How to have a happy married life? Much needed tips!
“A great spouse loves you exactly as you are. An extraordinary spouse helps you grow; inspires you to be, do and give your very best.” -Fawn Weaver
‘Living happily ever after’ the fairy tale ending is something everyone seeks in marriage. Is there really ‘living happily ever after’ sort of married life. Quiet impossible! You dream of such married life and want it to happen on its own without any input from you. Marriage needs contribution from you and your spouse to make it work.
Do you contribute nothing in your work place? You put in great efforts to make you proficient and successful in your work. Is your house clean on it own? You put things in its place, keep it free from dust and grime and make everything look polished and shining.
When everything in life needs your input, why do you ignore your marriage as something which will evolve into happiness on its own? Marriage is hard work till the day you live, but the returns of happiness you get back make your contribution worthwhile and valuable.
Have you observed couples? There are many types of couples, aren’t there? I always observe how couples interact with each other and it is like watching an interesting movie. Newly married couples have a flushed look, the middle age couple have a bored look in their face, but I think the old age couples seem to have matured love in their face as now they realize what marriage is all about.
What are the most needed aspects for a happy marriage?
The list is endless, but there are certain main ingredients which make all the difference in your marriage.
1. Love and care for each other
Love is the foundation of marriage and without it your marriage can never survive. ‘I love him\her, but I do not have time to express my love.’ You are apologetic about your shortage of time for being unable to show your love to your spouse, but you seem to have time to show your love to your children. You never tire of loving your children. Why is it so? You feel they are from you and so belong to you.
But you do not have the same sense of belonging towards your spouse. That is why you feel it impossible to express your love to your spouse. Love not shown or expressed is not love at all. Do not make your spouse play a guessing game. Say those magic words ‘I love you’ an umpteenth time in your marriage and see the difference it makes.
2. Having mutual discussion
It is very true you should have freedom to do things you want to, but you should also discuss important family issues together. If you or your spouse take arbitrary decisions without consulting each other it makes you resentful that your thoughts are not respected.
When there is mutual discussion, you see things from your angle and the angle of your spouse and this comes handy for you to take the right decision, taking the good from each others point of view.
3. Being presentable
Why is it couples lose the interest to look good after marriage. Man seems to think that it is his prerogative to expect his wife to look good for him, but he fails to understand that his wife too has expectations that her husband should take efforts to look good for her.
Being neat and well groomed adds to the aesthetic sense of marriage. You should feel good to look at your spouse. When you look dirty, sweaty, and grimy and disheveled before your spouse the level of attraction come plunging down.
4. No clinging love
Spacing is very important for your relationship to flourish. If you interfere in everything your spouse does it makes her\him feel fettered and shackled. You should allow your husband to spend some time with his friends or watch his favorite sports. You should allow your wife to watch her favorite shows or spend some free time just doing nothing. It is her ‘me time’.
5. Financial security has awesome power
When there is no money, your love takes a thrashing as you end up in arguing about petty matters. You need money for your children’s education and to maintain a good standard of living. It is the survival kit of your marriage. You cannot eat love, can you? You cannot buy a thing with your love. It needs hard currencies for your marriage to survive. So you must save for the future and also be mindful of the way you spend your hard earned money.
Are these the only criterion needed for a good marriage? This is just the icing and not the entirety of the needs of a good marriage. You should realize that you mean a lot to each other and small thoughtful ways of talking and caring ways of showing love goes a long way in making your marriage shine.
Are you happily married?
© 2013 mathira