- Gender and Relationships»
How to get rid of parents in law.( It's not gonna happen)
Ha! Since the dawn of man, in laws have been a problem. Not to say dad in-law is innocent, but mommy dearest(in-law) usually is the one to manipulate all the trouble! Even Fred Flintstone didn't get along with his mother in-law; they are animated reflections of what it is like to deal with in-laws in reality. Let me give you an example of what a crazy in law is like, as well as tips on how to break your tension whenever your spouse's parents come around.
I met my husband back in October 04' and things progressed quickly from there. We had been together for about three months before I met his mother. Here was this little lady who looked like she could have been Mrs. Clause. I thought she was the nicest older lady I had ever met and so I thought things were great! That was until the day I did my boyfriend's laundry. His mom drove over to our house and gave me a lecture on how it was sweet for me to do the wash, but she does his laundry. I could not believe this woman had the nerve to say that! When his mom would come around, she would always mention Tomas'(my boyfriend), ex-wife and drag on about her bi-polar condition. His mother would always blame the divorce and the fights between Tomas and his first wife on her condition. I just sat back and wondered how could this woman make so many assumptions about a mental disorder that she was not educated on? Especially since I was diagnosed with manic bi-polar disorder a few years earlier. I was even labeled borderline personality disorder! Here I had to tolerate this nonsense for respect for Tomas.
His brother's wedding was the next jab at me. They had the nerve to address the invitation to Tomas and guest! Even though we were living together. I did go because I love my new sister in-law. A couple of days later I got the Flu. Tomas stayed with me in case I needed to go to the hospital. His mom called and started to tell him that I was my mom and dad's problem to worry about. That is the day my mouth unhinged!!!
At first, I just told her that people in serious relationships look out for each other and it wasn't really her business. I also told her that I was diagnosed bi-polar and you should have heard her tune change! My confrontation of the issues did not stop her.
Let me make this easier for all you readers. I will give you a summarized list of "my mother in-law".
She has bailed hin out of legal issues time after time; she continues to do his laundry (mind you, we are married now!); she prepares his breakfast and lunch EVERY day; she calls EVERY night to wake my husband up for work, even though I am awake and sitting next to him; she buys his clothes, scibbies and all; she drives to his work to drop off his lunch if forgotten; she buys his groceries and toiletries, and the list of things she does for her son, who is 37 years old, and my husband, go way beyond this.
Now let me just say that my husband's dad passed away when Tomas was 19 years old. Every time he does something stupid, his mother has the nerve to say it is because he was just a small boy when he lost his dad. I told my husband to get it through his head that at 19, he was an adult! This woman makes no attempt to smother her oldest son. It is almost as ifshe thinks of my husband as her husband( his father). Anyway, she cannot interfere like this!
Speaking of the things she does, how about the things she has not done. As a granparent, most would want to be in their grandkid's lives as much as possible! Not my mother in-law! First, was our baby shower. She had other plans for that day so she came to the front door and dropped a gift off! My mother in-law did not even come in to meet my family or say hello to her family! The shower was a hit without her. Our daughter's 1st birthday was in May at a park with a beautifully decorated pavilion. I had planned the event 4 months early and immediately sent the invitations so people would be able to come. We had purchased a lot of food for our bbq and I special ordered a Care Bear cake(which was awesome)! Well, my family showed up with their kids' and I ended up smashing the small cake in her face. My daughter and I got it next, of course.:) I said a prayer and thanked God for giving us a wonderful day and such wonderful family and friends that came and celebrated Cadence with us. It did however, upset me that Tomas' mom nor his brother or sister in-law did not call, come to the party,nothing. I demanded my husband call his family and find out where they were and they responded in anger at the fact that we were upset! The very same week, Tomas' brother went to Mexico to see his wife's newly born neice.I was pissed and I let my husband know just how much! My husband tried to make excuses for why his family never joins our family get togethers. Remember, Tomas was raised by the very woman I am ranting about:) Anyway, we thought it would be a great idea to have our daughter's 2nd birthday party at my mom's house since she is a corner lot that is huge! Like before, the invites went out 5 months early so there could be no excuses from anyone! The only people who did not call nor show up was my in-laws! In fact, they could not even give our daughter a card or thier time! I solved this problem by deciding to not invite them to future celebrations. If they do not like that, tough, they brought it on themselves. Be sure, I will remind them of thier absence in our lives. Holidays are easy because my in-laws get together, but I am never on the invite list. When I do accompany my husband, the family acts fake and two faced, character traits I do not tolerate.
The grand daddy of all of the evil things tis woman has done is she cut my daughter's hair!!! Not once, but twice!!! Now, everyone knows that you never cut someone else's child's hair, NEVER!!! My daughter has those blonde curls and we were letting it grow out. After the first time, I scolded my mother in-law as if she was any person on the street! It took a long while for me to allow my daughter to visit her again, but I did try. The very next day, my daughter's bangs were chopped and hacked! Needless to say, I told my mother in-law where to go and she'll be lucky if I don't send her there!
I am not a mean person, but I do have boundaries. If being polite does not work, do not be afraid to speak up for yourself. Remember, just because they are older, does not change the fact that you are still an adult with your own thoughts, methods, and so on. OLDER does not always mean WISER!!!
My mother in-law got my drift and at least she does not come to my home nor call me. She does however still do everything as mentioned above for her 37 year old son, my husband!