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How to make your relationship better: Making a relationship work and last

Updated on March 11, 2014

How to make your relationship better? What are the little things you can do to make your relationship last? Whether it is a relationship that you have just started or something that you expect to turn into a blissful marriage, making any relationship work is all about stepping backwards and tending to its simple needs. This post is a lovely reminder of all the basic things that love actually needs to survive and blossom into a beautiful and everlasting bond.

If you want your relationship to grow, don't let the conversations die.
If you want your relationship to grow, don't let the conversations die. | Source

1) Keep talking: Discuss relationship issues freely and sort them out

Making your relationship work is all about getting under your partners skin and getting to know the real person below the facade. This can only be done if you openly keep talking about each and every aspect of your relationship – good and bad.

Whether it is something as intimate as sex or something as quirky as your partner’s weird habits – put everything on an open platter between the both of you. Verbally explore every nook and corner of your relationship so that you know just about everything there is to know about your partner’s personality, likes, dislikes and more.

2) Address jealousy, possessiveness and insecurity immediately

Jealousy and issues that arise from possessiveness can break apart even the most loving relationships. These unnerving feelings can make your partner very insecure. Over time, it can corrode away all the trust in a relationship.

The easiest way to tackle problems of jealousy is to address them immediately as and when they arise. Don’t let these things linger around because they can easily snowball into issues that will create cracks in your relationship.

3) Give and get respect

People talk about respect in friendships and at the workplace but not everyone understands the importance of giving and getting respect in relationships and marriages alike. Respect from this perspective is a deep sense of appreciation for your partner – not just as your boyfriend or girlfriend but as an individual too.

Whether it is in your everyday conversations or one-off arguments, don’t disrespect your partner. Expect the same from him or her too.

Work out, get fit, dress well and groom yourself so that the spark of attraction in your relationship continues to sizzle.
Work out, get fit, dress well and groom yourself so that the spark of attraction in your relationship continues to sizzle.

4) Look good for your partner

It takes only a couple of months to go by in a new relationship after which partners start taking the core essence of attraction for granted. People stop dressing and grooming like the way they used to when they began flirting with each other and went out on their first few dates.

Don’t let the spark in your relationship disappear. Dress up for your dates, groom yourself to look better naked and work out so that you can get a fit body.

5) Don’t lie: Even small lies can break relationships apart

Don’t underestimate the destructive power of even the smallest lie in your relationship. Something that you may consider to be a nonchalant issue might actually be something very close to your boyfriend or girlfriend’s heart.

Try to avoid lying altogether, including white lies. Own up to your mistakes and make sure that you don’t give your partner a chance to doubt a single word coming out of your mouth.

6) Just listen to your girlfriend or boyfriend

Everyone likes to talk but very few actually like to spend time listening and absorbing what other people have to say. Getting into the habit of listening attentively to everything your partner tells you will help you spot issues that are bothering him or her.

Listening to even the silliest of your partner’s rants can play a crucial role in making the connection in your relationship better. This is one of those little things that every boyfriend, girlfriend, husband and wife should do actively.

Don't push your partner into an emotional turmoil by raking up the past again and again.
Don't push your partner into an emotional turmoil by raking up the past again and again.

7) Don’t bring up your partner’s past in your conversations unless necessary

Whether it is bad childhood memories, heartbreaking memories about being dumped by an ex or scarring memories of being bullied over and over again – the past can haunt people for a lifetime, let alone a few months or years.

Using past behavior as an example is an easy way to pin someone down in an argument but it can cause a lot of emotional damage. Keep this in mind and remember to avoid raking up the past in arguments and fights unless necessary.

8) Don’t flirt with others if your partner can’t handle it

The debate on healthy flirting will go on forever but if you think that your partner can’t handle the fact that you flirt with someone, don’t do it. And if you can’t handle if your partner flirts with someone else, make it clear from the very beginning.

Girlfriends, boyfriends, husbands and wives who feel uneasy when it comes to their partners flirting with others can easily spiral down into an emotional whirlpool of jealousy and suspicion. They may be unable to draw a line between flirting and cheating, which can cause fights and unnecessary complications.

9) Don’t try to change your partner’s personality or behavior

Whether it is a certain aspect of someone’s personality or a quirky habit that looks out of place at social functions – a lot of guys and girls fall in the trap of trying to change their boyfriends and girlfriends.

Make sure you steer clear of this vicious trap if you don’t want your relationship to turn into a toxic one. Even if you feel that you are giving advice that will help your partner, think twice before you say it. Choose your words wisely and make sure that you don’t sound as if you are imposing restrictions on how he or she should behave.

A two minute mushy conversation about the future is all it will take to keep your relationship alive and bubbling. It will strengthen your bond.
A two minute mushy conversation about the future is all it will take to keep your relationship alive and bubbling. It will strengthen your bond.

10) Don’t be afraid of talking about the future

It may be impractical to talk about how to make your relationship last if you or your partner are unwilling to talk about its future. This will be a problem for people who are commitment phobic.

The key to overcoming this hurdle is to stop short of equating conversations about the future with commitment. Talking about the near term future of your relationship doesn’t necessarily imply that you are cementing your relationship status to being committed for a lifetime. Be open to sweet little chats that start with ‘So where do you see us after six months’ or ‘How do you think our relationship has come so far’

Talking about the future can be a very healthy thing for any relationship. It gives both partners something to look forward to.

11) Stop taking your girlfriend or boyfriend for granted

It is very easy to take your boyfriend or girlfriend for granted after you ease into your relationship. You might even be doing it unknowingly. Reflect on your behavior with your partner and see if you are taking his or her presence for granted.

The worst part of such a situation is that people who are shy and introvert will take time to realize that they are being taken for granted. But once they do, their reactions will possibly be more intense than what you would generally expect.

Making a relationship work is all about knowing your boundaries when it comes to dependence. Don’t put yourself into a habit where you depend on your partner for just about everything because you will eventually take their help for granted.

12) Come out of your shell when you are with your partner

It is a myth that a relationship between two shy people can’t blossom as beautifully as one between two people who are extroverts. In fact, guys and girls who are shy often find themselves letting go in front of their girlfriends and boyfriends if the connection is honest and genuine.

If you are an introvert by heart and find it difficult to express yourself usually, try to loosen up when you are alone with your partner. Over time, getting rid of your inhibitions in front of him or her will help you find a comfort spot in your partner’s company. Your relationship will become what stories in romantic novels are made of.

Walk away from arguments as much as possible.
Walk away from arguments as much as possible.

13) Walk away from arguments and fights as much as possible

This should be the golden rule of making your relationship better. Always remember that fighting and arguing with your boyfriend or girlfriend is as good as hitting yourself in the foot with a hammer. You will eventually get nowhere, while all the insults and intense conversations will cause deep emotional wounds.

Every time you think that a conversation is getting too hot to handle, walk away. By doing this, you will give yourself and your partner some time to introspect and cool down. Don’t forget to apologize when you must.

Make it a habit to walk away from silly arguments. You will set a great example and your partner will also appreciate how you come out as the bigger person every time. In the long run, this will make a big difference in the connection you share with your partner.

14) Love unconditionally and never let malice creep into your feelings

True love is supposed to be unconditional and if your feelings come with strings attached, maybe you are in the wrong relationship to start with. At the core, your feelings for your partner should be free of expectations and conditions.

The minute you start linking conditions to how you feel for your girlfriend or boyfriend, malice will take over your heart and mind. If you find yourself in such a position, remind yourself that it is a one way street to heartbreak and disappointment.


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    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 

      6 years ago from The Caribbean

      Rules numbers 3 and 10 are on the top for me. Good job as usual.


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