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How to make a marriage successful?
Often things start great just after marriage (whether it is arranged or love). Life is new and spicy.....but as things go on, feelings on being monotonous grips people. They feel as though they are seeing the same old face, eating the same old food, and have already become old. The charm of marriage suddenly disappears. Some of the basic facts are:
- Couples fail to give due importance to each other like before and start taking their presence for granted.
- Try to spend less time with each other or start giving excuses of work, etc.
- Start misunderstanding each other and fail to retain that charm that was there initially.
Whether you are married or just starting a relationship, privacy and space are extremely important. You cannot just take the other person for granted. People start getting overpossessive at times and the other person starts feeling suffocated. Men often order women, not to go here and there or talk to him or her. This is the most important reason we see wives snapping bonds of friendships because their husbands were very fussy!! Now that is very bad since the girl is already leaving her home for the guy and it shows a highly conservative nature of the guy.
I LOVE YOU
Yes, saying the three magical words, ‘I love you’ to your spouse really keeps the magic going on. Sending flowers as a surprise or calling in the middle of the day, does not really feel like a Bollywood or Hollywood type of romance even if you are 50 years old. Trust me, these are very practical... just that you have to shed that hesitation from your mind.
Taking your spouse to restaurants on weekends, not just anniversaries, taking a break from work and going for some romantic memorable holidays, etc. are just not things for early ages...
A surprise phone call for your wife, or a bouquet of flowers to show love... or celebrating occasions like ‘Rose day’ or ‘Valentine’s day’ or making something for her (handmade) are some means to recapture the lost magic.
There are dozens of things which people can think to impress your spouse.
BE CALM AND UNDERSTAND YOUR PARTNER’S NEEDS
Too much misunderstanding or argument is very bad for any relationship. Having discussions on a topic is fine, but exaggerating it or having a heated debate is not. If there is some argument, take a break. Have a glass of chilled juice or a drink and take a walk in a park. Come back when both of you are normal. Sometimes, say sorry, even if it is not your fault. This helps to make the other person realize faster. Statements like, “See, I am sorry if what I said made you angry, but I only said that, ..... for your happiness” really help. Try to resolve heated debates with least amount of conversation. No marriage is complete without arguments and some fights... but then, too much of anything is bad!!
KEEP PRIVACY IN YOUR PRIVATE MATTERS
If you are having a discussion, then keep it within you two. It is your private matter. Your neighbours should not become uninvited spectators here. In fact, your parents or especially children should not hear them. Children learn from parents and their maturity comes from what they learn from their parents, so a child with constantly yelling and fighting parents is bound to become paranoid and have an unstable, emotionally insecure future. Any argument should remain within the boundaries of the room. If you want to talk regarding something, ensure it is out of the hearing of the children and talk in a low pitch within a room and nothing beyond that room. Give proper space and chance for the other to explain his/her point. Misunderstanding, right away, or being bossy is not the way to discuss anything.
Finally, any marriage works on certain compromises and sacrifices. You may not always be right or wrong, but let it be. Sometimes, with time, issues get resolved, which you may not be able to handle right away.
Love and live together forever..
SPENDING QUALITY TIME IS HIGHLY ESSENTIAL
Work is very important but so is spending time with each other. Do not bring your office work to home (this is not achievable in today’s time so here time management is a hint). Time at home is meant to be spent with family members. Ensure to spend at least two hours with your spouse and children, no matter how busy you are. People normally spend time with TV sets rather than their bedroom. There should be no TV in the bedroom (this is not true for all, as some people will find it really boring to not have TV inside their bedroom. You can watch a movie or a comedy show to laugh together). But the point here is talk to each other. It could be about anything like ‘what he did today’ or ‘what she did today’.
LACK OF COMMUNICATION SHOULD BE AVOIDED
Talking is the best thing, which not only keeps a couple intact, but makes them feel that the channel for communication is still open. Problems arise when, that channel appears to be closed and hence, communication with each other becomes very stringent. All you need is dedication and interest in your spouse. Gently lying in your spouse’s arms and talking and giving time to him/her is not only romantic but also extremely pleasing and relieves stress. In this way, more than half of your problems will get solved.
SEX IS AS IMPORTANT IN A MARRIED LIFE AS FOOD FOR OUR BODY
Another big factor is SEX. Now I do not mean to be rude here, but people, especially in India, feel as though sex is a weird and occasional thing. Unfortunately, people have so many misconceptions regarding sex that they fail to realize its importance in married life. Body and mind have their needs and a regular sex is no big deal. In fact, people have their own minds regarding it, as though it is some festive thing. Spending quality time with each other and having regular sex is very important and hypocrisy in this matter is never good. The pleasure of sex can be understood only by someone who does not lust for body, but understands that physical relationship is something that enshrines love with luster. Sex is not a 2-minute game, but an art to master. It is more about giving pleasure.
RESPECT THE FEELINGS OF YOUR SPOUSE
- Respect each other and each other’s feelings. The sanctity of any marriage lies in giving respect.
- Even children learn to give respect when they see their parents respecting each other.
YOU ARE SPECIAL
All want to be special. It is this feeling of being ‘special’ that brings people together. You will definitely like the person who treats you specially. It is also similar in married life. Life partners should respect each other’s feelings and treat them special.
DO NOT LET EGO COME IN BETWEEN YOUR RELATIONSHIP
The most important rule everyone should remember in a relationship is there should be no place for ego and both should accept each other the way they are without expecting any change in them for other’s satisfaction. Instead both should move one step forward and make each other happy. One should not look at self-satisfaction, but the other partner’s satisfaction is very important. It is all about giving pleasure. In this way, both are working for each other. Then, there is always love and blessing relation till the end of life.
YOU SHOULD BECOME GOOD FRIENDS
The biggest thing in a marriage is that the relationship of a husband and wife should be like true friends. This leads to closeness and understanding. You share a lot of things with your friends that you might not be able to share with your spouse, so if the spouse becomes your friend, then there would be more friendliness between couples. If the two have mutual understanding, there is nothing that can disturb the peace between them.
EXTERNAL FORCES WORK ONLY WHEN THE INNER WALLS ARE WEAK
Here external forces mean the outside people or factors and inner walls mean you, your partner, and your love. In a marriage, you should share everything with your spouse. Sometimes, when you have certain mood changes, you do not want to be disturbed and need some time alone. At this point, it is extremely necessary that the other partner understands this and give some space.
NEVER TALK TOO MUCH ABOUT THE MARRIAGE PROPOSALS YOU RECEIVED IN FRONT OF YOUR PARTNER
Talking too much about the marriage proposals you received can create a disaster type of situation. In countries like India, wives use a statement which hurts the ego of a husband and it is “I received better marriage proposals than the present one but I am unfortunate that I landed up with you”. Do not think that I am a male and this is the reason I am favouring husbands here. Even a husband does several things that hurt the ego of his wife. The point here is that this should be avoided.
Above were some tips to make a marriage successful. Your input is also extremely necessary to be written in the comments section below. So go ahead and share your views. Let us make this article a discussion board where we can talk regarding making a marriage successful.
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- 10 Commandments of a Successful Marriage : Usa Sadhu Vaswani Center : ISBN 9781425930523 - Buy.com
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