

      Nancy Kenyon 8 years ago from Orlando, FL


      You are welcome and thank you.

    • prasetio30 profile image

      prasetio30 8 years ago from malang-indonesia

      thanks for share about this topic. great information

    • Dr Nancy Kenyon profile image

      Nancy Kenyon 8 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Thank you James!

    • James A Watkins profile image

      James A Watkins 8 years ago from Chicago

      Well written and interesting information. Thanks!

    • Dr Nancy Kenyon profile image

      Nancy Kenyon 8 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Roman- Thank you! There is more to come soon.

    • profile image

      Roman Inochovsky 8 years ago

      Good article. would like to hear more....