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How to get over the hurt from a past relationship? Do you really get over it?

Updated on April 25, 2017

Getting over that hurt, Cause it hurts like hell!

In life, I found that as we get in and out of relationships, that being hurt is inevitable. For starters, as humans, we naturally hurt one another but naturally, we also love one another. It would be quite simplistic to love each other gracefully without having to hurt someone. Sometimes, hurting causes us to grow in our own right. Being hurt aids us in learning how to make better decisions, take a lesson from previous mistakes and ultimately do better and be better.

I know that it doesn't feel good to be hurt, and I especially know because I too have experienced it. Now, being hurt does not always mean we are hurt by a significant other, your mom can hurt you, dad, brother, sister, cousin, aunt, uncle, and friend but as I have examined being hurt from a significant other your partner-boyfriend, girlfriend, wife or husband hurts like hell! It's different ways of being hurt by different people; the way that your mom hurt you is totally different from the way that your husband hurt you or your wife. I'm not saying that being hurt by a family member doesn't hurt just as much because it does -in fact, it hurts even more because that's your family. We tend to naturally feel that family should never hurt us simply because they are our family and they are supposed to love us more than anyone. However, when a man or woman who is in a relationship(romantic) and they give their hearts, their vulnerability, their loyalty, their trust, their innermost feelings, their deepest thoughts, their precious bodies, children and most of all their love, this type of hurt is EXTREME! Think about all this I just I named in that last sentence that we give to that person we are in a relationship with. That's a pretty huge deal! To be clear, that's a lot to give to one person. So here we are giving all of this to this one person we fall deeply and madly in love with and then they break our hearts. At this point, all bets are off!

Let me briefly explain how family and significant others has two distinct differences. So here goes...."Have there ever been a time that you were upset or feeling sad about a situation and you briefly talked about it with a family member, but you weren't as comfortable speaking to them about it as you were your lover"? As you go back in time, think about how when you talked about it to your family, they didn't quite understand the way that your partner understood which made you feel humiliated, not understood and completely devastated. While although your partner may or may not had understood, they consoled you and helped you get through it better than family. I say this because this is part of the reason why being hurt from a lover hurts so much. We go to them when we can't turn to anyone else, we confide in them, we take pride in our relationships and to be perfectly honest, we love being loved and needed by someone outside of the family.

So it downright just hurts extremely to be involved with someone that unfortunately doesn't either feel the same, cheats, lies, betray us or leave us. It is devastating, cause now we no longer have that person we went to for everything and that person who understood us when family or friends didn't. Our significant other is the one person we never thought would be the one to hurt us. After such painful encounter, we become guarded with our hearts and likely find it harder to love again. But I write this article, to tell you there is still hope, we can find love again, but we must invest in ourselves before we invest in another. So here are the steps to getting over pain/hurt from a previous relationship......

1.) Forgive

-Forgiveness definition is to stop feeling angry or resentful toward someone for an offense, flaw or mistake.

So simply take that hurt and face it head on. Forgive that person for you and not them. Don't spend your whole life in anger over something someone did because sometimes we(people) just don't know any better, we are ignorant to how each other feels, so don't hold it against them instead pray for them. Holding on to hurt or pain hurts more than getting hurt in the first place, so always forgive others as you will find this to be truly beneficial.

2.) Stay Busy

Stay busy as possible. Being active and engaging in the world around you keeps you from thinking about the hurt. IIn fact, staying busy helps you relieve stress and helps you to keep your mind off the pain. So stay busy-volunteer, do things that you love to do, work, work, work if you have to but not too much- you have to take time for yourself too! Exercise, whatever it is that you keeps you going and out there, do it! It's just that simple.

3.) Invest in Yourself

LOVE YOURSELF, notice I made this one in Bold and in Italic to point out the importance of this. You must love yourself before you can offer your love to someone else. Next, take time out for yourself, get to know you, meditate, pamper yourself- get your nails and feet done. For the guys, get a haircut, have a basketball match with the boys, engage with others, meet new people. Go to a movie alone, get to know you, figure out what you want in life, and what makes you happy!

4.) Learn

Learn and grow, the hurt may have been pretty bad, but take away something from that relationship while ultimately learning to do better and be better.


So there goes, I have given you the tools you need to get over the hurt from a relationship as you may feel it is impossible, but remember anything is POSSIBLE!

-Catch you on the next article!

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