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How to have a conversation with women

Updated on June 28, 2011
Images courtesy Flickr
Images courtesy Flickr

I am a woman and I am tired of the same old conversation that a man greets me with.

Nice to see you.

How have you been?

Rotten weather we are having.

In my line of work / office / blah blah blah

Maybe its got something to do with the fact that I do have a brain and opinions about things.

Maybe its simply that the men I meet are too scared to engage in a more meaningful conversation.

ART of Conversation

The art of conversation and making small talk is a dying one. Most people just don't talk to pass the time of the day anymore. The only time they speak is when they want something. This effectively kills the conversation by bringing it down to a couple of questions and answers.

Question - I need blah blah blah

Answer - Ok I'll do blah blah blah

That's it end of conversation. This is unique to offices where personal conversation is to be discouraged. However it spills out into the personal relationship with colleagues as well.

So that leaves men with no area to practice their social conversation skills.

All I know is that men need help to talk with women. SO here's my attempt to tell them that they can talk to women about a number of topics and not get flustered.

What to talk about

Pick out a topic of mutual interest. There are any number of things that are not related to work and the weather that you can talk about.

Talk about likes and dislikes.

This is a safe topic. It can includefavourite songs or albums.Themovies or TV-shows that are popular.The nastiest tasting piece of candy or food you have eaten.The best vacation ever vs. the worst one that you had.

Current Affairs

Okay not too many men think of talking about what they saw on the news with a woman. I want to know why not? Women have opinions too. Just talk about the latest political scandal and see what response you get. Lives of movie stars make for interesting discussion as well.


Do you think women are not interested in sports? Wrong. They do enjoy keeping up with sports that interest them. Just don't talk football when they prefer tennis. Its a matter of finding the common interest sport and then talking about the top players and ongoing or upcoming games.

Travel Destinations

It does not matter where you have been the conversation can hinge on where you would like to go. Of course this is an easy topic for people who are traveling all the time. Remember the places that you wanted to see as a child? Ask about the ones she would like to visit as well.

Latest technology

You can show off your favorite gadget here if it is one of mutual interest. Just make sure that you don't get too carried away explaining all the features. Remember conversation needs to keep rolling to stay interesting.

Move from one topic to the next. Make sure you don't monopolize the conversation. It has to be a give and take of words and opinions. Don't force her to agree with all your opinions. And certainly don't get so carried away that you begin to argue.

What Not to talk about

You can make a really big impression on a woman based on the topic you pick to talk with her about. And if you get the topic wrong the impression is not going to very favorable.

So do yourself a favor and leave the following topics out of any conversation with a woman, even if she encourages you to talk about it.

Your Illnesses

You got sick and got over it? Good for you. There is no need to give a play by play on just what went wrong and the tests you had and then exactly what the doctor had to say. It may have been interesting to you but its is not an interesting conversation point. So avoid it like the plague.

Your Job related problems

Sure it is nice to let a person know what you work as but please leave it at that. The woman before you is not interested in just how crappy your boss is and how mean your co workers are. Complaining about such things or specific events that happened is not going to help create a meaningful conversation.

Regrettable experiences

There are things in your life that you regret doing. Some more than others, but that does not make them good conversation pieces. Keep things away from a deeply emotional level when making casual conversation. So you gave up a good thing or did not recognize it at the time, now don't talk about it.

Creepy things

There is always something that creeps people out. It could be ghosts, lizards, rats or just about anything else. These are defined not fears that we want to bring up in public. Which is why it would be a good idea to keep these topics out of the conversation.

Common mistakes to avoid

Not listening

Asking too many questions

Speaking more than the others

Having to be right always

Not contributing at all

Being Boring


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    • cashmere profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from India

      Thank you Anup

    • profile image

      anup petare 

      7 years ago

      its a lot PATIENCE requring stuff to handle good conversation with opposite sex good article BTW

    • cashmere profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from India

      @ Fucsia, it happens doesn't it?

      @ break up , sometimes that conversation needs a push

    • profile image

      break up books 

      7 years ago

      It is so hard to initiate conversation with the opposite sex if you are nervous and worried about what you should say. The best conversations are those that flow and where you spark off each other. There are just some people that you will never be able to speak comfortably with because you are not on the same wavelength. I know a few people who I would hate to be stuck in a room with because they are impossible to have a conversation with!

    • fucsia profile image


      7 years ago

      Very nice page! It made me laugh maybe because is true!

    • cashmere profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from India

      Yes I agree Spirit Whisperer, with texting and facebook, the art of conversing face to face is slowly dying...

      They don't know what to say to your face!

      Jagandelight, I hear you. Its totally his loss.

      Stephanie Henkel I'm sure you are a stellar conversationalist!

      Reena I believe the average fauji would qualify for that! Most of them cant get beyond the first two lines without running to the bar!

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      LOL, enjoyed the rant. Does Gorakhpur have an unusual preponderance of these men who don't know how to react to a woman who is intelligent and isn't afraid to show it? Many men do get uncomfortable when presented with a woman who can :shock:shock: speak on subjects other than maids!

    • Stephanie Henkel profile image

      Stephanie Henkel 

      7 years ago from USA

      You make some excellent points! Please don't tell me what the doctor said! Listen when I talk, but don't keep asking me prying questions --It makes me very uncomfortable! Above all else, don't tell me all of your problems unless we are intimate friends! and even then, I don't need to know all the details! Thanks for a useful hub! Now I must remember that advice myself, too!

    • jagandelight profile image


      7 years ago from Florida

      I feel your frustration. I don't know why most men feel so uncomfortable when in front of an intelligent woman. I try to just not let it bother me and move on, it's his loss.

    • Spirit Whisperer profile image

      Xavier Nathan 

      7 years ago from Isle of Man

      Don't you think that culture has a lot to do with this? I also think that the younger generation of men and women are becoming too used to hiding behind text messages and Facebook to communicate so face to face communication is too difficult for them. You have written a great hub though about a subject that is very relevant in this day and age. Thank you.


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