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How to know you are in Love with some one

Updated on October 22, 2013

Am I really in love?

How to know you are in love


Ben walked into the parking lot of his building and met Susan. She had long hair, wore a blue blouse over mini-skirts, with high heel shoes. He stood motionless for seconds, walked up to her and got her card. When she was out of sight, he said to his friends. ‘Guys, she is the one; I think I am in love.’ It’s very common to hear people make such pronouncements these days after meeting someone for the first time. A lot of people get so attracted to physical looks, that they think it is love. Most people today define attraction or lust when they are asked to define romantic love. What therefore is love? And how can you know you are in love?

What is Romantic Love, and How can you know you are in Love?

Love, Lust and Attraction

Your opinion about falling in Love

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Love and Lust compared

Romantic love occurs when some one feels a strong emotional desire or passion for another person. When you are in love with some one, you desire the person at a very high rate, and usually find your self in high spirits in the presence of the person. Love is illuminated by attraction and it lasts for long depending on the nature of relationship you have with the person you fall in love with.

Romantic attraction refers to that strong feeling that arises in a person at the sight of another. Attraction is illuminated by looks and can illuminate either love or lust.

Lust is simply looking at a person and having the desire to fulfill erotic desires with that person. This feeling is kindled by physical looks. The shape of a person could quickly kindle this feeling in another person. Tight-fitting dresses that carves out the shape of a person has the tendency of illuminating lust, even when the victim of lust does not appreciate the sexily dressed person as being beautiful or handsome. Should a relationship develop from this, the tendency is that the lust victims only crave to satisfy their erotic desires. With time, they begin to notice nasty things about each other which they did not know. They then notice that the only thing which they have in common is sex. They end up hurting and hating each other and then break the relationship. The sad thing is that they always think they are in love.


How then do you know you are in Love?

In order to know that you are in love with a person, you must know the person. It might have began with attraction for a stranger, but to confess that you are in love with that person, he or she does not have to be a stranger any longer. You should know what the person likes, what the person hates. You should know where the person likes to go, what the person likes to do, what annoys the person or in other words ‘what brings out the beast in the person’. If you can know everything that is negative about a person, and you are willing to tolerate that nasty part of the person and then still have the ability to cherish the person deep in your heart, you can proudly say that you are in love.

The question now is; how long do you have to know the person to ascertain that you know enough about the person to be in love?

It is impossible to claim you know a person after two or three dates. A lot of people know how to hide their feelings very well and play the role of an actor or actress, portraying a life that in no way resembles their real lives. Some do this to win the love of their dates, while others do this so they can easily gain trust, and then fulfill their lustful desires. They say that; ‘character is like pregnancy, no matter how long you hide it, it always manifests.” There is no defined period that can enable you know another. It is advisable that you practice abstinence while having dates with the person for months or even more. If that person is hiding something, it is likely to be made manifest during this long period. You have to do this, to assure your self that the person appreciates you for who you are, and not only for what you can do in bed. If you want to build a relationship that will last long, you also have to take a long time to build it.

If you come to know the person you fall in love with, as you know your own friends, that is; the good, the bad, and the ugly about that person and you still have that strong burning feeling in your heart about the person, then you are in love. If all you want to do is sleep with that person, don’t fool your self, you are not in love, it is lust. If it is a strong feeling you have about some one you've seen for the first time, then it is attraction or 'chemistry'. It can lead to lust or love depending on how you handle it. Finally if all you want from that person is his or her money, then it is nothing but business. This is how you know whether you are in love or not. On a personal note, abstinence before marriage is a great virtue fully endorsed by God. I fully recommend it.


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    • profile image

      markzin1 4 years ago

      I am truly humbled at your comment!. Thank you for checking my work.

    • CraftytotheCore profile image

      CraftytotheCore 4 years ago

      Great first Hub! Welcome to HP! I'm so thankful that you dropped by and left me a comment so I could read yours. It's so nice to see you around.