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How to love your lover and get your exciting love life back

Updated on February 27, 2013

Do you need to spice up your love life?

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Ways To Love your Lover

  1. Don't forget that they exist.

Regardless of how long you've been together, most couples tend to stray away from the closesness and friendship they once shared. We all tend to get "comfortable" at one point or another and that point is different for everyone. When your partner walks in the door in the evening, let them know that you were thinking about them by giving them a hug, a kiss, and/or ask them how their day was, even if you've heard the same response a billion times. This let's them know that you think about them and wonder how they're doing and feeling. Think about it, if you walked in the door every day and your partner didn't say anything to you until they needed you for something, that would make you feel pretty unwanted wouldn't it? Acknowledge that you love them and appreciate that you have them in your life.

2. Do sweet things for them daily/monthly to let them know you care.

Another thing you can do to let your sweetie know you love them, especially if you have busy schedules and don't have a lot of "together" time, is to leave them love notes. Now this can be an actual note on a piece of paper that you slip into their lunchbox or coat pocket. It can also be leaving a "ghost message" on the steamed up mirror when they're in the shower or a piece of their favorite chocolate/treat on their pillow at night. There are so many ways to show them that you care. Have lunch delivered to them at work, flowers, candies, etc. They'll thank you later, trust me:)

3. Do things with them that you don't necessarily like to do.

It's common knowledge that we're all different in this world. So, when you put two different people together, you're going to eventually run into certain activities that the other half of the relationship doesn't much care for. Do it anyways!! I can't stress enough how much this will show your loved one you care, by putting your own needs and desires aside and trying to enjoy something that they enjoy. It can be golf, a video game, bowling, going to the shooting range, a basketball game. For the men, it wouldn't kill you to go to a craft fair, a carnival, a fashion show, or just shopping. I know you think it'll kill you, but i promise it won't. Maybe you can talk her into buying lingerie and then your trip won't be wasted at all will it?

4. Stop the nagging.

Okay, I'm a woman, I know that we are the queens of nagging, but let's get real here, men nag too just not as often. So, when you see that cupboard door hanging off the hinge that's been banging around and bothering you for three weeks and it's still not done, another three weeks of not having to open the door yourself because it's broken, is sufficient time to leave the subject alone after the inital suggestion. OR, fix it yourself. I can fix just about anything around the house so there's no use in being a pain in the ass about something so trivial. And for the men, if your woman won't make you a sammich...get off your caboose and do it yourself. You have legs, use them. If you're in a good, equal relationship, don't let things like this start unnecessary arguments. And one more time for the women, stop the nagging! Men are far more simple than we are and they typically cannot think of more than a couple things at one time. Give them some time to do what they need to do, or just do it yourself and you'll save your relationship alot of bitterness and arguments. Trust me. Your man just might help you with the dishes once in awhile if you quit nagging him about it. Try it.

5. Communicate.

You have to talk to each other in order to gain any ground in your relationship. We all know this, it is common knowledge. Many people, mostly men, are not so interested in the talky talky like us women are, but figure out how your man does like to communicate and use his caveman grunts and groans if you have to get a point across. As I stated above, men are simple creatures and cannot fully grasp as many ideas as us women can at one time. Wait until the football game is over to talk about your garden or your aunt Betsy coming to visit. They will understand and cooperate with you much easier if you talk their language. That doesn't mean they shouldn't listen to you at any moment if there's something important to discuss, but if the dishwasher is making a funny noise and you don't know what to do...turn it off. If Aunt Betsy is on her way over and your man dislikes her very much, wiggle your ass in front of the tv and you will get his attention. He will thank you later for that. That's your way of showing him love, warning him that Aunt Betsy's coming over, so that he doesn't have to listen to her ranting about what a loser she married and asking questions about why the cupboard door hasn't been fixed yet. And men, clean the potatoes from your ears and look in her eyes, focus on her when she has something to say. If it's about the broken dishwasher and you already know it's a quick fix, I give you permission to watch your game and then discuss it. But I must warn you that you better get up and get your own beer.

Spice It Up

Sweet and innocent by day, Sexy by night

1. Give your lover a tease.

Teasing your lover a little bit throughout the day will only keep things heated up so that it'll be on like Donkey Kong at night. As you're passing by them, touch them seductively without getting yourself into trouble of course. Let them know you want them and you love them. Try to do this a couple times in a day, kiss them passionately and then let them go, look them in the eyes with that sexy look you gave them in the beginning.

