- Gender and Relationships»
- Advice & Tips for Men in Relationships
How to have a conversation with women
I am a woman and I am tired of the same old conversation that a man greets me with.
Nice to see you.
How have you been?
Rotten weather we are having.
In my line of work / office / blah blah blah
Maybe its got something to do with the fact that I do have a brain and opinions about things.
Maybe its simply that the men I meet are too scared to engage in a more meaningful conversation.
ART of Conversation
The art of conversation and making small talk is a dying one. Most people just don't talk to pass the time of the day anymore. The only time they speak is when they want something. This effectively kills the conversation by bringing it down to a couple of questions and answers.
Question - I need blah blah blah
Answer - Ok I'll do blah blah blah
That's it end of conversation. This is unique to offices where personal conversation is to be discouraged. However it spills out into the personal relationship with colleagues as well.
So that leaves men with no area to practice their social conversation skills.
All I know is that men need help to talk with women. SO here's my attempt to tell them that they can talk to women about a number of topics and not get flustered.
What to talk about
Pick out a topic of mutual interest. There are any number of things that are not related to work and the weather that you can talk about.
Talk about likes and dislikes.
This is a safe topic. It can includefavourite songs or albums.Themovies or TV-shows that are popular.The nastiest tasting piece of candy or food you have eaten.The best vacation ever vs. the worst one that you had.
Okay not too many men think of talking about what they saw on the news with a woman. I want to know why not? Women have opinions too. Just talk about the latest political scandal and see what response you get. Lives of movie stars make for interesting discussion as well.
Do you think women are not interested in sports? Wrong. They do enjoy keeping up with sports that interest them. Just don't talk football when they prefer tennis. Its a matter of finding the common interest sport and then talking about the top players and ongoing or upcoming games.
It does not matter where you have been the conversation can hinge on where you would like to go. Of course this is an easy topic for people who are traveling all the time. Remember the places that you wanted to see as a child? Ask about the ones she would like to visit as well.
You can show off your favorite gadget here if it is one of mutual interest. Just make sure that you don't get too carried away explaining all the features. Remember conversation needs to keep rolling to stay interesting.
Move from one topic to the next. Make sure you don't monopolize the conversation. It has to be a give and take of words and opinions. Don't force her to agree with all your opinions. And certainly don't get so carried away that you begin to argue.
What Not to talk about
You can make a really big impression on a woman based on the topic you pick to talk with her about. And if you get the topic wrong the impression is not going to very favorable.
So do yourself a favor and leave the following topics out of any conversation with a woman, even if she encourages you to talk about it.
You got sick and got over it? Good for you. There is no need to give a play by play on just what went wrong and the tests you had and then exactly what the doctor had to say. It may have been interesting to you but its is not an interesting conversation point. So avoid it like the plague.
Your Job related problems
Sure it is nice to let a person know what you work as but please leave it at that. The woman before you is not interested in just how crappy your boss is and how mean your co workers are. Complaining about such things or specific events that happened is not going to help create a meaningful conversation.
There are things in your life that you regret doing. Some more than others, but that does not make them good conversation pieces. Keep things away from a deeply emotional level when making casual conversation. So you gave up a good thing or did not recognize it at the time, now don't talk about it.
There is always something that creeps people out. It could be ghosts, lizards, rats or just about anything else. These are defined not fears that we want to bring up in public. Which is why it would be a good idea to keep these topics out of the conversation.
Common mistakes to avoid
Asking too many questions
Speaking more than the others
Having to be right always
Not contributing at all