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How to keep your friends
Galileo the great scientist said: You cannot teach a man anything you can only help him to find it within himself. Therefore this is the intend of this article.
I like Socrates can only say of myself. One thing I know and that is that I know nothing.
Have you ever find yourself coming across an individual who no matter what you try to say or discuss he always find something to contradict or to show you how wrong you are.
If you find yourself to be that type of person you may want to consider your actions. You see sometimes your argumentative temperament stand in the way of your advancement, career and otherwise. Just take a trip down memory lane at the many arguments you have had with individuals who were of importance to your upward mobility. Did the arguments advance you, or did they rankle people’s feelings so that they try to avoid an argument with you as best as possible.
Operating in the real world is very different from the academic and scholastic world. If you enjoy that world then become a teacher or professor in one of those institutions.
Some may tell you that the only way to get the Best of an Argument is to avoid it but at times it is not an available option and there need to be an amicable conclusion in order to move on
Here are some things that may help you.
1. If you argue and rankle and contradict you may achieve victory sometimes but it will be an empty victory because you never get your opponents good will.(Ben Franklin) So think about it ,which would you rather have academic theatrical victory or a person’s good will?
2. Here lies the body of William Jay who died maintaining his right of way. He was right as he sped along but is just as dead as if he was wrong (Boston transcript)
3. Hatred is never ended by hatred but by love and misunderstanding is never ended by an argument
But by tact, diplomacy, conciliation and sympathetic desire to see the other persons’ point of view.(Buddha)
4. No young man who is resolved to make the most of himself can spare time for personal contention (Lincoln)
5. Welcome the disagreement-Remember the slogan. When two partners agree one of them is not necessary. Perhaps this disagreement is your opportunity to be corrected before you make a serious mistake.
6. Control your temper. You can measure the size of a person by what makes him angry.
7. Listen first , give your opponent a chance to talk. Let them finish. Do not resist, defend or debate. This only raises barriers .Try to build a bridge of understanding not higher bridges of misunderstanding.
8. When on yells the other listens, when two yell there is no communication just noisy vibrations
9. If you can be sure you are right 55% of the time you can go down Wall Street and make a million daily . If you cannot be sure you are right 55%of the time why should you tell others they are wrong
You do not have to say you are wrong in words, You can tell people they are wrong with an intonation, a look or a gesture just as eloquently as you can use words. This will make them feel you have insulted their egos and self respect .That may sometimes make them want to strike back..If you hurt feelings you cannot alter opinion.
!0. If you begin by saying “I am going to prove something to you, that is bad. It is like saying I am smarter than you. That is a challenge and will raise resentment and opposition.
11. Distrust your first instinctive impression. Our first natural reaction in a disagreeable situation is to be defensive. Be careful, keep calm and watch out for your first reaction it maybe your worst.
12. Promise to think over your opponent’s ideas and study them carefully and mean it. .Your opponent may be right.
This is not Bible and I vow to make this a project on own myself less by my looking at others I may become an outcast for those same weaknesses I have highlighted above.