2. Try something new.

If you've had the same routine for a long time, switch it up by getting a new piece of lingerie or learning a sexy new dance. For the men, give your woman a night where it's just about pleasing her. She'll eventually WANT to please you, but give it a shot. Light candles, pour her a glass of wine, play some music. You can try role-playing in the bedroom. The cowboy and the beautiful hostage or use a different accent to talk sexy. You might start out laughing at each other, but just the fact that you're trying something new, is sexy all by itself, so don't worry if your british accent sounds more like a scottish dog.

3. Again! Communication!

We give teenagers a lot of flack about sexting these days, and as well we should. But, this is a spectacular avenue for keeping your adult love life spicy and sensual. You don't have to look your partner in the eye when you're telling them what you want them to do to you, which is especially mortifying for many people. Therefore, you get to actually communicate your likes/dislikes, both of you, and there will be no embarrassment because by the time you get to the bedroom your partner will already be steamed up and ready to try that new "secret" thing you talked about via text earlier. Not only that, you can tease each other and talk dirty all day long with happy, sexy texts. It won't take no damn hour to get them in the mood this way, trust me!! Try it, you will NOT be disappointed!!

5 stars for Let's Get It On/How to save your love


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    • profile image

      CJ Sledgehammer 4 years ago

      Dear JamieD:

      Before I go any farther, I just want you to know that I think you have a great personality and attitude. Both are very rare in this world. I also want you to know that I find myself caring for you, so the protective side of me is beginning to show a little. It's just the way I am. :0)

      I am sorry you work around such liscentious and promiscuous women. The Bible tells us that bad company corrupts good character. Aint that the truth! The Lord instructs His daughters to be modest and virtuous and this requires sexual purity.

      It is so disheartening to see so many women throwing their virtue to the wind and selling the most valuable asset they possess for scraps. In the case of your "friends", please remember that misery loves company and many women are mourning the loss of their innocence, but since they cannot ever get it back, apart from being born again, they try to elevate themselves by bringing their sisters down to their level. We live in a fallen world indeed.

      Jamie, please know that even the demons have a "relationship" with the Almighty, but it does them no good. The Lord said, "If you love will keep My commandments." And, one of those commandments is to live a life uncorrupted by this world.

      Sexual impurity is physical and spiritual corruption on the highest order. One cannot approach God with a clear conscience when one is actively living in sin. A person cannot serve two masters.

      With God as my shield - C.J. Sledgehammer

    • MissJamieD profile image

      MissJamieD 4 years ago from Minnes-O-ta

      Thank you Sledgehammer. And yes, you're right. By today's standards I waited a long time to have sexual relations with my bf. People I worked with couldn't believe I waited that long in fact one girl was obsessed with the fact that I wasn't having sex with him for that long. Every day she'd ask me if we "did it" and each time I said "no", she'd say jeez you've had ample opportunity, why don't you just do it? That being said, I realize she was being ridiculous and obviously has no idea of how her and her men should be treating one another. As you said, I'm also sinning by having relations before marriage, I understand that, but as skewed as my relationship with God may be, I do have a relationship with Him. It becomes stronger every day. I allow him to lead me in life, moreso now than ever before. I don't get negative and down on myself, after living my entire life with low self confidence this is amazing. I do hear where you're coming from and I appreciate that you spread God's word, He knows there aren't enough of you out there doing that. So thank you:)

    • profile image

      CJ Sledgehammer 4 years ago

      Dear JamieD: certainly work fast, Kitten!!!

      I am not here to judge you, because God knows I have made my share of mistakes, but what you have just told me is that out of the first 11 months you have been dating your new have been sexually intimate with him for 9 of those months, which means that 82% of this relationship has been physical.

      Sex with your ex in one month and sex with your new flame in two. Hmm. I know by today's standards that may seem like waiting patiently, but even at that...two months is on the fast track to merging one's body, spirit and mind with another - and that's exactly what sex does. This is why the Almighty set this precious activity aside for those who entered into a marital union and called those who broke this covanent "fornicators".

      Been there...done that, JamieD, and I have the t-shirt to prove it.

      What I am trying to convey to you is that one cannot see clearly when one is "mating" with someone outside the marital union. Sex blinds and binds. It brings couples closer together (in thought, word and deed, as God intended), but that is not what the Almighty wants for those who are unmarried. The sexual union is a gift only for those who have entered into a Godly union.

      Couples should be looking hard at the other party and using good sense, sound reason, and Godly judgment, so they can make a wise marital decision while courting each other. The Lord told us to test the spirits to see if they are from God and to examine the fruit. He also told us many devils masquerade as angels of light.

      Children of God, therefore, should be "putting on" the full armour of God to withstand the temptation of the devil...not "getting it on" with a new suitor with unknown intentions. I can say this, because I had done the same thing and it damn near destroyed me.

