- Gender and Relationships
How much does beauty matter in marriage? The aesthetic angle!
I was shocked to see my friend looked grubby and dirty when I visited her. She was always impeccably dressed when she went for work and to see her looking so shabby at home came as a revelation for me. ‘Why do you look stunned? I am just at home and no one is going to see me like this’ she told me. She forgot that her husband was there to see her looking shabby and grimy.
Most of you feel it natural to be well dressed when going for work, but feel lazy to look good when at home. Does being presentable at home in any way enhance your marriage life? Will it surprise you if I say 'yes'?
Beauty does matter
Beauty and appearance do not directly affect your relationship, but your uncaring attitude towards your appearance does affect it. ‘I am loving and caring. Is it the not the most needed criterion for happy married life? I am tired from a hectic day at work and you cannot expect me to take time to look good at home also.’
Your argument is fair enough! But let us suppose you have planned an outing after coming from work! Do you go out without grooming yourself up, citing your tiredness? You make efforts to look good and attractive, don’t you? How does it become possible for you to forgo your tiredness when you venture out of home?
You want to present yourself as well groomed to the outside world. So, you understand the importance of being well groomed, but ignore its importance in married life. It is true when you say that love and care are the essence of marriage, but well groomed looks form the aesthetic angle of marriage.
You are edgy and irritable when you return home tired and if your spouse looks sweaty and fatigued, you feel your edginess increasing. If on the other hand your spouse looks neat and pleasant you feel your irritation visibly disappearing.
You should not cite your tiredness as the reason for your shabby looks. When you truly love your spouse, you want to look good before him\her. Do you remember how much care you took to make yourself beautiful\handsome before marriage just to please her\him?
Then why do you feel averse to make yourself presentable after marriage?
Of course you cannot be dressed to kill when at home. You have to make yourself well dressed at work to look professional and also to be successful. When you are at home, your dress should not be ill fitting and too old as it will make you look dull and shabby. When you return from work, you should have a relaxing bath to wash away your sweat and tiredness. Smelling good and clean is another aspect of attracting your spouse.
Change into clean clothes and comb your hair. That will do! Do you know how much of reciprocal attraction it evokes in your spouse? But it is ironical that man wants his wife to look good for him whereas he loiters around in ill fitting clothes and with unshaven look when at home. Your wife too wants you to look good for her.
It is sad that you do not take care of your physique after you marry. Your physique decides how well you look and it should be your top priority to be fit, agile and attractive.
As I said earlier, looking good does not make your marriage successful as its success depends on other factors, but it is the pulling power of couples. You feel attracted to your spouse when she\he looks good. It gives the aesthetic touch to your marriage.
© 2013 mathira