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- Separation & Divorce
How to handle when your Ex starts dating
Right in your face!
We've all been through it whether your in your teens or in your 80's and its always a bit upsetting. Ive been lucky after one of my biggest break ups I was able to go through whatever I had to and get on with my life. Of course it wasn't right in my face either the person I was with moved out of State and that was that. But not everyone is as lucky to have a clean cut as I did and things can linger and become messy especially when your Ex finds someone new and you get to see a lot of the sorted details. It can become very painful and uncomfortable to say the least. Here are some suggestions to cope with it.
First and foremost acknowledge to yourself that the relationship with this person is over as you knew it. You know its over, its been over and now they have gone on to another level. you have to know deep down inside that you no longer are in this persons life in that capacity..always keep this in mind.
Follow that by remembering, remember why you split up in the first place, what made you both decide it was over? There was a reason for your break up and that reason is still there. Maybe you decided it was best for the both of you, maybe it just wasn't good to be together any longer. One thing we tend to do when we lose someone is we tend to "Romanticize" the situation and place false emotions into it. Soon you forget the why's and get stuck in missing something your better off not having. You get stuck in wanting something just 'cause you don't have it anymore especially if someone else has it now. We detour away from what is real and create a whole fantasy and we make ourselves want it more just for the sake of having it back. Remember why you split up in the first place and know things rarely change.
Don't put yourself at arms reach and witness every little thing that happens between your Ex and their new life. This may be easy to do especially if you share friends and family but don't do it as tempting as it may be. Your only going to put yourself through unnecessary pain and why do that? Its like taking a hammer and hitting yourself on the head over and over again, its worthless and harmful and it doesn't get you anywhere except to make you even more stuck in a vicious circle of hurt. Get away from it, if someone tries to tell you whats going on or what they have heard make it a point to say "I'm not interested in hearing this" the only one that's going to get a reaction is you and it's not going to feel good so don't do it.
Know your worth it!
Anytime we see something like an Ex with someone else we tend to start questioning ourselves and our value. Why is she /he better than me? What did I do wrong? I wasn't good enough! That's total horse crap and you know it! Sometimes no matter how great the both of you were as individuals it didn't mean together you would've made a great couple! There are certain mixtures that just don't mix and for whatever reasons together it just didn't work out. Don't beat yourself up or sell yourself short by thinking this way. You are a unique individual and as such have many wonderful qualities ! Give yourself a pat on the back and know you are worth it!
There's a bigger, better world out there
It's time to move on and shed the pain! You have to really know that your worth much more than this and that you also deserve happiness and contentment. Yes your Ex has moved on and now it's your turn! Join some clubs, take a class, check out some reputable dating services when your ready. Be visible and be active! It wont be long until you too find that special someone. remember you cannot move forward if your too busy looking back.