      Jamie, I desire for you to love God fully, but I also know it cannot be done when when you are "making love" outside the marital union and are violating the "temple". The Lord said that sexual sins are like no other: they defile the temple, which is your body and they sin against God as well. I just don't want you hurt, Jamie. Go in peace and sin no more. :0)

      Peace be with you - C.J. Sledgehammer

    • MissJamieD profile image

      MissJamieD 4 years ago from Minnes-O-ta

      Thanks Sledgehammer. You're definitely right. I've been with my current boyfriend for almost a year now (in a month) and our relationship has definitely been put to the test and we're only stronger for it. Of course I don't plan on marrying him for at least another year and truthfully I'm not planning on marrying him at all because I have to be 100% confident that it's going to work for a lifetime and we still owe each other more time to make sure that's the right decision. Since the day he and I met, we haven't went one day without talking. When I met my ex, we were together a month before I was sexually active with him and that didn't work with my current beau it was two months. We spent time together every single day before that happened and he never pressured me, not even for a second. Him and I both took the necessary precautions because we'd both been in 15 year relationships prior to that and needed time to feel each other out (not literally of course). So, he's my angel and I adore him and love him to pieces but If I learned one thing from my previous relationship (being married 15 years) it's that I'll never make a rash decision about anything pertaining to that relationship. My advice to anyone is to take your time. There's no rush for anything, as long as you have each other that's all you need. It's not necessary to get married right away because you'll only cause both of you more problems later on when you realize that that wasn't the best decision.

    • profile image

      CJ Sledgehammer 4 years ago

      Dear JamieD:

      I wish you all the happiness in the world and I am glad to hear you are in a stable and loving relationship.

      I pray this is the case, but sometimes it is hard to tell early on. As you noted previously in the answer forum, the true nature of some people cannot be discerned right away and it takes time to see the truth.

      Unfortunately many people want to "get it on" right away and this blinds them to the truth until way down the line (after a great deal of damage has already been done). Once physical intimacy has reared its ugly head, it makes it so much harder to do the right thing, think straight or even see straight. Such is the nature of sexual relationships.

      I wish you well.

      Peace be with you - C.J. Sledgehammer

    • MissJamieD profile image

      MissJamieD 4 years ago from Minnes-O-ta

      Well Sledgehammer, thank you kindly for your compliments (and comments). I agree with you 100% that civilization has strayed much too far from the Bible. I'm certainly not perfect and I've done things that God may not necessarily approve of, but God does know that he and I have a relationship and I put my life in His hands. I turned my life to Him several years ago and I haven't been the same since. I'm a completely different person inside and out, and anyone who knew me before and now, is in awe. And when I say men are simple creatures, that is not a downfall in my mind, that IS how God made them, as you said. We women are much more complicated internally but I certainly would never insinuate that we are better, tis not true. I agree with you also that women seek out the wrong men. For the completely wrong reasons. Women these days marry a paycheck or the pretty boy or the bad boy. When I found my current relationship, not one of those things were involved. It was completely from the heart for he and I. Neither of us were looking for love at the time, we were recently out of very similar relationships and situations. Do I love the fact that he's built like a house, YES! Do I love that he is manly and strong and has already saved my heart and soul so many times? Absolutely. But, were those things that I was looking for in a man? Absolutely not!! I wasn't looking for anything except true love. No expectations except those of an honest, compassionate human being. So, as I said, I agree with what you're saying and I agree 1,000% that unfortunately God is being exiled from our lives and this is not good for mankind. Thank you so much for your insight and wisdom. I appreciate this so much.

    • profile image

      CJ Sledgehammer 4 years ago

      Dear JamieD:

      For someone who does not claim to be an avid certainly know how to turn a phrase and captivate your audience. Well done. :0)

      Personally, I don't believe any man or woman should be involved in sexual activities outside the marital union. In my mind these people are breaking the spiritual code and are living in darkness as a result. The Bible says that sexual sin is like no other because we sin against our own bodies as well as against the Almighty.

      You mentioned, "men are simple creatures and cannot fully grasp as many ideas as us women can at one time." Well, this may or may not be true, but just remember that man was made in God's image and anytime you want something fixed - it is a man who shows up to the rescue and they are also the ones who built civilizations and defended their families, countries, and homes with their own blood.

      The problem is that women often choose "cave men" to copulate with - so who's fault is that? If women were as smart and "with it" as they want to believe and if "female intuition" actually worked as they say, then womankind would be happier in their marriages and lives as a result and there would be far fewer divorces, broken hearts and broken homes.

      Best wishes and be well - C.J. Sledgehammer