- Gender and Relationships»
- Advice & Tips for Women in Relationships
How to make your husband a happy man
Keeping your husband at home
The cultural man
When we get married we tend to overlook so many things in our partners. I don't know whether it is because love is blind or the lovers are blinded by their love. You might never notice some characteristics or you will simply ignore them. It's important to know that you cannot change some habits in your husband unless he decides to change himself. For instance if you knew he was a drunkard when you met him, rest assured you are ready to live with it unless he decides to quit drinking. Likewise, if he was brought up in the village with some die hard cultural practices, you cannot change him unless gradually in a manner that he accepts.
For instance, there are some communities in African cultures where it is believed that a man should not cook after he has graduated to a man through circumcision. This type of a man will go and buy cooked dinner when you are unwell and cannot cook. He will do that daily until you get well.
The civilized / modern man
This is the type of a man who grew up in a modern setup or grew up in the village but is very flexible and hence has transformed to a modern man. This is the type of a husband am talking about. If you are lucky to be having such a husband with an addition of gentleness in him, then you are a lucky woman. It's very important to keep him at home.
Ways of keeping him at home
1. Call him up while he is away just to find out how his day has been like.
This makes him bond with you so much that he misses you and will do the same. So it will be like a responsibility to both of you and hence a routine. He will definitely come home early enough and a happy man.
2. Welcome him home if you get home earlier than him.
Many mothers have assumed this is the responsibility of the children. I don't agree with that at all. The kids will run ahead of you and hug their father but by the time he is through with them, you should be standing there to welcome him in your own way. Leave whatever you were doing just for about two minutes and then go back to it.
3. Cook food on your own.
I know you cannot do this on daily basis but in most cases you realize he does not like food cooked by the house help. He surely loves your cooking and you should make sure he enjoys the meal.
4. Spice your love life
Spicing your love life begins with the first three points above and ends here. I agree that sometimes he could do some things that really disgust you and make you moody. But it's important to appreciate that he cannot be you. Every person is unique in his own way and you will not like the way he does everything, he must annoy you sometimes. He also definitely hates some part of you but appreciates that you cannot be perfect and has learnt to live with it. So you only need to do the same and avoid mood swings that can ruin your love life.
This is the most important of all of them. It carries about 70% whereas the others share the 30%. If this area is not well taken care of, even a very good husband will go astray. If you are the reserved type of a woman, you need to start flexing to make him feel at home.
My take on this
Men are adventurous and many have tried other women outside their marriages at least once. What you should do as a woman is to make sure that you are better than any other woman to him so that he is not driven out there by any forces but is instead driven towards you. The whole family will be happy in the long run.
Keep the fire burning.