- Gender and Relationships»
- Relationship Problems & Advice
How to make somebody like or love you?
Loving Yourself First
You can't You might at the very least create interest or bring attention to yourself but the idea that you can make yourself into what someone else wants is bogus. Efforts along these lines are transparent and, if anything, quite repulsive to mature, thinking people.
Besides, you are young and attractive and the idea you can improve on nature is somewhat daunting, don't you think? In addition, the notion that young people have of love is somewhat naive,a nd that is not a criticism of you, personally.
The attraction of youth for the opposite sex is almost purely visual, just the way nature intended. It's no accident that young people are physically endowed with those special qualities that attract mates. While the body matures rather quickly and is capable of early mating, the mind has not yet developed the capacity to make reasoned and quality judgments that are responsible and that serve the person well.
Given the major distractions of the world today, it is entirely possible that some persons skip some areas of mental development that might help them become better judges of the future potential of an enthusiastic suitor. Consideraions such as can he get and keep a job. And, can he support me emotionally and maturely so that I don't just take on another responsibility? And , if there is a child involved, will I have to raise my mate as just another irresponsible child?
Far better it seems, to invest some qualty time with yourself. It would probably surprise many that the "love" that keeps them awake at night wth longings and yearnings from the depth of the soul is akin to another addiction to substances like drugs or alocohol. When some addicts are fighting for their life to give up a substance, they describe the process as similar to trying to break up with a long term love interest. So, is it any wonder then, that even in the presence of highly negative consequences, the behavior to retain the relationship may not only continue, but escalate?
There is nothing quite so satisfying as observing couples who have achieved in their time together a look of contentment and happiness. It is as if they can anticipate the other's every move, and make counter moves at a seemingly unconscious level. They communite with body language and looks at one another that are both subtle and distinct.
Finally, these couplings are further described as uniquely peacable, lacking competition or control that seems to dominate less confident relationships. If there is physical size there appears to be no dominance that is observable between the players. Whatever differences that may have existed in the past have long ago been mediated and discarded to the ashes of history.
Develop your own interests first, Before falling in love take some time first to test the waters and ask the question: who am I, and what is my purpose here? Develop an interest in your friendships and nourish them. They offer much in the present and can serve your well in future hard times that are inevitablely human. The harder they are for you to work on, the more they will help you to maintain trust and develop skills for keeping love alive. This is particularly true of females who generally describe friendships that are easy, exclusively with male companions, and are of short duration.
As we get out there we keep hearing that life is short and that we need to value every day. I will witness that life is even shorter than they say, and that life is fragile and precious and we cannot value our time here too much.